When S and D were in a condo in Reston, they NEVER encountered another person in the elevator, hallways, anywhere the entire 1st week they were there. They found it very weird. S lived there awhile and then moved because cigarette smoke drifting into his rental made him wheeze.
1 Like
I have young relatives who live there and their experience has been very different. They have a dog and use the walking paths all the time, and they are also bicyclists, so they get out and about often.
5 Likes
Agree with @1214mom. I lived near Reston for almost 25 years and had many friends there. I have walked or run most of the paved paths in Reston with my friends and there were always others outside. It’s a very active place.
3 Likes
Reading about Reston makes me smile, since I lived on the other side of the Parkway in the 80s. My parents sold the house around 2010. But I’ve run on all of those paths too! It’s where my running career began. It’s a very neat place.
For giggles I looked on zillow and there are condos in the $300K range. Houses would be out of the 500K price range.
3 Likes
I am acutely aware that this topic is not for me.
I do wonder how making connections and relationships is important in determining where to move to?
I get that people don’t want to move to 55+ communities. It is a community where making relationships and friendships with neighbors happens. Because many come from other parts of the country and don’t have family close, it’s a way to form friendships.
If you are moving and not close to family, how important is it to make friends when there’s not work and you are of a certain age?
I lived in Ohio most of my life, raised my kids there and have family in the Cleveland area. Although Ohio is in the Midwest, I have found that Cleveland for one is very family oriented. Meaning your friends are your family or people you went to school with. You can find lasting friendships but it feels like everyone you meet is still hanging out with their cousins, siblings and the people they went to school with.
Like I’ve said, I’m not the person who this topic is for. We moved after our kids went to college, finding friends has been not that easy. Seems to be even harder after Covid. Our neighborhood used to be very friendly with lots of activities and friendly. The neighborhood is turning over, the new residents seem to already have their friends and relatives, don’t seem to be as open to even attending any events.
6 Likes
I think this is a profound point.
I’ve relocated to areas where most people are born, live and die within 100 miles, and relocated to places filled with transients. I found that it’s MUCH easier to make friends-- casual friends, important friends, lifelong friends- in a transient community.
Nobody has grandparents to help out on early dismissal days at school for teacher’s conferences or whatnot- so they help each other. Nobody has the built-in aunts/uncles/cousins for birthday parties or the Super Bowl or to drop off a meal when everyone is stuck home with the flu- so the neighbors are organized around the Meal Trains, grocery runs, trips to CVS.
In my “such a friendly place” midwestern city, folks were indeed friendly. But their nice manners masked the fact that everyone had their friends and support networks already, and nobody wanted to invite the "new person’ to book club or to have a new family come over for popcorn/let the kids watch Frozen for the 500th time.
12 Likes
The Harvard Study of Adult Development, which is one of the longest running studies ever, maintains that close friendships are better predictors of happiness, moreso than social class, IQ, or genes. I just read a book by one of the current directors (The Good Life by Robert Waldinger and Marc Schulz). I felt vindicated because whenever my H suggests moving to a warmer climate, I tell him that I’m not moving to a place where I have no friends!!
12 Likes
Friends are overrated. We’ve never lived near family and have moved several times over the course of our careers. The ability to make friends or form community has never been on my list of must-haves. DH is a gregarious, fun-loving person who never has trouble finding his people, so his friend group always becomes “our” friend group. This spill-over effect is sometimes too much for me. Half the year, we live in a community with over 60 clubs and constant events and opportunities for interaction. People who want to know you are everywhere. That’s too much pressure for me. I crochet once a week with a small spin-off of a larger club, and that’s about all the interpersonal stimulation I can sustain. Our purchase of a cabin in the woods was not only a weather choice but also an isolation choice for me. I can recover from winter over-socialization with a few months of rural summer solitude, just me and the chipmunks.
Many here keep bringing up their aversion to 55+ communities, and I’m with you, but if easy access to activities and friendship opportunities are important to you, there are many lovely, non-age-restricted communities targeted to active adults looking for social engagement and fun. I live in one. Sigh.
5 Likes
I love reading everyone’s side of the living/socializing spectrum. I wonder how we’d be and what the tea would be on all of us if we lived in the same neighborhood. 
In terms of ME thinking about a walkable town, I’m not looking to walk to the big box grocery store or a Target, Barnes and Noble or a strip mall. I would actually DISLIKE being close to a major road or shopping area. What I want in walkability is the local coffee/restaurant/boutique/bookstore. A local hardware store. Neighborhoods of older homes to walk and roam. Small town and small business.
That to me is heaven!
6 Likes
Yes. Where is Mayberry RFD these days?
5 Likes
I remember telling a friend about a terrific vacation we had taken in Vermont. We stayed in a cabin at a state park (very reasonable rent), we needed the car for excursions, but everything else was walkable- the lake with kayak rentals, bike paths, a cute little retail area with grocery store, bakery/coffee house, a few different ice cream stores and restaurants.
The friend said “Oh, that sounds fantastic. But no real shopping, right?” so I described the various home grown stores on the main street- a candy shop where they made fudge in front of you, an “outfiteer” selling basic socks, t-shirts, gym shorts, sneakers; a hardware store for batteries, household basics, etc. Her reaction was “But no upscale shopping, right?”
So I guess there’s that perpetual tension between wanting home grown stores owned by local residents (which are going to sell T-shirts and flashlights) and needing Restoration Hardware and Starbucks wherever you go! I remember walking through the downtown area of Scottsdale once and wondering “where do the locals shop?” By the time you’re done with Neiman Marcus and Saks, is there anywhere to buy a roll of scotch tape or a box of bandaids?
7 Likes
And thus all the types of living we DO have, to suit the needs/desires of all kinds! 
1 Like
It exists right across the river from me! :).
3 Likes
That describes my neighborhood exactly! Small locally owned businesses, coffee shops, bookstores, restaurants, ACE Hardware, etc. even the full size supermarket is a local chain. Post office, library, parks, etc. Charming old houses. No fast food places or big box stores.
If you can deal with winter weather and afford it, it’s great.
8 Likes
Packing my suitcase….for spring and summer.
3 Likes
@abasket - seriously- please come visit! I recommend Summer in particular.
4 Likes
I think I posted something similar somewhere here recently, so forgive me if this is more or less a duplicate post.
When I initially retired, I thought it would be fun to move away from the general ares where I’ve lived since before high school. But, now I have my “retired friend group” and activities, in addition to my old friends, and some family fairly nearby, plus the rest of the “infrastructure” (docs, airports, etc.). I realize it would be harder to move elsewhere, especially since the kids are starting to talk about having kids. (I do not pressure them at all, and I would be happy if they waited a few more years, but it’s their life, and I will definitely be happy to be a part of grandkid’s life).
I also used to think I would be happy to move to an active adult community if we moved. I realize though that I really like seeing and hearing kids around, so I think a multi-generational community works better for me.
4 Likes
No one who lives in Scottsdale goes “downtown;” that’s where we send the tourists.
5 Likes
I love all these additional tips and perspectives!
Funny story about adding extra time to shopping trips because of all the ‘stop and chats’! The town next to mine has that exact vibe, but my area is pretty much cul de sac neighborhoods, connected by semi-busy roads that are not always safely walkable. We don’t have a downtown - rather Target and Wegman’s-based shopping centers.
It’s been fine for raising kids and my 70 home neighborhood has provided some wonderful friends - just would like a more accessible, extended community for next stage.
I hear you @ChoatieMom - I’m an introvert in many ways but as I look ahead that’s one of the reasons I do want an area with a lot of opportunities for human engagement. Makes creating the socializing balance easier.
4 Likes
I used to live in Davidson, NC, which has been suggested here. We were there for 1.5 years for a temporary assignment related to spouse’s job. My spouse loved it so much he wants to retire there. I enjoyed it, but would prefer to retire near children/grandchildren/family, which is about a 15-hour drive from there.
While the “downtown” (if you can call it that) is charming, I don’t know if it meets your definition of walk-able if you include groceries. But with the college there, we enjoyed lots of sports events, lectures, the arts, etc. My job required travel and the Charlotte airport is a major hub and made travel convenient. We did get snow a couple of times, but in general the climate is pretty moderate.
When I wasn’t traveling I could access most everything I needed within a pretty short driving radius, and expanding to the Charlotte metro area added even more options.
I did find many of the highways pretty congested. Even though I drove to/from the airport frequently, I always used my GPS because traffic/accidents could really impact travel time.
I also lived in Concord, NC for a time. Personally speaking, as an “outsider” (someone not from there) I found the town of Davidson much more welcoming than the city of Concord. I think because of the college there were more people from other places. Concord had a more insular feel to it.
5 Likes