We received a high school graduation announcement from a friend of mine for her son. It seems to be an announcement as opposed to an invitation. The friend lives far away, like flying not driving distance. I have never received an announcement like this before. Should I send a gift? I have not seen her or her son in about 8 years. She did not send anything for my son for his graduation a couple of years ago, but then we did not send announcements either (sheesh, it’s just high school!)
What would you do? Are these types of announcements common in other parts of the country? (It looks almost like a wedding invitation, but it looks like maybe it is something the school gives out for people to send, because it congratulates the class of 2015.) It leave me puzzled and I wonder what Miss Manners would suggest.
We did send a limited number of announcements to family and close friends for HS, fewer even when we got to college (wouldn’t have done at all except grandparents like them). I don’t think they’re unusual - more common than invitations since many HS and college graduations limit tickets per family. If I get one for someone else I don’t see it as a necessary gift. If I would get a gift for them anyway (nieces, etc) then I send a gift. Otherwise I send just a congratulations card.
Some HS graduation package deals include cap, gown, tassel and limited announcements. I didn’t do those since I needed so few announcements, but I know people that did.
I did not send out announcements for my college graduation, and it really put off some of my relatives. They felt that they were not important enough to me for me to include them in life events, and they do save these sorts of announcements for nephews, grandkids, etc. in scrapbooks.
It is hard to know what to do from either end. If I get an announcement, I like to acknowledge with a congratulatory card and a check. @somemom has a great idea!
Agree–a nice card with news is fine. Not need to send a gift or money. If you WANT to send a gift or cash, that would be OK, but it is totally up to you, especially as your S didn’t get anything from them for a similar event.
Yeah, I don’t understand people hurt if they don’t get one (Lots of people don’t send them at all), and certainly a gift is not required. Send your congratulations.
I had a neighbor years ago who discussed sending such announcements to extended family and friends a distance away almost as a fishing exercise: you never know who will send a little something along.
That said, probably most people do it to share a little good news and stay connected. A former college roommate 2000 miles away sent an announcement (with a no gifts please request) for a child we have never met. We wrote a note of congratulations and it was a chance to be in touch. Fun all around.
It’s an announcement. Very fancy these days! I agree that some border on wedding invites. Do what you wish–send a congrats card with or without gift as you see fit.
This isn’t a “very fancy these days” thing. Back in the Pleistocene when I graduated, my parents sent out actual engraved announcements. I know they were engraved with my name on the card because I still have the metal plate into which they were engraved. Like that is going to be ever valuable…
My sister lives pretty far from both sides of the family and she just sent out announcements fro her son’s HS grad to those who could not be there. They were printed up at Costco, where she works, and featured a photo collage of her son doing different things in and for school. Since we rarely see them, it was nice to see him in his element and I certainly didn’t mind. As has been said, it was an announcement, nothing more. Because he is my nephew, we’ll send him a check. My younger D has an adopted “Nana” who keeps a wall of photos, announcements and the like of all her bio and adopted kids and grandkids. She loves to spend time looking at them (in her 90’s and doesn’t get out much) and she would be very sad if we did not send her something announcing D’s eventual graduation.
We just got one for our nephew. Perhaps they are more common in some parts of the country, as neither S nor D had or received any of these, although I remember sending them out for my OWN HS graduation eons ago.
Our kids didn’t send out any announcements for HS or college graduation. We received a few and sent notes of congratulation, and/or gifts as we felt moved. We didn’t feel pressured to give gifts if we haven’t been in contact with the sender or sender’s family.
We sent out a dozen, all out of state. Two-thirds went to relatives, who we are regularly in touch with. Three went to teachers and a former coach that D is regularly in touch with. One, with a nice note and a photo, went to a kindergarten teacher that D was very fond of 13 years ago. D thanked her for starting her off on this journey.
While I get GMT’s point, I doubt that any of the recipients will see this as a crass solicitation for gifts. No gift is expected or anticipated by D. But she means enough to most of these people that they would want to give her a pat on the back for a job well done.
OP is puzzled and is trying to figure out if it’s a solicitation for a gift. I recall my parents getting HS announcements from nieces/nephews thrice removed and wondering the same thing.
DS and I just announced his HS graduation via FB and got plenty of “Likes”
GMT, I saw the OP’s post. I understand that the person lives flying distance away. OP has not seen them in 8 years, though it is not clear as to how often they have communicated by other means during this time. She asked whether announcements were common in other parts of the country, and I related our experience.
I hope no one views an announcement via facebook as some kind of a backhanded solicitation for a gift. We wouldn’t want someone reading a nefarious intent into something like that!
I think announcements are just that…announcements about a milestone. A young man at the church I work for just sent a graduation announcement to the entire congregation-he specified “no gifts” but said he wanted to let his “church family” to know he’d made it through. I suspect most announcements are sent in the same vein. Not everyone views HS graduation-or college graduation as just an “oh well, it’s just HS or just undergrad”. Some families are happy about it and want to share the news. Doesn’t bother me.
I am not a fan of them for either hs or college, but I have to agree with dragonmom that these are nothing new. There were those who sent fancy ones back in the day. What’s changed is simply the ease / speed at which one can get printed announcements as well as the ease of adding photos which would have been a far bigger and expensive deal back in the day.