<p>What does one give, if you want to give something but weren’t invited to the wedding?
You will be going to the reception, which will be held five months later.
( they do not have a registry)</p>
<p>Money</p>
<p>We gave them money already, but Id like to give them something more memorable.
Since I cant really give them enough money to be memorable.
I might see if I can combine it with another present to give them lodging. :-? </p>
<p>An 8 x10 silver picture frame. : D</p>
<p>A very nice dinner? Something fun, like a private glass-blowing class or other lessons they can take together?</p>
<p>I think the picture frame works.
Should I get one for the inlaws too?
( its for my daughter)</p>
<p>Do they have hobbies? Gardening stuff, music/movie/theatre tickets. </p>
<p>I know her H is a huge soccer fan.
He is finishing up his graduate degree, so I need to get him a present for that too.</p>
<p>Personally, while a photo frame is a nice gift, it somehow doesn’t seem special enough for one’s own daughter.</p>
<p>How about a gift certificate to a really nice restaurant for the two of them? Are they going on a trip, or any kind of honeymoon? Perhaps a gift certificate for a restaurant at the destination would be a nice surprise.
You might consider a set of really nice cookware. Young kids don’t usually invest in this type of thing, but a couple of All Clad pots or pans might be something they’d appreciate that they wouldn’t buy for themselves (yet.) If they are the healthy type, a blender that is powerful enough for whole food juicing is another idea. (My own kids had this on their list.) Beautiful linens are also really useful, and kind of pricey for couples starting out.</p>
<p>I think the frame works for the inlaws- but I’d go a bit more personal for the couple.</p>
<p>I think their kitchen is pretty well stocked (& stuffed, Id hate to get something they didnt have room for)
I could ask her sister, I know D used to want a Kitchen aid mixer or cuisinart, but dont know if they bought one.
I also have a copy of a painting D made in grade school.
Her school has the original framed in the hallway, but Id like to get the print matted & framed.
( it was at my moms house, but my brother broke it somehow and his replacement frame is kind of awful.)</p>
<p>I think a picture frame is way too impersonal for a daughter and SIL, but would work for the in-laws. I know things have been dicey with your D lately, but I wouldn’t necessarily get stuff for the sake of stuff. Do you have anything that was your mother’s or your own that you can hand down, or is there a special family photo/artwork or item that always meant a lot to her? When I got married previously, my mother gave me a string of her pearls. I never wear them-I am so not a pearl person, but I cherish them because SHE wore them in HER wedding. Is there a ring, or earrings, or a beloved cookbook (like the one she gave my sister, the one who loves cooking).</p>
<p>Just a thought. Sometimes the sentiment means more than a Big Gift. I hope you and your D come to some kind of truce.</p>
<p>I gave her a silver Navaho bracelet that my mom had given to me when I turned 19, when she turned 18.
That was the nicest piece I had until my H gave me a locket after we had been seperated.
( I gave that to my youngest when * she* turned 18)
Otherwise, I only have costume jewelry, mostly earrings that were gifts, and the only thing I have of my moms are some Hummels that she ( my mom) wrote all over with marker because she kept changing her mind who she wanted them to go to.
I dont think they would work with how D decorates, although there is a funny story.
My grandmother had Hummels on her television set and we were NEVER allowed to even touch them.
But one afternoon, when I came to their house after my grandparents had been watching D for me, she was on the floor playing with three or four of them.
( she was about 3)
I was shocked, but grandma was just :x
My mom was ill at the time of my wedding, (she was so depressed, she even wore black), so no present, and my grandparents gave me juice glasses that I have had to put away because I kept breaking them.
Im afraid Ive passed my klutzyness on.
But I will give it more thought.</p>
<p>I had a waterford crystal bowl that I could have given her but I took it with us when we went to a hotel for Thanksgiving, left it there and didn’t realize it until a few weeks later.
( it was a stressful time)
Boy I really sound like a mess. No wonder she doesnt want me around.</p>
<p>Emeraldkitty- There are four gifts that I use that I think about the givers. I have been married for over thirty years. My grandmother gave me everyday silverware and my other grandmother gave me pots and pans. I still think of them when I use these items. As well, I received two beautiful crystal vases from my cousins. I still use them when I buy flowers and I think of them. I really like to give things that will be used and not displayed. I really do not like picture frames.</p>
<p>I am always impressed with your kindness and thoughtfulness.</p>
<p>I am also touched by your thoughtfulness, EK4, and all you have been through to get where you are. I agree that something that will be used–a nice vase that would be used is nice, we got a nice carving set from our wedding that we still use, My sister gave us a TV, which we used for over 20 years for our wedding. Another relative gave us a US Savings Bond. My MIL gave me jewelry (wasn’t to my taste, but I was very touched by the gesture–it was burgled so no longer have it). My folks helped fund our wedding reception, tho no particular gift.</p>
<p>My niece gave her sib a nice throw that has the couple’s last name woven into the print of the throw. You could get Costco to make a copy of your D’s artwork and put it in a nice frame, perhaps. They will print it on canvas.</p>
<p>I like crystal bud vases–we use them all the time.</p>
<p>I am thinking of what I might like to get from my mother… I think jewelry would be nice, it wouldn’t have to be an heirloom piece. Some nice crystal decorative bowls, vases, or candlesticks or something would be nice. Something personal like the throw HImom suggests would be nice. My main line of thinking is something pretty that I can put out in my house that will last forever. </p>
<p>I feel your pain coming through your posts and I’m really sorry. My mother missed my older sister’s wedding, too. My mom didn’t send a gift. It did get better one day.</p>
<p>I like the idea of giving your D the copy of her painting, either the original copy or one from Costco on canvas as HImom suggested. Have it framed in some sort of nice professionally done frame that goes with the art. I think that is a very thoughtful gift and one she won’t take offense to in any way since she did the art herself! </p>
<p>Something permanent that adds a touch of graciousness to their home. Crystal candlesticks. A pair of Waterford salt cellars. A Waterford biscuit barrel or footed bowl. ( for candy or anything) A lovely tea set or set of 12 champagne flutes plus a bottle of champagne. A linen tablecloth and 12 napkins, or a set of 8 placemats and napkins. (I’m a fan of Jacquard Francais.) A silver tray (think Christofle).</p>
<p><a href=“https://www.le-jacquard-francais.fr/shop/en/2-1-27/Table-linen/Tablecloth”>https://www.le-jacquard-francais.fr/shop/en/2-1-27/Table-linen/Tablecloth</a></p>
<p>Since they like to cook, a piece of French copper cookware that can also be served from. I’d suggest Williams Sonoma, because an exchange would be easy, if necessary. Such as this:</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/mauviel-copper-oval-stewpan-with-lid/?pkey=ccookware-copper&cm_src=cookware-copper||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-”>http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/mauviel-copper-oval-stewpan-with-lid/?pkey=ccookware-copper&cm_src=cookware-copper||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-</a></p>
<p>or</p>
<p><a href=“http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/ruffoni-hammered-copper-gratin-pan/?pkey=ccookware-copper&cm_src=cookware-copper||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-”>http://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/ruffoni-hammered-copper-gratin-pan/?pkey=ccookware-copper&cm_src=cookware-copper||NoFacet-_-NoFacet-_--_-</a></p>
<p>When I got married, I received a ton of silver/silverplate trays, pitchers, etc. Too impractical for everyday use and a pain to polish, this generation has limited interest in high maintenance items. The young people in my area (including S & DIL) have registered extensively for Mariposa trays, etc. which are a polished pewter. They are somewhat more casual, but can still be used for nice family dinners and entertaining. Google Mariposa String of Pearls to see my favorite pattern. The trays are very pretty and feel substantial. You could have one monogrammed with their last name initial and create a nice keepsake piece that way. Here’s a link to a rectangular tray. I really like the large square tray, but I can’t find a link right now. <a href=“http://www.mariposa-gift.com/p-705-pearled-rectangular-platter.aspx?Eid=281”>http://www.mariposa-gift.com/p-705-pearled-rectangular-platter.aspx?Eid=281</a></p>
<p>EK, I am also touched by your efforts to keep your head up and move forward. I know this has been a challenging situation for you - sending good thoughts:)</p>