<p>I sent out graduation announcements on monday and I sent a few to a part of my family that I hadn’t spoken to since i was about 8 years old (for the record they were the ones that cut off all contact with me, not the other way around). I thought it would be a good idea to do so.</p>
<p>Its a big deal for me, since I’m graduating 3 in my class (only two points short of being solutitorian). I thought it would be a good idea to send announcements to everyone i know.</p>
<p>I think if it felt like the right thing for you to do,then it was OK. Of course, I am one of those who can’t understand why adults would cut off contact with an 8yr old, but it’s that way in our family too. My D will be graduating near the top of her class too, and we are still trying to decide what to do with those invitations (the school hasn’t gotten them to us yet either…); her father hasn’t spoken to her since she began high school because he hates me and doesn’t approve of D’s choice of career (vocal performance- opera) , and her remaining grandmother feels the same about us. She knows that if she invites them, things will be very tense and could erupt into a real mess, ruining the evening for all of us, which includes her brothers, and only the youngest is on speaking terms with the others. Would it cause trouble if your relatives actually showed up at the ceremony? I hope you’ve thought that out fully so as to be aware of what might transpire. Did you talk it over with your parents? If not, now is the time, because they need to know and be prepared. If you haven’t done these things, your family may be angry or upset and they may have a right to be if they know more about what caused the intial rift than you do, so you may have to be ready to follow up by sending a letter to those other relatives explaining that you wished them to be included in your life and to celebrate this time with you, but that such a public occasions may not be the right time/place to bring everyone together and suggest that you would love to meet them sometime soon to “get to know them again”. All of these things occurred to me as I was writing this to you, and while I intially thought you were brave and right for doing as you did, I then began to wonder if you had told your immediate family and if you really knew the situation which caused the family to split. I still think you are courageous and admire you for wanting to make things right, but also want you to be prepared to have to deal with this in another fashion, and if that means having to tell the others that you acted on your own, then do so- you sound like a bright and well-meaning young person and if you have to meet them alone, even if it’s not on your graduation day, you will be able to do so and I wish you all the best. Please let us know how things turn out (PM me if you wish, I know what you’re going through…)</p>
<p>Sending out graduation announcements is fine. It is actually a nice gesture to reach out to the estranged family. BTW: it is “Salutatorian”. Being picky on the details can make the difference between #3 and #2.</p>
<p>You absolutely did the right thing, and the mature thing.</p>
<p>Bear in mind that you cannot control how other people respond. Whether their response is wonderfully positive, or discouragingly negative, or non-existent – know inside yourself that YOU did the right thing. That’s what matters.</p>