This poignant video is a reminder of all the times we fail our kids by not saying or doing the right thing at that moment. We then live with the guilt and try to forgive ourselves for our failures and make up for it in other ways. This father did something about his guilt. His video does a beautiful job of reminding us all that our first responsibility is to love and honor the kid we have whoever they turn out to be. It’s easy to forget that during the college admissions process in particular and at all the other important transition points in your kids’ lives generally, so this was a timely reminder.
There is a delightful, hard-working young man that I know who has down’s syndrome. He has consistently defied all expectations and is holding a part-time job on a college campus, which he has held for many years. He manages his own money, catches the bus, makes jokes, and generally seems to enjoy life a great deal and is very loving and wonderful to be around. His parents divorced some years back and for her money from the divorce settlement, she purchased a house with 6 bedrooms, which she plans to turn into a group home for high-functioning adults like her son, who need a little help and supervision but otherwise are quite independent.
I too believe we all have a lot to learn by being around different types of people and not only neuro-typicals. Being around my kids, especially when they have been in the throes of their chronic illnesses has been a great teacher and humbler. Indeed we all DO have a ton to learn and teach.
sadly my niece’s related disability is so severe she can no longer walk and can barely crawl on her own at age 7. they didn’t have health insurance during her pregnancy and didn’t get good prenatal care or testing. we all love her dearly of course but we can’t help but think her spirit would have been passed to the next pregnancy if she had been terminated early. of course no one talks about it. we love her dearly
It is not the job of the child to exist to teach the parent. Life happens and we deal with the hand we’re given. In my medical training I saw some of the more extreme physical problems along with the mental slowness. I understood why one family gave up a child to the system instead of giving up their lives to care for the child like another family did- one day I had no outpatients I could talk to on the Pediatric Anesthesia service, those severely brain damaged plus a deaf girl and a baby. It wasn’t a good day for patient rapport.
Unfortunately Down’s syndrome most often comes with extraordinary challenges for parents that mean a lot of work to get to basic self management. Also there are often many medical challenges as well. It IS a disability and requires extra from society. I would not wish this on anybody- extra burdens exist for some people but should not have to define their lives. There are others with mental slowness (for those who like euphemisms) who can be trained to do simple jobs, such as maintenance. There was a guy who cleaned/mopped the stairwells at a hospital- we’d say hi and he did his job.
Many moral/ethical issues can be raised.