<p>I could use your help… I have a bunch of weddings coming up and I’m not sure what to do as gifts… </p>
<p>My one buddy from college is getting married in May… We were really good friends back when we were in college (I graduated four years ago) but now I see him and his fiance maybe once or twice a year… I do still talk to him online occasionally…</p>
<p>My cousin is getting married in June… we’re really not that close… i can count the times I’ve seen her in the past five years on 1 finger… I do talk to her online from time to time… but we’re just really not that close at all…</p>
<p>One of my other friends from college is getting married in August… I haven’t seen him since college but we do still talk via e-mail and he invited me to the wedding… </p>
<p>One of my co-workers is getting married in August as well… I am pretty good friends with her and we do hang out from time to time outside of work… she also does my hair… </p>
<p>Two of my best friends are marrying each other in September… I’ve known them since freshman year of college and still hang out with them at least once a month… which is quite the feat, being that we live over two hours apart… </p>
<p>I have a hard enough time trying to figure out what to get when one person is getting married… and now i have 5 weddings to account for! I just don’t know… are there rules for things like this? If you are best friends with both people getting married, does that call for more of a gift? if the bride is a relative? if it’s someone you haven’t seen in years? etc…</p>
<p>if anyone has any suggestions please let me know!!!</p>
<p>2) Search for your friends’ names on the right-hand side</p>
<p>3) They’ll probably be registered somewhere, and it’ll probably show up there.</p>
<p>Often with weddings, your bride-and-groom friends will tell you exactly what they want because they’re going to be setting up their households when they get married. It makes gift-buying a lot easier.</p>
<p>You can go in with a few other wedding guests to buy a gift, if you’d like, or you can get them an appropriately-priced gift according to how much you want to spend on them, or you can get them a gift card to a place they’re registered.</p>
<p>But you can get them a gift that’s not on the registry, if you think it’ll be more meaningful to them. One of the nicest gifts my husband and I got was a bottle of Port, along with an essay on the history of cork and of Port, from one of my good friends from college. He had traveled the world, following the second voyage of Vasco de Gama, shortly after graduation, right before grad school. He packaged the bottle of Port in a lovely box with a 25th anniversary card, and instructions to keep it in a safe place until our 25th anniversary. It was the neatest gift we got, and we haven’t even opened it yet.</p>
<p>Pick a price point for each wedding. Since you are less than 5 years out of school and in these tight economic times you need to take in consideration what it will cost you to go to the weddings in terms of travel, hotels, bridal showers. You might want to go in with your parents for the cousin’s wedding gift. Go to each couples’ gift registry- the early bird gets to have the greatest selection for each price range. You don’t have to always give meaningful gifts,you being there on their happy day will be meaningful enough.</p>
<p>What about picture frame? I could never get enough picture frames, I have them all over the house. Some are made of wood, silver, jeweled… You could spend as much or as little as you want.</p>
<p>Here’s some good advice as far as wedding gift obligations go, including the surprising (to me) assertion that no gifts are required at all if one attends a wedding; gifts are given at the bridal shower instead.</p>
<p>I would recommend finding out where the couple is registered and purchasing a gift according to your closeness to each couple and in line with your budget, even if it’s just a token.</p>
<p>I’ve noticed a bit of a backlash against registries. Some couples don’t have them at all, while others register at sites such as <a href=“http://www.kiva.org%5B/url%5D”>www.kiva.org</a> and <a href=“http://www.heifer.org%5B/url%5D”>www.heifer.org</a>.</p>
<p>Enjoy all the wedding preparations - they can be a lot of fun, and one day you might have the good fortune to put to good use what you’ve learned.</p>
<p>Agree with a lot of stuff said so far…but I think for your closest friends you need to go for more of a gift. It doesn’t have to be more expensive, but since these are people you really care about, something more thoughtful will be really appreciated and you’ll enjoy giving the gift more. For example when I was Best Man in the wedding of two of my best friends, I bought each of them individual, personalized gifts. Combined they were cheaper than getting them something good off of their registry, but I know that they’re things they’ll use and think of me. </p>
<p>The one other thing I’ve done too for another couple is making use of the whole “I’ve got one year to give you a wedding gift” rule. As it got closer to their first anniversary, I sent them a nice bottle of champagne to help them celebrate. They really enjoyed the gesture.</p>
<p>I don’t have a lot of money- and I never registered any place- so I don’t think of it.
These days * no one* has any money- and I think that can open the door to being creative.</p>
<p>For your two best friends- how about an " old fashioned" scrapbook of photos of mutual friends- celebrations? You or someone else could add to it with candid shots taken in the days before the wedding ( and you could add personal notes- as if you were writing it to their child- only if you think that would be appreciated)</p>
<p>College friends are hard- I would want to get something personal- but not a knicknack and not more than I could afford.
If they like wine- a really nice bottle- maybe a book that they never remembered to return along with the authors latest work.
Concert tickets?
I tend to not want stuff- so I don’t think of it
Go in with some other friends and get them a nice picnic basket with tins of fancy smoked stuff & a blanket to sit on and fill out a card for their 6 mo anniversary that says they can use it indoors if needed-
you could go all out, with candles ( they are sure to get candleholders) and some polished silver from Goodwill.
If it is all clean and in good shape it isn’t shabby it is * vintage*
;)</p>
<p>Do you know the plans of each couple? A lot of couples getting married are in temporary housing and have little space. You may mean well but sending someone who lives in a studio apartment a gift that takes up a lot of room may not be a good idea. If it’s probable that they will move within a year or two, giving them something that it will cost a fortune to ship may be unwise as well. </p>
<p>My kid’s getting married this summer. Traveling to the wedding and staying in a hotel will be a considerable expense for many of their friends from school. One of their wedding registeries is at a wine shop. They both like wine, but they added it in part to give guests strapped for cash the chance to buy a wedding present for $10-12. If you have a group of friends who are going, you can all chip in and get them a subscription to one of those “wines of the month” clubs. </p>
<p>Do look for the registeries. If they don’t show up on wedding channel, google their last names + wedding. Many young people include some items under $25–things like muffin pans, cookie sheets, measuring cup sets, etc. </p>
<p>While I have mixed feelings about it, another popular gift is a DVD set of the couple’s favorite TV show. People are staying in more because of the economy. </p>
<p>I live in NYC and many of the people I buy wedding presents for live here too. I give gift certificates to the discount theatre ticket booth. I’ve never had someone complain! It’s a spur of the minute night out with someone else footing the bill. If you know the couple likes movies, many movie theater chains offer gift certificates too. </p>
<p>If you want something more lasting and the couple isn’t going to move any time soon, I think nice drinking glasses are a good gift. I’m not talking Waterford, but more Pottery Barn/Crate and Barrell level. Everyone can always use nice glasses.</p>
<p>For the most part, they are pretty good as far as the housing situation is concerned… of course weddings are expensive so I’m sure they could all use money… but most of them own their own homes and such. I also am a young homeowner so I can’t really break the bank on these gifts… which I am sure they are aware of. I don’t spending more on the ones I’m closer too… but I don’t want to come off seaming cheap or anything like that. Is there any sort of rule for gifting if you are bringing a date or going solo?</p>
<p>The couple getting married in May bought a house together about six months ago… they have some things on a registry but really not much because they just recently had a house warming party and got a lot of stuff… </p>
<p>My cousin and her fiance just bought a house a few months ago as well… they haven’t had any sort of housewarming yet and have a bunch of things on their registry… I may go in on something on it with my sister… I just feel weird getting something more personal for them since I really don’t know them that well… I only met her fiance once and that was at her graduation party… and that was the first time I had seen her in years… </p>
<p>The college friends getting married in August have their own apartment… but I don’t think I can make it to that one (it’s an evening wedding the night before my co-workers, and it’s in another state)… so I’ll probably just mail them a gift card of sorts…</p>
<p>My co-worker actually needs a lot of stuff and she set up a BB&B registry so I’ll probably do something off that plus a more personal type thing… She does all of our hair (hair dresser on the side) and at her bridal shower this one lady (who has enough trouble combing her hair yet alone cutting it) wrote in her card “I decided to give you free hair cuts for a year.” when she opened the card she looked over at us in horror and was like I sure hope you are kidding! For her gift at the bridal shower I got a collage-style-picture frame off of her registry and filled it with pictures of myself… as a joke of course. She got such a kick out of it that I think I’m going to do it again at another bridal shower!</p>
<p>And my friends marrying in September have a house together… so they are pretty much situated as far as that’s concerned… they did make a registry of some stuff… but most of it is nicer stuff, since they already have the day- to - day things. I don’t think I’ll have too much of an issue getting something for them though. I like the idea of the wine-of-the-month club… they love wine and are always going to wine tasting things and such. Does anyone recommend any good ones?</p>
<p>I also have my sisters college graduation coming up… but I already took care of that… and my best friend in the world’s baby is turning 1 in june, so I have to get some sort of gift for him yet. so many events!! I am literally booked nearly every weekend between now and august!</p>
<p>Some of the wedding presents we have used the most:</p>
<ul>
<li>a roasting pan</li>
<li>a down comforter (but that is expensive)</li>
<li>an all purpose baking sheet (also used for broiling – ours is stainless steel which now appears impossible to find)</li>
</ul>
<p>I’m also thinking a good kitchen knife is a very useful gift that perhaps most people would not think to give.</p>
<p>Set a budget. It doesn’t matter if you’re really close because you probably aren’t going to spend $1,000 on a piece of crystal. Go to their registry…click and purchase. See what they still want or need. If they are registered at Bed, Bath and Beyond, Macy’s find that 20% off coupon. Click, purchase…and be done with it.</p>
<p>I’d go for the registry, especially for people you don’t know well. It is perfectly reasonable for you and your sister or parents to go in together on something for your cousin.</p>
<p>If it’s someone you know really well, and you are REALLY SURE that they will enjoy something else, by all means go off registry. If you do use the registry, remember that you don’t have to give entire place settings of china or silver. Single pieces or multiples of a piece are fine. It all adds up. For example, for most people, it is actually better to give a few dinner plates than a “place setting,” because most people won’t actually use some of the things like B&B plates or those little cereal/fruit bowls, but they will eventually use 12 dinner plates and 12 salad plates. For some reason, many young couples are bamboozled into thinking that they ought to have a complete set of matching china, which they will probably end up putting away “for good” instead of using it. (tacky, tacky…) Unless they are unusual and actual like to give dinner parties with nice stuff–there are some out there, but they are in the minority–by the time they are mature enough to entertain more formally, their taste may well have changed and they will no longer like whatever appealed to their 23-yr-old selves.</p>
<p>I come from a family of china fanatics, and I have 12 dinner plates in probably 10+ patterns, plus some matching platters and salad plates. My mother probably has dinner plates and assorted other pieces in 20 patterns! (Thanks you, Harrods sales! :D) I have 12 salad plates in a pattern that can be used with all of the others. And a whole bunch of matching serving pieces (platters, a soup tureen, footed vegetable dishes, etc) in a classic pattern that goes well with all of the varied dinner plates.</p>
<p>I think a wedding is a nice opportunity to give people something nice that will adorn their life for many years that they would probably view as an extravagance. A pair of Waterford salt cellars…some crystal candlesticks…an antique bowl. They can buy their own vegetable peelers, if they don’t have them already.</p>
<p>I too, am a china fanatic…only you have me beat. I only have sets of china…gotta get working!</p>
<p>Ellebud</p>
<p>And you are totally right about not needing the place setting. I have used my bandb probably 10 times…except in my brunch set…because that doubles as a dessert plate.</p>
<p>Because we are among the folks who have a lot less money than we used to, I have been trying to think creatively. Because I have nieces getting married this year.</p>
<p>One thing DH and I did years ago - we bought wine from the year we were married and saved it for our 25th anniversary. Very special. We also bought wine for the year our son was born and saved it for his 21st birthday.</p>
<p>This is a bit tricky, as each year’s vintage is usually not available (for fine wines) until a bit later. So I am going to have to come up with a card or token to symbolize the wine that will come later. </p>
<p>A bottle of wine, from a fine winery, is not all that expensive when bought in the year it is first sold. It becomes quite valuable over the years, monetarily, and is always quite special to open on a 10th or 25th anniversary.</p>
(Thanks you, Harrods sales! :D) I have 12 salad plates in a pattern that can be used with all of the others. And a whole bunch of matching serving pieces (platters, a soup tureen, footed vegetable dishes, etc) in a classic pattern that goes well with all of the varied dinner plates.</p>