“That said, probably most people do it to share a little good news and stay connected. A former college roommate 2000 miles away sent an announcement (with a no gifts please request) for a child we have never met. We wrote a note of congratulations and it was a chance to be in touch. Fun all around.”
I wonder if Facebook has fundamentally altered this kind of thing.
I wholeheartedly agree with GMT. I believe people send them in hopes of receiving gifts…cash. I sent 2…to people I knew were getting my kids gifts for sure…grandparents.
I agree that it can be seen both ways. I dont see it as a solicitation for a gift. But that said, when I get one of these, I send a gift. Apparently I am too generous, compared to some of the suggestions here.
Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences. To clarify, my friend and I have been in touch more recently than 8 years, but just haven’t seen each other. I love the idea of a $20.15 check! (Now, what are the chances she is reading this thread? 
)
Oh, and the announcements were almost definitely produced by the school. They have the mascot on them, but are quite fancy – double envelope and all. I bet it is something parents could order if they wanted.
Just as another point of clarification, this is not a family for whom high school is a huge milestone. Parents have advanced degrees and undergrads at well known schools too. Student is college-bound. However, with that said, he may not be typical of the school population.
My kids sent them to relatives and close friends, just like I did back in the day. They also sent college announcements, as did I.
I think some of this may simply be how different families do things. I have a small family. There’s really no “extended anything” on either side. We have 11 people here with me for my D’s graduation and with the exception of one family member who is too frail to travel, that’s pretty much all there is. I don’t have cousins and my H wouldn’t know his cousins if he tripped over them. So for us sending announcements to relatives would come off as asking for a gift. But larger families may do things very differently!
I think it’s hard to go through life questioning people’s motives and intent. We get announcements, wedding invites, baptism announcements and I think “how nice to be thought of at this milestone”. We send a card, or a Facebook hello, celebrate with them. If we are close enough I already knew about the event, I’ve already sent the gift.
I think it’s good for HS grads to know there are people outside their family wishing them well. Life is short, and uncertain, with too few real occasions to celebrate, so I’ll take 'em all.
I am truly surprised that you’ve never seen anything like this before: lovely formal announcement; calling card with student’s name printed on it; and possibly a copy of the student’s senior photo. This type of announcement is very much in line with what was sent when my sibs and I graduated from HS back in the last century, and that I have continued to receive from family and friends who live in many different parts of the country. It is not asking for a gift, it is sharing a child’s milestone.
If you feel like it, send a “congratulations on your graduation” card or note. If you feel like it, send a small gift. If you feel like it, put the senior photo on your fridge. And if you don’t feel like any of that, toss the whole shebang into the recycling bin.
Yes, we had them, too. Back when people communicated these milestones individually.
This: I think it’s hard to go through life questioning people’s motives and intent.
Manners is/are a two-way concept. Do what you feel comfortable with, even if that means noting the news and then ignoring a gift.
The first “next gen” hs grad on DH’s side sent out announcements. He was the only one. Heck, I had to snoop around FB to learn another in that gen got married and had a baby. People do what they do.
And yes, my kids’ hs offered announcements. We considered getting some for the treasured older aunts and uncles, who thrive on this sort of thing. But whatever the minimum quantity was, it was too many.
I did not send them to friends/family - not for high school graduation or college graduation. Why would I send them to family - they all already knew that my kids were graduating. And really, it was news to no one that my child was graduating from high school. There was never any doubt in the matter that they’d be graduating! And frankly, my kids had no choice in the matter.
I have the oldest children in the family and I also wanted set the the tone. Sending out announcements can imply that we expected gifts for our children. We did not want/expect gifts for our childrens’ graduations and I frankly didn’t want to send gifts everytime a niece/nephew graduated (there are so many that it could bankrupt us!).
^“I also wanted set the tone.”
Okay, but others may see it differently.
OP here. Apologies if I have offended anyone who sends these out. Truly new concept for me – have never seen one before, not even the college kind. Makes me feel young to find out about things that had existed all these years unbeknownst to me. Thank you for the information.
^^ I have no problem with the notion that ‘others may see it differently.’
I am merely explaining what I did and why I did it.
When we’ve discussed this before, I and some others remarked that we had never sent or received a graduation announcement, neither for ourselves nor for our children. Yet it is clear that in some circles/places they are common.
I would be stymied in the same way if I received one out of the blue. I would feel very awkward about sending a newsy card of congratulations without a gift to the son, but not to the mother. His only interest in you would be monetary. 
So I’d either send him a card with the $20.15 check, or send her the newsy card.
I sent him a gift card!
Most of the schools contract with particular companies for cap and gown purchases. These companies give packages out to the students with prices for announcements, invitations, all sorts of moneymakers. Some of the stuff is ridiculous along with the prices.
Yes, the price of announcements made our kids decline them. They felt it was WAY overpriced and they didn’t want them at all.
In my experience (anecdotal), in the midwest/south it is rare not to send them, whereas in the northeast it is rare to send them out. I think it is cultural. Even if everyone knows, to get the announcement in the mail is to be included; and to have a souvenir to keep in the family bible.
Why do people collect anything? Why do people say “hello” to each other? It is not always about efficient transmission of information or seeking of something from the other. It is cultural, and people frame it according to their upbringing.
It is also often the first time a child is responsible for communicating directly with all the family members (without a parent interceding) and establishes a model and address database for future extended family relationship-building.
^envelope was not addressed in the child’s handwriting, unless it is eerily similar to his mother’s
I live in the midwest, and I have received a number of graduation announcements. I have always felt that the parents were happy to share the news, and I never considered it anything else. At times, I sent a small gift - other times, I simply noted the fact that time sure flies & how on earth could their kid be that old. I never felt the need to send a gift, to respond, or anything else … and no one dropped me as a friend (or told the other relatives I was horrible), so I guess all is well.