I loved college. Fell in love with the college town and ended up staying. I also really loved my 30s. I probably look back on those two times in my life the most fondly.
I loved college! Still keep in touch with many of my sorority sisters. I actually chose my school soley because it was the cheapest option (I was accepted to my “dream” Villanova…then saw the financial package - yikes!). I was poor growing up, thankfully 1987 was a time where I could pay for my entire college, living on campus, by waitressing summers since i was 16 and working PT through college. I still managed to have a lot of fun and graduated with a great GPA. My son is a sophomore at my alma mater - it was his top pick and so far so good!
Although I liked my classes, socially my college was not a good fit. I liked MBA school much more - a ton of fun socially, smart, interesting people, interesting classes, etc. Luckily my kids have made better choices - they love their colleges - both socially and academically.
I took lots of classes on the humanities subjects. Lots of reading & writing. No fun at all to stare at a blank sheet of paper in my Smith-Corona typewriter and know I had to write 6 pages of cohernt prose on a topic I didn’t fully comprehend.
On the other hand, it was the era when 18-year-olds could legally consume alcohol, so it certainly had its moments.
I absolutely loved college, even though it was often stressful. It was one of the highlights of my life. I regretted its end for a decade after graduation, until something better happened in my life. The something better was having a child.
My children are now well past college graduation themselves. Both had good experiences in college, but they were ready to move on to other things after graduation in a way that I was not. Perhaps this was because they knew people who had moved on from college to adult life, and I didn’t when I was that age. I was the first person in my family to go to college, and I had no mental picture of what might come afterward. That might have been my problem.
College was absolutely one of my best seasons of life as well. It was busy and I had to work a lot, often two jobs, in addition to classes, a sorority and other clubs but I loved the time there. Living at college was a great experience to teach you independence while still having a ton of people around you. I try not to hype it too much to my own kids but I hope at least one gets to have the relatively carefree life to learn about themselves and make their own decisions before heading to ‘the real world’
I made friends and tried various roles in college. I studied harder in law school than I had ever studied in my life. Sadly, most of the friends I made in those 7 years and I have not stayed in touch but it was nice to have companions at the time.
I didn’t meet H until 2 years after graduating from law school and starting my career. My kids seem to have done a better job of staying in touch with their college buddies and seem to have had mostly positive college experiences.
It was good. All the seasons of my life have basically been good, so I can’t say if it was one of the best? Maybe. I had met DH in spring of senior year and then went 2 hours away to a private college. I still saw him every weekend. My freshman roommate and I weren’t speaking to each other by second semester but otherwise I had a small group of good friends, loved taking organ lessons and everything there. I got married after two years there, moved back to close to home and took night school. That was fun too and saved a lot of money. I’m glad I got to do the residential college for a while but I don’t regret leaving it either.
No it was not. I dated the same/wrong guy all the way through and therefore did not expand my world socially. I worked PT and lived off campus. Never even went to a basketball game until after I graduated. So glad that I am able to contribute financially to my kids college to that that can actually enjoy it and still keep their grades up.
I actually remember my “employed and single” days after graduation much more fondly.
Oh yes, it was fabulous. UNC-CH. It was everything I wanted and imagined, and a lot I never would have dreamed of.
I think this is a very important and astute point.
Telling young people that college is the best time in their lives seems counterproductive.
Even if the young person has a terrific college experience, the idea that the best part of your life is over at 22 is a depressing one. And it’s not necessarily true. As the experiences of several people on this thread illustrate, a person who had a good experience in college can go on to have other good or even better experiences later in life.
Also, as the stories told here illustrate, some people do not have a happy experience at college, for a wide variety of reasons. It’s not helpful for them to think that they’re the only ones who aren’t having a good time or that they’re failing their families in some way by not enjoying these years.
Lost my parents at 20, so college years were up and down.
25-42 that was the peak for me. (Raising kids)
Now older with ailments, pains, surgeries I look back on those years with a fondness. Growing old sucks imo.
I absolutely agree with you about growing older. I had my last baby at 39, and have not been the same since. I’ll be 42 in November so I am holding out hope that I’ll get back to feeling normal again, but if this is just a glimpse to what’s to come, I’m not looking forward to it.
I loved college until midway through my junior year, when my boyfriend of over 6 years was killed in a car accident. After that, I just wanted to get through it.
College was a highlight for me. I met lots of great, interesting people and learned how to manage on my own in a new environment far from home. It wasn’t perfect to be sure, but it was exciting. Love and heart break and achievements and disappointments, all that happened. I was sad when it was over and wondered if I’d ever be as happy.
And then I went to law school, which I also loved. This was a different experience, more about the intellectual challenge and discipline than the people I met, but still a time of growth and change.
The last time I felt so happy in a place was when we lived in the Midwest and my children were young. That wasn’t always easy either. I didn’t know anybody at first, I was alone a lot, H had some serious health issues, but it was a time of great growth and change for me and my children. The last week we lived there I remember driving around my neighborhood, admiring the maple trees turning red, and trying not to cry. I hated leaving that town and all my friends.
All the seasons in my life have been pretty good, but some better than others. I am sure there is another peak coming up.
I’m sure there are lots of variations but the studies on happiness suggest that people tend to get happier after they pass middle age (I assume that is the age of the mid-life crisis). https://medium.economist.com/why-people-get-happier-as-they-get-older-b5e412e471ed In my case, that description is fairly accurate. I think it became good in college and grad school. Life then was more stressful as I was establishing myself in various careers and was dealing with kids’ issues (serious health problems; bright kids with serious learning disabilities, etc.). Even then, I was on a self-discovery path and things seemed to be trending up. Now everyone is doing well and our lives are good. But, college might be the high point for people until later in life.
One thing my wife observed was that when the males in our friend group experienced mid-life crisis, a number of the males either bought a nice sports car or traded in their wives for younger models. My wife was all in favor of my getting a sports car. She favored red (apparently the mid-life color of choice) but I got a souped up silver BMW, which is fun to drive. And we are still happily married.
I think one can have a great life in college (as H and I did) and still have a great life afterward - even with life’s ups and downs. The only time in my life I’d consider stressful enough to not want to relive is my younger years - specifically once my parents separated until I left for college and the chief reason is their fighting putting us youngsters in the middle. Fortunately I was able to spend a good bit of my time riding horses and escaping. Without that, I’m not sure I’d have survived. I suppose the good thing is I learned the bad things would pass and I could ignore a bit if I tried. I also learned if I didn’t like something, change it (when you can), so I deliberately changed my future as I could with choices I made. Ignore what you can’t change - or find an escape.
Once out on my own (college) and then with my life partner, we’ve enjoyed life. I wouldn’t mind reliving college years, child rearing years (esp 2006 when we traveled for three months), and current years. There are some choices I wouldn’t make again (did NOT have to see Vegas - could have spent that time in Death Valley exploring more), but overall, it’s been a terrific life from college on. Not every little thing that has happened makes the “terrific” list since we’re human and certainly aren’t perfect in what we say, do, or what happens to us, but overall there are no complaints.
Our mid life crisis should have us traveling again. We’re just on a delay at the moment with parental health issues.
After I transferred, college was hands down the best time of my life, followed by law school.
My education was the best thing that ever happened to me.
Yes you may be setting unrealistic expectations, but you can easily fix that by showing them this thread. They’ll see that for some, it’s the best 4 years, for some it’s the worst, and for most it’s somewhere in between.
I am glad my mother told me about how much she hated college (enough to give up a full ride) because it has given me some comfort as i have hated it so far too.
College, particularly graduate school, was life changing for me. I grew up poor in a small town with two mentally ill, but loving, parents. I was an average high school student, known more for my athletic skills than my academic potential. In college, I found a major I loved, excelled academically and was accepted to graduate school in Boston. I was awarded a scholarship that paid for my housing and 10 units of school a semester. I lived in a brownstone apartment with 4 other women, one of whom was my best friend from undergraduate school. I took a job at a fine dining restaurant, where the chef would cook me dinner every night. In graduate school I learned the skills needed for my profession, but my job bussing tables and checking the coats of wealthy customers taught me the social skills and manners needed to fit in with the middle and upper class.
So basically, I was living in an amazing city rent free with my best friend, studying a subject I loved, eating shrimp scampi and filet mignon for dinner, earning $60-$200 a night filling water glasses or helping rich, old ladies on with their fur coats, and sipping left over bottles of fine wine at the end of the night. Yes, it was life changing and yes, I’d love to give my own children that same experience.