<p>I think it is very thoughtful if you are staying a while (and you don’t burn the kitchen) to offer to make a family meal. It doesn’t have to be fancy, but it allows for the host/ess to have a break from the cooking without feeling guilty about going out to dinner on a young college students’ dime. If you and gf make it together, it can evenbe a fun experience. Just remember to clean up after. This doe not work in a home with a “particular” cook or neat freak, but it can be a nice evening.</p>
<p>Offer to strip the bed at the end of the visit and gather the used towels. Put your dirty dishes in the dishwasher. Be friendly to any siblings and pets. You could buy a box of candy at the airport, doesn’t have to be anything fancy.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Use good table manners.</p></li>
<li><p>Don’t curse in front of her parents or siblings. (I think some of my offspring’s friends are incapable of talking for more than 5 minutes without using profanity.) Hey, if they use it, okay. But some of us old fogies don’t like it. </p></li>
<li><p>Don’t ask the price of things. </p></li>
<li><p>Avoid bringing up politics or religion, unless you know in advance that it won’t cause any friction. </p></li>
<li><p>Watch the alcohol. Even if you are used to having beer and wine every night, if they don’t drink, don’t. Even if they do drink, do NOT drink and drive. </p></li>
<li><p>If you borrow their car, fill it up with gas.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Oh! I agree with everything that has been said! Great advice! I would just like to add to be a good sport and join in, don’t be awkward or silent and dour, even if you are rather shy. No one likes to feel as if they are having to work at conversation with someone who answers in monosyllables and most people like to have lively, engaged, interested and interesting people around. If you have a talent, offer to share it or to show others how to do it, and just have fun. It is wonderful to be around people who tell engaging stories and who ask questions about what they are hearing. </p>
<p>You sound like a very considerate, thoughtful young man and I am sure you will have a great time. Relax and have fun!</p>
<p>I might be a little wierded out by a thank you note handed to me as you walked out the door… just seems like you are trying TOO hard. Although I completely agree that a thank you note (sent by regular mail) is something you should do after the visit.</p>
<p>Ask if you can help in the kitchen with meals – even chopping some vegetables, or stirring something on the stove, or making the salad mix from a bag is good. The GF will probably be by your side and can advise if you are not sure how to do something. :)</p>
<p>Second the advice to play with/pay attention to smaller kids and pets. Our dog LOVES D1’s BF (who has visited maybe 3 times) because he pets her extensively and walks her while he is here. He even worked on trying to get her to sleep on her new bed last time he was here (although even he could not get her to accept this strange new item… so we knew it was futile then). D2 approves of him as well – the two of them include her sometimes when they are going out when he visits (eg, to an afternoon visit to a museum or on a hike).</p>
<p>D1’s BF always brings me something (usually chocolates, as he learned from D1 that this would be looked upon favorably). 
He sometimes also has flowers – I think he gets them in our airport, although you can’t count on that, I guess.</p>
<p>I’m not a parent but this is the opinion of myself and my parent. </p>
<p>It seems like everyone is telling him to do things like he wouldn’t normally do them. I’d want my significant other to act how he acts when my parents aren’t there (obvious ix nay on the PDA). If the person I was seeing wasn’t respectful/mature in all types of settings, I wouldn’t be dating them.</p>
<p>I see what you’re saying, CPU. And I agree that if the guy didn’t have the basics down, the girl likely wouldn’t be interested. But I took the asking in the spirit of “Help me think of things I maybe hadn’t thought of!” Also, if someone is a bit shy or everwhelmed it’s easy to pull back and keep to themselves a bit more, but we’re encouraging/reminding him to extend himself a bit.</p>
<p>I did one of these meet-the-parent overnight things when I was 19, and no one told me to take a gift or send a thank-you. In retrospect, I looked quite unpolished, which I was.</p>
<p>D2 has a lot of “veto” power when it comes to D1’s BFs. D2 is almost 5 years younger than her older sister. The first one talked non-stop, and D2 is kind of a silent type with a sarcastic humor. The current one was told not to dominate conversation in front of D2. He treats her like an adult and he shares her sense of humor, so D2 gave her thumbs up.</p>
<p>Most parents want to like their kid’s bf/gf, especially if he/she is good to our kid. I would get upset if my girl’s bfs would expect them to wait on them - cooking, getting food or cleaning up after them. I would also try to have a 1:1 with either parent when they are cooking/barbecuing/doing dishes.</p>
<p>
This is particularly good advice–the corollary is: don’t talk too much about yourself.</p>
<p>That hand written thank you note sent no later than a week after your return…YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT AN IMPACT THIS MAKES.</p>
<p>Youdon’tsay (and everyone else). I didn’t mean for my post to be negative, apologies.</p>