We survived our parents

Parent Cafe
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<p>I read this today. Added a few things:</p>

<p>To all those who were born in the boomer years, or before:</p>

<p>First, we survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they were pregnant They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, tuna from a can, fresh fish from waters that probably alreay had mercury, and didn’t get tested for diabetes. </p>

<p>Then after that trauma, we were put to sleep on our tummies in baby cribs covered with bright colored lead-based paints. The slat spacing measurements didn’t matter, and our cribs and rooms were rather spartan. Some of us had our crib in a room with 2-3 other kids.</p>

<p>We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we
rode our bikes, we had no helmets, not to mention, the risks we took hitchhiking As infants & children, we would ride in cars with no car seats, booster seats, seat belts or air bags. I remember riding with one of my youger sisters bouncing on my lap. Ahd yeah, some of our mothers rode like Brittany with a baby (Heaven forbid) on her lap, or fast asleep in the floor of the car. Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. </p>

<p>We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle.
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this. We ate cupcakes, white bread and real butter and drank koolaid made with sugar–lots of sugar, but we weren’t overweight because…WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING ! </p>

<p>We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. No one was able to reach us all day.
And we were O.K. </p>

<p>We would spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and then ride down
the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem. We skated with no protection. We played in streets.</p>

<p>We did not have Playstations, Nintendo’s, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 150 channels on cable, no video movies or DVD’s, no surround-sound or CD’s, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or chat rooms…
WE HAD FRIENDS and we went outside and found them! We might have had one TV per household, with maybe 3 channels. </p>

<p>We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no
lawsuits from these accidents. We ate worms and mud pies made from dirt, and sand, and the worms did not live in us forever. Some of us were were given BB guns for our 10th birthdays, We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and, although we were told it would happen, we did not put out very many eyes. We put on shows, played dress-up, swam in creeks and swimming holes.</p>

<p>We rode bikes or walked to a friend’s house and knocked on the door or rang
the bell, or just walked in and talked to them! We didn’t call ahead, we just showed up, and all went out to play. Softball/baseball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn’t had to learn to deal with disappointment. And everyone who made the team didn’t always play. </p>

<p>The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke the law was unheard of.
They actually sided with the law! </p>

<p>Those generations produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and inventors ever! The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL! We had the luck to grow up as kids, before the lawyers and the government regulated so much of or lives, before we had to worry about prepping for the SAT in first grade (Who went to preschool then? Heck, some people went to half day kindergarten or no kindergarten.)</p>

<p>If YOU are one of them . . CONGRATULATIONS! Kinda makes you want to celebrate and run through the house with scissors!!</p>

<p>So what memories does this stir up for you? When life was simpler…</p>

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<p>no offense but this has been posted many times before & not all of us grew up in Leave it to Beaver households or communities
When I read the header my first thought was * Did we?*</p>

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<p>If you just added:</p>

<p>Some of our mothers had gone back to college and reentered the work force, and dads sometimes worked six or seven days a week.</p>

<p>… it would describe my childhood perfectly. Except for forgetting the brakes on the cart. We had a piece of wood we could drag on the ground…</p>

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<p>Well, we did, but those who didn’t, wouldn’t be reading this, would they?</p>

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<p>I think it is more than we survived * despite* our parents
I think parents today- don’t want their kids to just * survive* but * thrive*
I know I do. :)</p>

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<p>My parents did their best with the info they had, for the most part. My mom did not smoke, nor did she drink while pregnant. My dad was a chemist, and had a better idea of dangerous environmental chemicals then did most parents (we weren’t allowed to play in the Mosquito Man clouds). I’m glad we didn’t get into an accident when cars didn’t have safety belts; one kid in my neighborhood wasn’t so lucky–died at age 11–he didn’t go through the windshield, but the dashboard. I’m glad we have more information than before.</p>

<p>Articles which conflate safety belts and kidproof caps with drinking water out of the hose and eating white bread are just examples of lazy thinking.</p>

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<p>I find it hard to wax nostalgic about an era when</p>

<p>…kids were forbidden to take certain courses in school because of their gender.</p>

<p>…drunk driving was considered funny.</p>

<p>…sexual harassment was considered something that you just had to learn to live with.</p>

<p>…kids with physical handicaps often did not get to go to school at all.</p>

<p>…kids with learning disabilities were offered no help but instead labeled as stupid or lazy.</p>

<p>…divorce, homosexuality, and abortion were shocking secrets that could only be discussed in whispers.</p>

<p>…having a mother who worked outside the home was considered disreputable.</p>

<p>…having been born to parents who were unmarried was considered disgraceful for the child.</p>

<p>and most importantly…</p>

<p>…very few places were air conditioned! ;)</p>

<p>Yes, playing freely outside with lots of neighborhood friends was wonderful. For a single year of my childhood, I lived in the kind of neighborhood where that happened, and it was great. But it didn’t happen everywhere even then, and it’s not necessarily the most important thing in a young person’s life.</p>

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<p>For years, my Dad smoked so much the curtains in our house were brown and reeked. … The only vegetables we ever had (other than potatoes) were out of a can. I was an adult before I saw actual fresh spinach, as opposed to the black glob of canned slime I was used to. … We drank whole milk because that was our only option. … Sometimes I had 3 or 4 of what I called “waxed donuts” for breakfast and considered that just fine. … Dad cursed like a mule-skinner, but didn’t allow the same out of my mouth or my sister’s. … My parents worked long hours, then came home and often drank themselves to sleep. … They were totally flawed, our lives were totally flawed. Yet, I felt totally loved. … I guess there’s no single right way to be a good family, be it the 1950s, '60s, '70s, or now.</p>

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<p>Sunny Florida, it’s a pleasure to read this again, whether or not it’s been posted before. There were 7 children in our family; we were quite poor by “Leave It To Beaver” standards, but we didn’t know it. Nevertheless, I look back at that time with fond memories.</p>

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<p>I’ve always found it funny how people equate playing outside to being such a better lifestyle than the computer age of today. If we were to follow that logic, I’d say that when kids worked on farms and actually contributed to the family, life was so much better.</p>

<p>Oh well, childhood is always nostalgic and the “best time of our lives”, so I don’t expect any of you parents to change your views on technology. I have my own prejudices against the horrible television shows that kids must watch these days.</p>

<p>Just remember: computers, videogames, tv, and cellphones turn you into antisocial people who are a menace to society, right…</p>

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<p>To add to what Marian posted:</p>

<p>I am not at all nostalgic about an era in which segregation was legal, it was normal for no people of color to be on TV, magazines, etc. or to be on only as objects of derision. </p>

<p>That also was a time in which it was OK to avoid hiring or admitting women strictly because of their gender.</p>

<p>And rape was considered a crime that women brought on themselves.</p>

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<p>When I was 8 or 9, I didn’t know about injustice, prejudice, alcholism, wage inequity or anything else some posters are fulminating about. My childhood was long on fun and short on money. About one in ten of my classsmates were children of either Japanese or Chinese immigrants whose families has been in California as long as my family had. My best friend’s last name was Bejarano. My mother went back to school and earned a college degree when I was 7, and then worked full time. I had a great childhood. What’s wrong with being nostalgic about that? Should I feel retroactively guilty that I wasn’t miserable?</p>

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<p>Stop romanticizing the past at the expense of the present. </p>

<p>I was worried the whole thread was going to be in support of the OP, but phew.</p>

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<p>So who, exactly, is depriving today’s children of the experiences about which you are reminiscing?</p>

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<p>“Retroactively guilty that I wasn’t miserable”… I love that.</p>

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<p>“Should I feel retroactively guilty that I wasn’t miserable?”</p>

<p>Of course not. You should thank your lucky starts that you were so fortunate.</p>

<p>I just wish that when people start reminiscing about the “good old days” that they’d also realize that it’s not a universal truth that everyone who grew up in the U.S. in the 50s or 60s had a happy childhood. I used to cringe when I saw the title “Happy Days” of that old TV show because I don’t remember those days as happy at all. Despite the current problems, I much prefer the present time.</p>

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<p>Northstarmom, I hear you clearly, and agree. Somehow this mantle of “perfect world” has fallen on the post-war era. I know that wasn’t the reality of my parent’s upbringing. My own family was unusual – we started close to poor (family of four in a really tiny rented 4-room house), and ended up upper-middle class as my father was promoted and my mother started teaching. I know how lucky I was.</p>