I did not enjoy my college years. I had been very happy during HS, with lots of friends (I’m still in touch with most of them) and a BF. I went to a college I had never laid eyes on, that had a strong Greek system that I felt queasy about. I never, ever felt like I fit in. My college also had numerous special schools – journalism, music, education, tech – so I couldn’t dabble in something in which I had an interest, because people who were going to be professionals had already taken up those spots. I also didn’t get the support I needed in my technical classes and wound up majoring in something totally liberal artsy instead of the science I had planned on majoring in. I was tremendously relieved to be done with college and able to start real life – and live without roommates.
I had fun in college, but I didn’t peak there. It was a great experience for me because I learned a lot about American cultural, but I was insecure and unsure of myself. I think I really came into my own when I started working on Wall Street. Some may say it was an environment that was oppressive to women and minorities, but I felt as long as I was performing it didn’t matter who I was. I also had a lot more disposal income after college and traveled a lot.
I worked ~25 hours a week all through grades 10-12, and had a 1.5 hour daily commute on subways to get to high school. Most weekdays started at 7am and I didn’t get home until 8pm.
When I got to college and no commute any longer, 10 hours work-study/wk and financial aid + loans was heaven! Some semesters I took 20 credit hours and it seemed easy compared to high school.
College was good but PhD grad school was great - interesting work, learning for its own sake, free to set my own schedule for the most part, plus a support.stipend. My stipend was about $7200/year and I thought I was rich. PhD students today get five times that much.
However, I will say that both college and grad school look better in retrospect than they did at the time. At the time there were exams to study for, papers to write, classes to attend, and a lot of lab work to do. Compared to the 35 years of career and family work that came afterward it was a pretty carefree existence. But at the time it seemed like there was always some hassle or chore hanging over my head - always another obstacle to overcome.
In my daydreams I’m carefree and rich enough to never have to worry about a finishing a degree or having a career, and so I can just be in grad school forever - reading books, learning interesting stuff, taking courses I want, doing fascinating and rewarding research, traveling to conferences, living in a college town environment, spending time with smart and witty friends, and just enjoying life.
I would say I hated it … but to hate something you generally need to have a clue what’s going on and I didn’t have a clue! I already had a out-of-town GF so I didn’t care about the social scene. I tend to get obsessed with a topic that’s interesting and only focus on that, so EE school in general wasn’t interesting. I’d go on probation then off and then on again. Strangely enough, the only saving grace was UT-Austin’s excellent engineering and physics libraries. They had row after row of the latest journals (all the IEEE and physics journals) and backed that up with books going way back. I probably spent more time there than anyone else (along with too much time in dangerous bars in SE Austin playing pool!).
Final note. I was never a Steve Jobs fan but I did like his Stanford commencement address, particularly the part about making “dots” and not worrying about how they’ll connect. All the time I spent in the UT libraries ended up paying off tremendously in the end.
There are aspects of my life right now that I really love, mostly involving my kids. But college was definitely a high point. 90% of the freedom of being an adult with 10% of the responsibility. Sure I was broke, but I was also happy drinking $2.50 pitchers of Busch Light and eating free chips at the bar. For $5 I was fed, entertained and hammered.
My idea of a good time has changed, and I’m sure if I suggested to my wife we go out for pitchers of Busch Light she would tell me to knock myself out and take an Uber home. But at the time I was living large.
Right before I left for college, my mom had “the talk” with me. The two takeaways - 1) guys only want one “thing” so stay away from them. 2) college will be the best 4 years of your whole life. It’s strange to look back on that now and think that she was in her early 40s and still thought her college years were the best. Once I had kids, THOSE became the best years of my life. Hands down.
I loved my high school both academically and socially - Harvard didn’t live up to it. It was okay. So I don’t worry too much about dream colleges. I think part of it was Harvard, but part of it was me, figuring out how to get the best out of it. Senior year was best. I had a great gap year before college and a great gap year after college. Was completely miserable in grad school (academically great, socially horrible) and loved my 20s. Love my 30’s. Midlife crisis in my 40s which was actually a lot of fun. No complaints about my current life.
LOL! I had a great time in college. I was only a marginal student but I was great at being a student. I was a student government officer and freshman week orientation team member. I knew tons of people, and a whole bunch more knew who I was because of the student govt. work. It nearly drove my much loved, and much more studious, roommate and friends mad. They were forever helping me through the late nights and overdue papers. Forty years on, I am still amazed that I managed to graduate and get to call that place my alma mater, and those college friends, my friends
Best time in my life? Probably not. But clearly up there in the Top 100 or so.
I would describe freshman year as “one of the best” years of my life. I loved the freedom, making my own choices etc. Sophomore year and junior year also good but not that newness and freedom of freshman year. I adored our dorm floor and though I generally don’t have a great memory about things I have LOTS of memories of freshman year.
By senior year I was over it though. My boyfriend (now H) was at school an hour away and I was just done with the college scene. I ended up staying the summer between junior and senior year to take 1 or 2 needed classes so I could graduate early (December) and get the heck out of dodge. By that point due to many circumstances most of those early friends were already gone. Didn’t have any interest in attending graduation.
I also would not put the pressure on any young person that college is meant to be the best time of your life. For many it just isn’t!
I don’t know. College was a lot of fun, exciting…but stressful. I was so busy. Getting an engineering degeee (had to be in four years or I’d lose my pilot slot), working a great deal, very involved in ROTC, slotted for a career with only about 1.5% other women, so there was a huge amount of pressure. Guess you can do that when you’re young, but it would have given me a nervous breakdown now. I remember being so busy that I would change in or out of my military uniform while driving on the freeway. Pants, shirt, socks and shoes, it can be done.
Excitement, challenge and responsibility. But so much stress!
No. I had liked HS and had quite a few leadership roles.
I chose the wrong U for the wrong reasons. It was heavy with Greek and I joined a sorority.
I was raised poor and had worked since I was 15. I was the only one in my sorority house of 60 who
had a job. It was here that I first learned that I came from a low income family and the disadvantage of that situation. (I had not seen an ocean at the age of 19)
I then transferred to a huge state U and was happier but never made any lasting friends. Graduated in 3.5 years. I did enjoy and excel in grad school for a Masters. Loved what I was studying.
Returned to a different U for a PHD after 5 years and hated being poor again and the program.
Stayed through half of the degree and moved on.
I hated every day I spent at the commuter college my parents’ financial profligacy doomed me to attend. Even with maximum loans, I couldn’t afford the private schools I got into. I got through the time by working hard and dreaming of law school. I LOVED law school. It was the educational experience I had craved and I met my husband there. I have not one friend from college days, I didn’t attend graduation and I never even bothered to pick up my diploma. The only thing college accomplished for me was to be a 4 year waste of time, money and energy before law school. I wished every minute that I could have gone straight to law school and that the old way of apprenticeship to learn law still existed.
I absolutely loved my college years. After feeling “other” for pretty much my whole life, I found happiness in college. I stumbled a bit at first, since I was not the most socially hip person in the room (I went to an engineering school, so saying I struggled socially there should tell you how much I had to figure out). But I found my place in that world, and it allowed me to bloom. I met my H & my best friends. H loved his time there, as well. Our kids grew up knowing how much we loved college, and both hoped they would find something similar after not fitting in during high school. Neither found that, though. I know our experience wasn’t what everyone has, and I am grateful for it.
It was absolutely magical for me. The best years of my life. DH lived on my hall; we’ve been together since week one. Those precious memories make my heart feel full and sometimes choke me up. I’d do it over again in a heartbeat. We’re going back next month for DH’s 40th reunion. Can’t wait! There’s no place like Ann Arbor in the fall. Go Blue!
I loved college because of the friends and parties and social activities. I breezed through HS academically and was a little taken aback at how much harder college classes were. I had to work pretty hard for a B. I dated a guy for more than two years but broke up before I graduated in 3-1/2 years. (I had stayed for summer school because I didn’t want to go home.) I haven’t been back to my college town since graduation day in December 1979, and I haven’t seen my old BF since that day, but I think of him often, even though I have no desire to be with him. The guys all played intramural sports on a team with a catchy name. When I got on Facebook several years ago, I searched the team name just for fun and found that a classmate had created a group for us. It was fun to share some pictures and connect again. And no, the old BF is not part of the group. We were all poor. My grandparents paid my tuition, room/board, and a small allowance for personal items. I think the bill was about $2500 per semester!
Due to my family’s financial situation at the time, my only option was to attend a community college and then transfer. I decided I would love it - and I did. The cc was (fortunately) a good school and I made a lot of friends there and found a good social life. By the time I transferred, I was quite confident socially and ended up pledging a sorority and being very active on campus right away. I loved every minute
Like someone upthread, I also wanted my own kids to love college as much as I did. We were able to send them wherever they wanted, they both attended their top choices and…neither one was that happy (although they both thrived academically). One ended up transferring after the first year, still never loved it.
@Lindagaf@FallGirl It is nice to hear that starting at CC and commuting all 4 years can still provide a fun experience. We’re preparing all of our kids for 4 year residential college, but some may choose to do CC or commute.
