<p>I’ll be travelling across the country in a few weeks to visit my girlfriend and I will be staying at her house for several nights. Do you have any advice for being a good guest and making a good impression with the parents (besides the obvious like cleaning up after myself, etc.)? Also, should i bring some kind of gift for her parents as a thank you? I only ask becasue I’ve never done any visit like this before and I dont know what expectations you would have of me, as parents. ANy advice would be appreciated!</p>
<p>1) Don’t assume you’re sleeping together.</p>
<p>2) Yes, take a thank-you gift – flowers when you arrive.</p>
<p>3) Not only pick up after yourself but put the seat down, do your own laundry (in other words, don’t let your gf do it).</p>
<p>4) Be on your best behavior! Watch your language, hold doors open, etc.</p>
<p>I’m sure I’ll think of more …</p>
<p>Minimize the PDA in front of her parents.</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses! @Youdon’tsay I already know we’re not sleeping together so thats not a problem. And PDA makes me uncomfrotable so I try to avoid that anyway. I’ll be travelling by plane and getting picked up at the airport so I dont think flowers are really a possibility. Any other gift suggestions?</p>
<p>Call them Mr. & Mrs. so & so unless they say it’s ok to call them by first names (ignore if you’ve already met them before)</p>
<p>I really like #3 (Youdon’tsay)…don’t ask your gf to do things for you…it makes it look like you expect a woman to wait on you. It’s ok if she offers to help and you help also. But don’t expect it/depend upon it.</p>
<p>Even if you do live together or even stay in the same room, don’t be all grabby in front of others. It’s ok to show affection (holding hand, arm around her, kiss her every once in while) but no one wants to see their daughter seduced.</p>
<p>If you can do this…perhaps bring a gift from YOUR part of the country that they might like. If you’re driving, this will be easier than if you are flying.</p>
<p>I agree…be polite and offer to help out (clear the table, wash and/or dry the dishes, carry things out to the patio for dinner, etc).</p>
<p>Is there a regional food from where you live that would transport well? (candy would qualify) Ask GF for suggestions - or small gift from a local gift store that has a regional flair? (I’ve been brought hand dipped candles from a craft place local to friends that were appreciated)</p>
<p>Write a thank you note after your visit.</p>
<p>Lots of great advice. I’ll add: no excessive PDA, but treat your GF in a manner that would tell them that you care about her. :)</p>
<p>Definitely you a thank-you note afterward!</p>
<p>Agree about the PDA.</p>
<p>Embrace the family “culture.” If they love to play board games, join in even if you don’t like board games. It’s not going to kill you, and your gf will appreciate your extra effort.</p>
<p>More than not expecting the gf to do things for you: offer to do things for HER. When you get up to get a glass of water, ask if she wants one. Offer the bowl of chips to her and the others before you take one.</p>
<p>This is a good way to behave all of the time, of course!</p>
<p>Gift: this does not need to be extravagant, just something thoughtful. Your name makes me wonder if, say, maple syrup is made in your area. I bottle of syrup or local honey or a few hand-dipped chocolates are appropriate.</p>
<p>If there are small children and/or pets be especially kind. It’s hard not like those who like your kids and pets. ;)</p>
<p>Agree with the other advice.</p>
<p>Remember that you’ve been invited to stay with the family, not (just) your girlfriend. Don’t hide in her room and come out only for meals. (It doesn’t need to all be together time, by any means.)</p>
<p>On the food front: families are different, and all are weird. Even if your family knows to buy 2 gallons of milk a week, theirs might not. Try not to use up the very last of something late in the evening – people get grumpy when there’s no milk for cereal or coffee the next morning. </p>
<p>And please – do NOT bring your cellphone to the table for texting. (You’d think I wouldn’t need to say that, but you’d be wrong.)</p>
<p>And a small hostess gift – which could be even a jar of jam or local honey (as long as you’re not trying to take it on as carry-on luggage!) is very thoughtful. One guest brought us a really pretty bar of handcrafted soap. </p>
<p>Have a great time. We’ve enjoyed having D’s boyfriends over.</p>
<p>One gift idea is to give them a local/regional specialty from your home. We’ve received chocolates, snack mixes, and pottery that were all appreciated. </p>
<p>If you wanted to spend more money you could pick up a gift certificate to a restaurant in their area.</p>
<p>Great advice I will only add:</p>
<p>First, relax!</p>
<p>Express an interest in her family. Ask them about their jobs, hobbies, personal history. (People love to talk about themselves, plus it takes the burden off YOU)</p>
<p>But perhaps MOST important: a hand-written, personal thank you note after your visit is over. Trust me, that gets you an almost infinite amount of points.</p>
<p>The parents will probably go out of their way to accomodate your food preferences, but if they happen to serve something that you’ve never tried, give it a shot - you might actually like it.</p>
<p>What thumper said, bring a traditional local food or craft item for a house gift.</p>
<p>always make up your bed in the AM. When leaving, remove sheets from the bed and put the spread back onto the bed. Offer to take the sheets to the laundry room. Again, these are things our mothers taught us that we should always practice…</p>
<p>The last time one of my D’s friends stayed with us, she left a thank you card as she was walking out the door. I was impressed! I’d be even more impressed if this were done by a boy. (Sorry for the stereotyping…)</p>
<p>If there still is time, discuss with gf what things the parents have already planned for your time there. Show an active interest in and genuinely offer to assist in these plans. Take appropriate clothes. Take enough money so that if something comes up you aren’t strapped.</p>
<p>Have plans for some of the time you are there. The parents may not really want to turn this into them running a bed and breakfast and entertainment company. Make sure that you and gf let them know what you have planned in advance and be flexible enough to change your plans if there is a conflict between your plans and theirs.</p>
<p>Ix-nay on the outward display of affection with gf unless the parents are really, really touchy-feely and even then keep it “lite.”</p>
<p>Is gf their only child? Is she under 25? If so, just tread lightly.</p>