Villanova or Binghamton?

I just finished visiting both during open house. I have little idea of what I want to major in and neither school has a course on becoming a dictator so I’m still figuring that out. It’s my understanding that Binghamton offers more majors but educational rigor/quality is similar, so I’m concerned about the social aspects and reputation of both schools right now.

Some background about me, I’ll try to stay brief and not sound melodramatic: My family struggles financially because my Mom has a brain injury and injuries in her hands/joints from a car accident (Functions similarly emotionally and mentally, mostly affected her physically and makes her feel sick from Vertigo attacks), and my Dad is unemployed but has some income from letting the Honda dealership next to the gym he used to operate rent his parking lot. We can afford Villanova with the financial aid we’re receiving, but it was apparent during my visit there that the students are generally wealthy and athletic, much like my school district. Since I am neither of those things, I was ostracized almost entirely throughout middle/high school and not given the time of day unless it was to harass me for having “faggy” clothes/shoes. I went from outgoing/energetic to depressed, socially awkward, and quiet. I’ve heard that the best way to make friends is to “join clubs” and “get involved” but I have no interests anymore. I’ve only done school work, taken care of/spent time with my little brother while my mom wasn’t feeling well, slept, and I occasionally played video games as a distraction (Not a passion, so I don’t know if any video game clubs would be right for me). Exciting, I know.

I know there are horrible people everywhere, but I’m concerned that my experience at Villanova might be the same or worse than middle/high school. I liked the campus much more than Binghamton’s, and the presenters gave much better and specific information on the school’s programs and student accomplishments than Binghamton which made it feel both warmer and superior academically. The people seemed nice but I didn’t get into any real conversations with students.

While the organization of Binghamton’s open house was a train wreck, the students I talked to gave me the impression that I’d have a much better chance of finding friends because that school is much more diverse from what I could tell. Plus it’s cheaper and has more courses, but has a worse reputation compared to Villanova which I think is especially important if I want to transfer somewhere else unless I do something amazing or become a dictator.

I would lean towards Villanova if I was more confident I would be socially accepted. I’m sure there are nice people there, but if they’re not going to give me the time of day because I can’t dress the same and am god awful at sports, I’m not interested in going.

I’m considering deferring enrollment in case my Mom’s law suit ends which would help our financial situation a lot, but that’s been ongoing for 12 years and was supposed to be over 9 years ago, so I’m not counting on it. The year off would also give me time to get in better shape (I’m super skinny, another reason I’m ostracized and harassed), work on social skills/getting back to how I used to be, and maybe finding an interest/passion to pursue in college, but maybe that’s me being too hopeful/naïve.

Thanks for taking time to read & respond, I definitely wasn’t brief haha, I appreciate any advice to help me decide what to do.

Prestige wise, for transfer they are equal. I’d do Bing if you felt more comfortable there and the cost works out better. The state schools here are very very good. And regardless of your impression of Villanova, if you didn’t feel the fit, that can be a good indicator it is not for you.

Now, are you feeling up to school this fall? I’m pretty sure you’ll find a few friends at such a big school, as long as you are ready to. If you are, you can put on some weight freshman year, go to the pool/gym or join a broomball team or something. You can even visit a school counsellor or join a group therapy thing if it will help there.

Don’t wait for a lawsuit. It sounds like you know how that will go…

I’d suggest becoming a doctor rather than a dictator. That rarely ends well;). Good luck!

I can’t confidently say if I’m ready for school again this fall, but I can’t confidently say a year off would really do me any good either. I think it’s optimistic to think that it will fix anything, but I don’t think I really have anything to lose if I do defer enrollment. My dad will support it and I think prefers it, but my mom is worried that a year off would make it harder to transition back to doing school work and hurt my grades.

In regards to getting in shape freshman year, I could go to the gym at school, but I wouldn’t be comfortable doing it in my current state. I definitely can’t go to the pool since I live on an Island and can’t swim :^) You can imagine how my swimming unit in the 10th grade went. Another thing I’d like to learn if I deferred enrollment.

As for therapy/counseling, I don’t believe it helps. I went before and all it did was make me lose respect for it. My therapist just wanted to see if I needed to be hospitalized or put on antidepressants rather than talk about problems and how to fix them. My older brother saw a therapist longer than I, and eventually did take antidepressants which made him happy, but his personality changed such that he is now very selfish, judgmental, obnoxious, arrogant, condescending, and overall the worst person I know.

One thing to consider is that the student services at Villanova (being smaller and a private school) will be better and more attentive to students than at Binghamton. So if you need to stop by the counseling center or talk to your faculty adviser or meet with your academic dean - all more accessible at Villanova. In fact, as a freshman, there are points in the yr where they will seek you out not the other way around to see how you are transitioning/adjusting etc.
It is much easier to fall through the cracks at a school like Binghampton and given your situation the extra support at Villanova may be nice to have. Villanova kids are also very into community service. so while there may be kids there that remind you of high school, there will also be welcoming and kind kids as well
Good luck

If you feel like Binghamton is a better fit and it is cheaper, then go there. Don’t discount gut feel as part of the equation.

Villanova costs roughly 2.5x more than Binghamton. Villanova may have more prestige and a nicer campus, but it is 2.5x more prestigious or 2.5x nicer than Binghamton? I think choosing Binghamton would go a long way to help with your family’s financial situation and its a great school. In my opinion, you won’t be selling yourself short by choosing Bing.

Binghamton is up there in best value for public colleges out of state.

@STEM2017 it’s 2.5X nicer, but they’re about the same academically.