<p>Just a follow-up, on the Tacky Scale. (It might have been Chedva.) I do agree that asking for a donation to the honeymoon fund is way more tacky than asking for a donation to the bride-and-groom’s favorite charity. The first time I saw/heard that suggestion was in a bridal magazine many years ago. The editors of the magazine apparently thought they were quite the forward-looking types to have suggested that. (It was something like, “Gee, honeymoon’s are so expensive these days – with travel costs & all. Here’s a novel idea: Get your guests to contribute to your honeymoon instead of to a gift registry.”) Major turn off. I mean, while we’re being honest, just come out & say it: ‘Dough appreciated, and we don’t mean the baking kind.’</p>
<p>H and I took a token one right after the wedding until we could afford a proper honeymoon a few years later, on an anniversary. Our guests were not responsible for our honeymoon, any more than they were responsible for the marriage certificate filing fees in county court.</p>
<p>Maybe it’s my European upbringing or something, but I just don’t see that there is any way you can politely refer to gifts on an invitation. People will often broach the subject with you; once they bring it up, you can answer them, whether it’s a registry or a charity. If they don’t bring it up, the inviter shouldn’t bring it up. You can bring up all the practicalities you want to, but that’s just the way courtesy works. Anything else belies an assumption that the invited person will be giving a gift. The “will be” often turns into “must”, and there we have the problem.</p>
<p>(OK, slightly off-topic: Since we’re doing some mentioning of alternative gift registries, let me drop my favorite one into the mix: Kiva.org. Kiva.org is a non-profit that lets you pool small donations with others from around the world to make a small 0% loan to low income entrepreneurs in the developing world, in a practical application of microfinance. Funded loans provide affordable working capital to buy a sewing machine, livestock, etc., and empower the borrowers to earn their way out of poverty. When the loan is repaid, you can withdraw your money, or re-lend to another borrower. And they offer gift-certificates. I plan to give Kiva.org gift certificates to all my relatives next Christmas. OK, carry on, back to the topic at-hand! )</p>
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