Wow! This is an interesting discussion. I’m glad it has gone down so many roads with so many perspectives.
I can’t imagine how scary it must feel for parents to send a child to college who has a serious condition of any kind, or to learn while their child is away that a condition has become very serious. Especially when the child is legally of age to manage their own care.
I’ve realized for myself that the initial vent revealed a huge difference between my expectations (which were established with what I now realize was unusually pro-active care at my campus health clinic) and the care my kids received, which was not pro-active or in the case of my daughter who was near to suicidal students, supportive. Isn’t it often true that anger or frustration is a result of an expectations gap. Still - I don’t think it was unreasonable to think that my daughter was exposed to some rough situations at school that she wasn’t exposed to at home, and it would have been helpful to have counseling readily available for that situational problem. I’m glad I could help her get it privately.
I forgot to mention Laurie Santo’s class at Yale on well being - the most popular class on campus. I have benefited a lot from the podcast (The Happiness Lab). I believe she said (somewhere else, I couldn’t find the source but I remember reading or hearing it) that she was surprised by the poor mental health of students and wanted to do something to help. Brava!
“Psychology and the Good Life, with 1,182 undergraduates currently enrolled, stands as the most popular course in Yale’s 316-year history.”
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Colleges generally do have such processes in place, though perhaps we should communicate that better with students. At my school – not unusual – we have a process by which we put teams together immediately, staffed with specialists who can help the students access care. Those might include administrators, medical staff, the disability center, mental health staff, and others who can connect students with a food bank, short term loans in case of homelessness, etc. (our students are often living on financial margins). Many faculty, like myself, are trained to report to the office that assembles these teams for students, and reporting can happen with or without the student’s consent. We are mandatory reporters in cases when immediate harm to the student or others seems likely (or possible). We are not equipped to provide long-term care, but we can connect students with services and follow up as needed.
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Let’s not forget the burden this imposes on roommates, resident advisors, the kids down the hall-worrying about and dealing with a suicidal classmate is not easy for anyone, and they will all have emotional consequences if something happens. Colleges have admitted kids with a history of suicide attempts and involuntary hospitalization. I understand being inclusive, but how should others be expected to deal with these issues? I have a friend whose college age daughter is suicidal, and I don’t blame the roommate for moving out, saying she can’t possibly deal with the stress of not knowing what she will face every time she returns to the dorm room.
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Yes, the impact on other students is something we worried about at the last school where I worked. It was a very small school, and the impact of a student who was struggling reverberated throughout the school. My coworker who handled student services was very much in tune with what was going on. She contacted parents/spouses when students were in crisis, she drove students to the local mental health crisis facility, she packed up student things when a student had to leave, she worked with campus security when a student would go missing … whatever it took. It’s more difficult to keep such close tabs on students in a larger school, but they have more staff to share the responsibilities. The key is to establish a culture in which everyone cares about everyone else, processes are in place for reporting concerns, and students who are in need can receive help. Even at a very large school where I worked, that culture was in place. The team that reviewed leave of absence/withdrawal requests did everything possible to make the process as easy as possible for students with mental health crises (including backing off tuition when possible).
That sounds very compassionate and extraordinary; I just wouldn’t go into any college expecting that level of support. IME most students are themselves adjusting to college life and have their own concerns ( whether academic, romantic, whatever) to deal with and do not have much bandwith to support others. Faculty have phd’s which do not equip them as mental health counselors or therapists and usually limited contact with students. Health services tries to proactively educate but is too overwhelmed to offer much in the way of monitoring student well-being. Students need to be effective advocates for themselves in obtaining needed care, including seeking out private sources. Parents should expect that.
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