<p>You say that you’ve repeatedly said to yourself at the start of a new semester that you’re going to turn things around. What different approaches have you tried, and how did things work out?</p>
<p>I’m having kind of a hard time figuring out what you mean when you say “confidence”. You seem to believe that you’re capable of taking lower-division classes and doing better in them than you’ve done so far, and that you’re capable of succeeding in a small liberal arts college – it sounds to me like you already have confidence.</p>
<p>Have you considered taking a year off to work? You can take some community college courses in your off-hours. Then come back and finish out where you are.</p>
<p>My husband did this. Three years into a major that wasn’t a good fit for him, he realized he wanted to do something completely different. (Completely as in majored in science, went to grad school in humanities.) He took a year off and worked in a bookstore in his home town, while taking some courses in his intended grad school area at his local open-admissions State U. </p>
<p>Came back more focused, finished out what he had to for his major but spent the rest of his time in courses relevant to his grad degree.</p>
<p>UMCP, I’m reading some of your other posts just now, and it hit me: you seem incredibly mature for your age, extremely self-aware, and just all around like a really tuned-in kid, who is also extremely articulate in writing about it. If you hadn’t said you were a junior, I’d think you were at least 40 years old, with the wisdom of someone who has had an extensive life (with challenges) already.</p>
<p>I don’t know why I wanted to tell you that other than it really stood out to me, for one; and two,I think not often enough people point out our strengths. Maybe you already know all I’m saying above, but in case you did not, I think you should know. </p>
<p>I don’t have great answers for your current situation but I did want to say, have you thought about a career working with people and taking courses that may relate to that direction? I could entirely see you making a fantastic therapist/clinical psychologist/school counselor, for example. </p>
<p>Oh the other thing I wanted to add is reading your situation as it is, you sound very much like an older “college-version” of the struggles faced by profoundly gifted children in elementary and HS (many of whom struggle to make the grade, despite having all the intellectual ability for it). I am sure you are gifted so that label is not new, but it’s interesting if it didn’t pose problems for you earlier on but might be hitting you now. I wonder if you were to read about the challenges they face and <em>why</em> (and more importantly, the solutions), you might see yourself in it and it may point to solutions that you can adapt for the college environment (whether it’s where you are now or finding the next place you need to be). A really great resource is this one:
[Hoagies</a>’ Gifted Education Page](<a href=“http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/]Hoagies”>http://www.hoagiesgifted.org/)</p>
<p>I too went to a school that I never really wanted to attend. I almost decided to transfer, but after going through the application process and being accepted as a transfer student, I decided to stick it out. For me, the decision to stay came down to the huge amount of time, energy, and money I had invested into my school experience.</p>
<p>You’re so close to graduating that I would recommend staying and finishing your degree. You’ve spent several years and countless hours working towards your degree, so you should at least be able to transfer some credits to a different institution. Also, you probably spent some effort meeting people, making friends, participating in school events, etc. that you would not want to throw away. In terms of sticking it out, there are many different options that can make it easier: taking a semester off, studying abroad, spending a semester at a different school, taking summer classes to ease your courseload during the fall and spring, counseling, and so forth. I would also suggest taking some classes just for fun. I personally took a few introductory art classes; they were all pretty interesting, surprisingly relaxing, and helped boost my GPA tremendously (easy A’s). Art classes are generally very engaging and interactive.</p>
<p>Also, small classes have their disadvantages. Professors notice every absence and often give more short-term (yet complex and tedious) assignments. In the tiny classes with under 10 students sitting around a table, you can’t go a few minutes without being quizzed on the new lecture material. Sometimes the professors seem to notice every yawn and every time you check your phone. Unless you absolutely love the material, the forced discussion and participation in most small classes get tiring.</p>
<p>^funny you would mention the thing about forced discussion/attendence/etc.
as being a NEGATIVE.</p>
<p>That would undoubtably help me immensely, to feel FORCED to go to class and keep up with the work and participate etc. Definitely part of the reason I do better in smaller classes.</p>
<p>starbright - thanks for the link. I wouldn’t call myself “gifted” in the typical sense, but I am definitely a perfectionist and over-sensitive so a lot of that rings true. Perfectionist with executive functioning difficulties is a recipe for disaster indeed.</p>
<p>umcp11: I think I will be in the minority here when I say follow your heart. Regardless of how many years you have already put in, you need to do what makes you happy. I have seen so many adults with degrees, working in a career that makes them miserable because they pigeon-holed themselves in their college days and felt like there was no way out. </p>
<p>You sound exactly like my son did about a year ago. He had spent about 4 years at a large university in the engineering program. He wasn’t doing so well - much of it his fault but some of it because he was extremely unhappy with his choice of major. What he thought was going to be interesting and exciting wore him down to the point where he was disillusioned and miserable. He became clinically depressed. He went to a coulselor on campus who sent him to a clinical psychiatrist who help him through the depression. He finally decided that he had had enough and talk with me about going to the local CC to take culinary classes - a passion of his since he was very little (instead of watching Sesame Street on PBS, he watched the Frugal Gourmet!) He is now finishing up his first year in culinary classes and is a changed boy! He is healthy, happy and finally feels like he is where is supposed to be.</p>
<p>Again I say follow your heart - if staying at your current school is making you miserable - leave! Will having the degree make you any happier, or will you spend more time feeling miserable? Regardless of whether you have the degree or not, you will be able to transfer credits. My son transfered all the core requirements to the CC so he could go right into the culinary classes. If possible, have a heart-to-heart talk with your parents. Talking it all out might help. Ultimately it is your decision and your life. No education is ever worthless, degree or not.</p>
<p>When we find ourselves in an unhappy situation, it’s very easy to get fixated on “the cure.” You’ve invested a lot of time and energy into the community college senario but I hope you’ll seriously consider the opinions of the vast majority of the parents here and let the idea go.</p>
<p>You need to be brutally honest with yourself. Will it really boost your confidence to take classes that you’ve already taken or a variation of them? To be competing against students younger and who have never been in college? Will it boost your confidence to go into debt, thereby limiting future choices? </p>
<p>Further, if you already have over sixty credits, you are not going to qualify for any financial aid at a community college. Being so far into your Junior year you are also not going to qualify to transfer to a lot of colleges. </p>
<p>Try substituting “community college” with “grad school.” Or a job. The best thing I ever did for my self confidence was leave college (this was after Freshman year) and work as a nanny/housekeeper. I supported myself and made my own way in the world. Twenty years later I’m still proud of how I went from dependent college student to independent woman so quickly. </p>
<p>Before you object, yes, it did restore my confidence in my academic ability as well. I found out that I am hard working person who can set goals and reach them. I went from someone who failed out of college prep math my Freshman year to returning to school a few years later and earning an “A” in College Algebra. When you stop accepting excuses from yourself, it makes you powerful.</p>
<p>If the originial poster had a specific passion he wanted to persue at CC, I’d be the first to encourage him to jump ship and go for it. But that’s not what I’m hearing from the OP. Vague ideas about building self confidence and believing that a “do over” at a different college would change the OPs life for the better are not the same thing as finally going for ones dream career.</p>