I know there are quite a few ‘struggling with college’ threads on here, but I couldn’t really find one that helped with my situation. I just recently transferred from a university I spent two years at to a university much more expensive and farther away. I can’t complete the degree I want at my old university, or else I definitely would not have considered transferring. I transferred away from all my friends and all the familiarity of my old city for the sake of the degree I want. I figured it would not be hard fitting into a new school environment, as I had no problems adjusting to life at my old university whatsoever.
However, that is not the case here. Whereas in my old university I was comfortable right off the bat, here I am miserable. I am having such a difficult time making friends and feel very lonely. In all honesty, I want to leave and go back to my old university, but my parents have graciously forked over a lot to give me the chance to go here and I do not want to disappoint them or waste the money they’ve been saving for me for years. If I drop out, I will also have to settle for a new degree which may take me several more years to complete. Obviously dropping out seems like a ridiculous option but I am just so miserable I am genuinely considering it and have even started asking people how to go about leaving.
If anyone has any advice I would really appreciate it.
A successful transfer requires patience, and energy. Many friendship groups are formed freshman year so it may take a bit of time to work your way into solid friendships. You will also have to get used to the campus and academic life of a new school where others are already in a routine. It can all be done, but it will likely require more time and effort than you needed when you were a freshman. So for now remember the reasons you transferred, put yourself out there with people you like, join clubs in things you are interested in, attend any activities for transfer students and make your new college work for you. Years ago I transferred to a school because it had far better academics in my area of interest – it wasn’t always easy and it wasn’t perfect but in the end I wouldn’t trade my experience at the school I moved to it for the world.
You have to prioritize your goals. This not a permanent move. Nothing is keeping you from staying in contact with people you enjoy from your old school. You can even invite them to visit you on breaks or go back there to visit. You have to decide if your particular degree is worth a (fast) two-year sacrifice. You will be free to seek summer and post-degree employment back in the old place. What is it worth to you? We can’t decide for you, but I think you are stronger than you know.
They probably have not have the Club/Activities Fair yet! See if you can get in touch with other transfers. Make study groups with people in your classes. Join clubs. Volunteer.
Be practical. You can’t expect your parents to pay for more years of college beyond your degree. So make the best of your current school. I don’t think transferring to yet another college is the answer either. Resign yourself to staying there. Accept it. I suspect your happiness is making you seem a little unapproachable. Go to the counseling center, which will at least give you a place to be. Get a campus job. You will definitely meet people. Say hi to familair faces in lectures. Ask someone who seems approachable for directions. This is tough, but do not hide in your room, it will make things worse. Good luck.
What is your major? What was the closest major at the old school?
Sometimes students think that they exactly have to major in what they want as a final job. ie. If you want aerospace engineering, you think you have to major in aerospace engineering when something like mechanical is not only acceptable but common.