<p>So now that the “kids” are living in different cities, I’m looking for creative ways to stay in touch and maintain contact. The weekly-ish phone calls are fine, but beginning to feel somewhat pro forma - with a recap of the week’s headlines. What I’m missing is just some ordinary, mundane time together. I was thinking of maybe having a “coffee or lunch date”, where we each sat down in a coffee shop/at home/in a park with our lattes and smoozed as if we were having coffee together. Or a tv date, where we both are watching some silly reality show and can talk about it. The main thing I’m aiming for is some easy connection that we would have naturally if they lived nearby. So I’m wondering what other parents have found works. Thanks for your help!</p>
<p>Are you able to Skype with them? Not every call, but at least occasionally might be a nice habit to get into. Especially as they will be moving through life’s stages - marriage/partners, kids, etc.</p>
<p>Every now and then, we set up a phone conference call with all sibs at the same time. They have a lot to share with each other from different cities. For us, it’s a change of pace from talking with them each solo. We parents mostly just listen or throw out a question. We love it and could go for hours, but they limit it to 30 minutes - their lives run very busy.</p>
<p>I play Words with Friends with my son. Sometimes we send little comments through the chat feature. It’s a little like having a jigsaw puzzle going on in the house where we can both add a piece when we walk by. It’s not quality time but it’s just nice to have a game going.</p>
<p>Sometimes our D will call as she prepares her dinner and we will all continue chatting as she eats. Many times it is while we are also eating, and it feels like old times around the table.</p>
<p>I seriously doubt that my adult kids would go to a coffee shop…or even prepare it at home…to have a coffee date with me. </p>
<p>I’m thrilled they call us. We have a nice talk via Skype with the kiddo who is living out of the country, and nice cell phone chat with the one who lives 2000 miles away. We also send FB messages every so often.</p>
<p>Read the OP and it reminds me of the expression “what goes around comes around.” I miss my son so much and we can’t skype. I have taken to crossing days off on the calendar waiting for his contract to be over. I send old fashioned snail mail so he receives something from home every few days. I fill him in on everything from what we are doing at work to how his cousins are doing on their sports teams. We get a letter about every three weeks but he does call us every two weeks.</p>
<p>My mom and I watch a lot of shows together… not even necessarily at the same time, but we watch some of the same things so we can talk about them. We exchange recipes, too, so I end up calling a lot while I am cooking. We don’t schedule any calls, but we end up calling spontaneously to talk about something exciting in the show or something funny happening in the kitchen… She never calls me unless it’s an emergency because she feels afraid to “intrude,” but she’ll text and ask me to call if I feel like chatting.</p>
<p>You’ll have to think about what kinds of things you and your kids have in common that you could share in together, and then try to let those things flow naturally. My mom and I text every day and call frequently so for us that’s very easy to do, for other family’s that’s probably harder but I think it’s still doable.</p>
<p>Text and send silly pics from home often and they may/will sometimes do the same for you. (by often I don’t mean 5 times a day!) We are always sending pics/phone videos of the dog doing a new trick, a pic of a new dessert we made, “guess where I am” pics (of a place at home they love) - stuff that is just the everyday stuff that keeps us connected in simple ways and helps to add to as you put, the “recap of the weeks headlines” - it will be a sad day when I talk to my kids and only have the weather and work to discuss!</p>
<p>This may not work for everyone, but we have always been a “everyone knows what everyone else is doing” type family.</p>
<p>I text with my son and occasionally facetime on iPad. He calls H when he needs computer or bike help! He texts me pictures of his race results (running) when they are posted at the race and also of the weather page from his iPhone to show me how cold it is! My daughter (and her H) live in town, so we see plenty of them and she and I run together once a week or so.</p>
<p>We talk on the phone or Skype once a week or so. We also have an email “google group” for the family which we use to send messages/links that we (or the kids) think will be of interest to all involved. Resently some of the SOs had been added to this group as well.</p>
<p>All the kids use gmail as their primary email, and so do I. If I see them “available” on chat, I often ask or say something. Sometimes this evolves into a conversation. They also contact me sometimes through chat just to say hi or ask a quick question. Even just seeing that green dot light up next to the name often makes me feel more connected :).</p>
<p>I also use Google + to post stuff I think they may find interesting, and often they respond or just +1 the posts. I like it much better than Facebook. We are all friends on FB as well, but none of us is very active there.</p>
<p>I like emails. The other side might not be there, but hopefully they will see it eventually. Sometime we can catch them on cell and sometime not, but we are very busy family on both sides, parents and children. Neither are even at home except, always on a run, sometime with cell, most times not. This is the way we prefer, connected to our current surroundings, not so much to the rest of the world. So, emails are working fine most of the time with hopefully successful telephone call to follow up.</p>
<p>I feel very fortunate that all my boys are very good at calling; H says they inherited my telephone gene.
In between calls, we exchange lots of texts and pictures for the little stuff. Sporting events instigate a 5-way flurry of texts. My youngest is in an apartment this year and learning to cook so he often will send pictures of his new creations. </p>
<p>It always warms my heart when I tell one of the boys something about one of the other brothers, and they say they already know because they had spoken or exchanged texts.</p>
<p>^that really does warm a mother’s heart!! Your son’s sound like mine.</p>
<p>I’ve used a combination of these things to connect with DD while she’s away at college. She likes to call when she’s on her way to the bus stop (thank goodness for mass transporation!) We watch “Say Yes to the Dress” and “The Walking Dead” (… great combination… too bad there are no crossover episodes) at the same time in our respective cities and then we text each other during the commercials (“can you believe what her mother just said to her?”)</p>
<p>I also like to send occasional care packages and letters - there’s nothing like a package of Girl Scout cookies to say “I’m thinking of you,” and she always calls to say thanks. I’ve also found that I get a lot of calls when she’s trying out a new recipe or going through the refrigerator (“how long is milk good for?”) </p>
<p>When all else fails, I stalk her on Facebook to make sure she’s alive :)</p>
<p>I have two kids, and there’s a world of difference between him and her. My daughter calls nearly every day…she’s fine with your basic how was your day call. My son…nowhere near the frequency. But since he’s become engaged, we talk every 2 or 3 days instead of maybe every 5 pre-engagement.</p>
<p>We all ‘watch’ certain sporting events together, like Eagles games or Kentucky basketball…a constant barrage of texts among us. With D it’s also awful shows like Dance Moms with near continual texting. </p>
<p>I learned years ago with our son…call, let it ring a few times, then hang up. Not every time, but maybe every other or every third. Inevitably he calls back (it may take a day or two), maybe to make sure everything is OK? Also I always make it a point to have some interesting tidbit of local news or gossip to share.</p>
<p>my-3-sons…same here, but usually one knows about the other from Facebook rather than by talking or texting. Which is fine.</p>
<p>Dance Moms is my favorite minus the squaking part. But I am doing something else while TV is on, I may even go away while they are squaking. Girls are so talented and at such a young age, they all have great future, if they stick to dance and continue not paying any attention to adults beekering around them. They seem to be smart. Nobody in my family is watching the show, nobody is sharing and my cell stays in a car and it is turned off. I like to be disconnected, it is my H’s job to have his cell on him.</p>