<p>I need some advice for buying a wedding present for my cousin. The wedding’s in about a month and I am a bridesmaid. I’d like to get something special. I feel like as a bridesmaid I should and she’s also much more like an older sister than a cousin (both her parents are dead so the rest of my extended family’s kind of adopted her). I have a very limited budget really, though. I am in college, not working right now, and have a finite amount of money in the bank to spend for the rest of the year. I know traditionally for a wedding you’re supposed to cover your plate, but as a bridesmaid I’ve already had to pay for my dress, alterations, and very specific shoes, as well as time in the hotel room (and a shower gift). Is there a “traditional” sort of gift that a bridesmaid gives? My mom is giving a substantial amount of money…</p>
<p>When my younger sister got married, she had a sheet set pattern picked out & REALLY wanted a dust ruffle (that was VERY expensive). I bought the sheet set pattern she chose & made her a dust ruffle, which she loved & was in my budget.</p>
<p>Another friend made me a sampler that we keep in our kitchen, commerating our wedding. My brother made me a gorgeous wedding album with photos he took. Making something special new home for her would likely mean a lot & doesn’t have to cost a great deal–a quilt? Vase? Special pillow for the living room?</p>
<p>Give from your heart. Don’t worry about spending a certain amount of money.</p>
<p>One thing that I like to give as a wedding gift is a romantic picnic basket. These can cost a bundle if you buy them pre-made. But if you put one together yourself, you can control the cost: nice basket, fabric table cloth, two napkins, cool-looking plastic wine goblets (2), nice plates (2) -they make some nice plastic ones now, flatware for 2 and a nice bottle of wine and a corkscrew. You can make the tablecloth and napkins yourself if you’re really feeling thrifty. If your budget allows, you can add: napkin rings, thermos…</p>
<p>Alternate idea which cost almost nothing in $ and cents. The best gift I ever gave was to a friend I’d had for … ahem… 50 years on her 54th birthday. I took a beautiful blank journal book and made a title page “50 Memories for 50 years.” Each page was a different memory from our childhood, teen years, after we’d met our husbands and done things as couples, of our parents… Some were funny, some poignant, random order - just as the thoughts came to me.</p>
<p>Pages at the end were left blank for the “next 50 years.”</p>
<p>Since you are so close and - if you know the fiance well also - you could do something similar. They will get nothing else like it. You could also include photos.</p>
<p>Does she have a registry at Target Club Wedd or something like that? Buy them one of the more inexpensive gifts from the bridal registry. Or just give them 40 bucks.</p>
<p>Just as a side note: She’s legally blind. So she can see a bit but photo albums are probably not the best idea (too bad, I love putting photos together!)
Also, her matron of honor was talking about the whole covering your plate idea… I guess generally at a wedding you’re supposed give a gift or money that covers the cost of your plate – $100-$150. She’s doiong this very traditionally. So I’d rather not use money or the registry just because I can’t afford to cover a plate and that makes it so obvious. I’ll try to find something nice I can make I guess…</p>
<p>Leave all the standard stuff out. Forget the "supposed to"s. HImom hit it right on the nose: Scrapbook, already all put together–absolutely an incredible gift. And this is not formal stuff btw:</p>
<p>Contact both sets of parents & see if you can scrape together some growing up pictures, show them “as they were.” Include anything of special interest to them–newspaper clippings, bits of school playbills, especially if you can find some evidence of how they met. Go to a warehouse store like Sam’s Club or BJ’s and pick up a multi pack of disposable cameras to entrust to others in the wedding party to take candids at the reception, get them developed & put in the scrapbook. Be sure to tell your picture takers to get pictures of all sorts of people (not just the people they know). Put in the scrapbook any and everything from the wedding–the invitation, the menu at the reception (the caterer should give you that), any favor sort of thing, like printed matchbooks (that’s a bit dated-LOL- but it used to be standard along with printed cocktail napkins), one of the little bags of rice or birdseed, or bubble kits they give out nowadays. If there’s a printed program for the church service, include that. Be sure to include all the newspaper announcements. Finally, set aside some space for honeymoon snapshots, and if you know where they’re going get some promotional material from the hotel/resort/whatever.</p>
<p>This isn’t a present to give at the wedding, obviously, but don’t worry about it. There is so much going on that day your cousin will be happy that it arrives a month or two later when she has time to really appreciate it!</p>
<p>I remember also making pillow shams & buying inexpensive pillows from Ross (or similar), to match their bedroom decor. It’s not that tough making pillow shams & my sister was touched because she knows I’m not a great seamstress but knew she wanted it but thought it overpriced.</p>
<p>For the scrapbook, even if the bride is legally blind, many CAN see more than you might think. In any case, her husband and loved ones can describe the scrapbook & photos & memorabilia to her. It is also nice to have several pages loved ones can sign in on that you can add to the album with lots of different colored pens–they can just autograph or write a personal message. We did that for several of our family parties & I put together a scrapbook after each & gave it to the guest honor. I bought a regular 3-ring notebook with clear sleeve you can insert a title or favorite photo, used dry-adhesive from the art department of office supply store, acid-free paper & clear plastic sleeves from Costco.</p>
<p>The $ amount is TRULY not nearly as important as the thought behind it! If your friends are more info hiking/camping, you might put together a romantic picnic backpack (instead of basket), with similar contents + a mat to sit/lie on. Let your imagination run wild but not your pocketbook! Friends know & understand that we all have financial constraints. Weddings are NOT fund-raising events, but celebrations!</p>
<p>wedding presents on a young adult budget that were huge hits back in the dark ages when it was me w/lots of love and no money:</p>
<p>2 painted wine/champagne glasses
Their wedding invitation, in a beautiful frame
a crystal wine decanter (on sale, lovely ones are available for $50 or less)</p>
<p>The photo albums/scrap books/memory book ideas are great–but not for someone who’s legally blind! But even if she can’t see it, she’ll love her wedding invitation in a silver or fine china or other really gorgeous frame…there are many, many to choose from in the $30 to $50 range…</p>
<p>YOur heart’s in the right place…pick out something she’s likely to have for years, even if it’s small, that she’ll think a thought of you when she uses…another example: do they ‘do’ Christmas? If so, check out the fine china/silver/crystal “first Christmas together” ornaments…they’re gorgeous, expensive (for ornaments–$40 or $50 or so) and very “memory-laden”…</p>
<p>Hey, everyone has a choice of what type of celebration they want & can afford. Some weddings request no gifts or donations in the name of the couple to their favorite charity. I know folks who have just had very simple celebrations, including one who had a potluck supper in the park, another just had cake & punch, while others have had lavish mulit-course meals with many hundreds of guests. It is the couple & their family that decides how lavish or not they want the celebration–the guests are just there to help show their support and love for the couple (at least in my universe).</p>
<p>Along the personalized lines you’ve suggested–you can even order engraving (if it’s within your budget), to make the gift even more special, though of course not necessary.</p>
<p>Hm…yes, she’s definitely decided to make it traditional and fancy. I’ve taken some classes in metalworking and I might try to make her a really gorgeous bracelet if I can find somewhere to do it (my sewing abilities are very sadly subpar). Is that too much like a regular gift or would it be okay for a wedding? I’d probably get something else small for the “family” (or else trust that my mom’s gift had the groom’s side of things covered).</p>
<p>You might consider making matching His & Hers bracelets or key chains? Newlyweds tend to like “couples” gifts, that will remind them how in love they are & of their friendship with you. I’m sure they’d cherish whatever you make – a gorgeous bracelet sounds great & maybe a matching key chain for him that repeats something you have on the bracelet?</p>
<p>If she has limited vision, how about a auditory gift? I’m thinking perhaps you can get family and friends to record a special message or narrate a memory, then transfer all these messages onto a CD disk with her favorite songs or music that have special meaning meshed in between messages. It’s kind of the picture album idea gone auditory. And, you should be able to put this together on just about any computer with a disk burner for just about zero dollars.</p>
<p>Practical gifts - sounds completely boring, but they’ll use them all the time:
*Nice towels (think big, fluffy, and squishy)
*A nice set of sheets - sateen or whatever
*If they are starting off a house, a set of matching plates, glasses, etc would be great - 8 plates, salad plates, salad bowls, and a matching serving bowl could be very nice
*Placemats, tablecloth, etc - maybe a nice runner (one of the linen ones - Lenox has some pretty ones) and matching or coordinating tea light holders</p>
<p>The not-so-practical but within budget:
*Pair or champagne flutes - you can get some nice ones from Lenox for about $20 each (when on sale) - just shop around for the sales
*Those silver nesting flutes that make a heart when you put them together - give BEFORE wedding so they can toast each other in them
*silver candlesticks
*again, pre-wedding stuff - serving set of knife and spatula - in silver - so they can cut the cake with it
*centerpiece/salad bowl - Crate and Barrel sometimes has some great ones for about $40 - really lovely glass - and maybe a nice pair of wooden serving spoons for it
*house stuff, like a floor lamp, Foreman grill, serving utensils (spatulas, slotted spoons, basting spoons, all in a container for easy access - of course, you can add in fun stuff like a pepper mill or a cheese grater)</p>
<p>The sensual:
*massage oil, essential oils, maybe one of those essential oil diffusers
*blue garter belt (Victoria’s Secret sells them) - it’s something new and blue, all in one</p>
<p>Are you a crafter? How about getting a simple Christmas ornament and painting their names on them, with their wedding date? and then from: Get a bright color, and even if she can’t see it clearly, the color and shape will let her know what it is. Those handmade ornaments are the ones that always go ont he tree first. If they are not Christian, then make something that they can pull out on another holiday. Since you feel so close to her, I wouldn’t get her something disposable, but something that would keep up the memories. Another idea - how about her wedding invitation done in braille over the real one, and framed? That way, they both can “see” it. And don’t worry about covering the plate. It appears your mother is doing that already for you, as well, so just give her something that comes from the heart and lasts, so everytime she takes it out she will remember you and her wedding.</p>
<p>When I got married (100 years ago!) one of my friends turned the invitation into a wall hanging…somehow they made the invitation look old and then framed it. I still love it. It didn’t even dawn on me at the time that it was a gift given by someone on a budget but the gift giver was a student so I am sure that was the case. There are so many craft oriented websites out there that I bet you can find one that will give you some suggestions of how to frame the invitation in a special way.</p>
<p>The scrapbook idea is wonderful as well. I was given one for my fiftieth birthday and was so touched by the effort and the result.</p>
<p>I like elleneast’s idea. I have heard of similar ideas. You could do this and still do your metalwork (ie: instead of a bracelet, you could make matching necklaces for both- buy 2 chains and make matching charms that could be baubles for the chains).</p>
<p>Practical gifts sometimes are very appreciated- towels, sheets, coffee maker,etc.</p>
<p>One thing I’ve done is to find out where the newlyweds are going on their honeymoon and I have called ahead and had a basket of cheese/crackers/snacks with a bottle of wine/champagne delivered to their room.
It’s there when they arrive and it’s something a little different. Nice little snack if they don’t care to leave the room :)</p>
<p>laxmom’s idea is very cute. I would scap the idea though if they are going to an all inclusive or if you want them to have something tangible from you. They will remember the basket that you sent to them on their honeymoon for many years to come! It really is a lovely and romantic idea.</p>