Wedding guest attire advice needed

<p>I always wear black to funerals unless otherwise requested. It’s respectful.</p>

<p>We all wore my Dad’s Hawaiian shirts (or similar shirts that fit) to my Dad’s memorial service because my Mom asked us to. It was a casual affair on the back deck of her house.</p>

<p>Black is not traditional at Jewish funerals, though it’s not inappropriate, either. Conservative dress is worn, ie no bright colors.</p>

<p>The wedding I went to in WA, which had primarily Michiganders in attendance, had lots of black. I am wearing an LBD to a wedding in MI in August-- outdoors, too… not my first choice but it’s what I have to wear. I don’t think it will be inappropriate, just perhaps not what I would be most comfortable in!</p>

<p>My daughter always dreamed of a gold and ivory wedding. But when it came to picking out gold gowns for the bridesmaids, they had a terrible time. The gold chiffon looked like the color of nude stockings. The satin was better, but few wanted satin. They switched to black with gold and ivory details where possible. Each girl is picking her own dress and materials don’t have to match. So now I get to wear gold silk! By the way, since the girls are choosing individual gowns instead of matching gowns, can the groomsmen wear their own black tuxes, too? I figured since no one is matching, the guys don’t have to. Right? The groom doesn’t care, he’s going with whatever she wants. But what do others think? By the way, it is black tie, 7:00 p.m. wedding, in New York.</p>

<p>I don’t care for black-tie; I don’t like the idea of mandating that your guests wear certain things. Let the groom and his attendants wear black-tie and let the men wear their normal business suits! I think especially when there will be a lot of young men at the wedding, it’s not nice to make them have to pay to go rent a tuxedo.</p>

<p>Black is a fashion color now. It connotes nothing. I think it’s fine to wear black to an evening wedding. Wear metallic or colored accessories to avoid the widow effect.</p>

<p>RE funerals:more and more, I am attending “memorial services” rather than funerals (i.e. no open casket, no post-service interment). Business attire in dark colors is common for both sexes, but the only people who are actually wearing black head to toe are the family of the deceased.</p>

<p>^very good point, NJSue. And I have sometimes found myself reading the paper, seeing that someone’s husband or a co-worker died, and realizing that the viewing is that day. So the choice is: go home and change or go as is. I know myself – if I go home, I’ll stay home. So I go, as is, in whatever I was wearing for work that day. Which is usually pretty sober, color-wise.</p>

<p>It’s not that I make a big effort to wear black - it’s just that half my closet is black or gray especially in the winter! I haven’t been to a real funeral ever I don’t think. It’s sitting shiva or memorial services. Sometimes with caskets (closed) present.</p>

<p>This is an absolutely true story: A friend of mine was getting married, and her sister showed up for the ceremony wearing a wedding gown! No joke. I’ve seen the pictures.</p>

<p>I would avoid doing that. :)</p>

<p>I think the “little black dress” is fine for a black-tie optional wedding. If you went to any other variety of black-tie optional event, the LBD would probably be your first choice of what to wear.</p>

<p>Still, I suspect that there are pockets in the country where a black dress would stand out at a wedding. For example, I just returned from my niece’s wedding in North Carolina. I wore navy blue, and most of the older women were wearing pastels. It was an afternoon wedding, though. I think an LBD would be fine in almost all of Florida.</p>

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<p>I agree. Who even thinks widow with an LBD anymore? Unless you have a mantilla in place and clutch your pearls dramatically!</p>

<p>I wore black to a wedding in South Florida last month. It was an evening wedding in the Palm Beach area. My outfit was fine for the event and area. I wore dressy pants with a lace sweater set along with chunky bold pearls (necklace, bracelet and earrings) and strappy sandals. I was not the only lady in black. </p>

<p>For the OP I would suggest that you include a shawl/wrap or light dressy sweater as part of your outfit. Florida, while hot, is very well climate controlled. I always have a light sweater with me when I go to movies, the mall, restaurants etc. because the AC can be chilly.</p>

<p>I’d rather a guest wears a black or white dress to a wedding than some of the “hooker” dresses I’ve seen recently. Any dress that fits appropriately and is tasteful than the tight trashy dresses that pass for dressy attire for some young people these days.</p>

<p>sportsmom, thanks for the advice. The evening wedding I’m going to in FL is near Palm Beach, so you confirmed the appropriateness of the LBD.</p>

<p>I do have a beaded sweater (more like a bolero or shrug), but it’s also black. Would a more colorful wrap fit in better in FL?</p>

<p>One of the loveliest weddings I’ve been to recently was my cousin’s beach wedding in which the bridal party all wore black except for the bride. The bridesmaids wore LBD’s that each had picked out - none matched. The groomsmen wore black Tommy Bahama shirts and trousers. All had pink flowers and pink flip flops.</p>

<p>^^ I love that! The nod to each person’s individual style, with enough common accents to make them visually cohere.</p>

<p>You have me thinking about my cousins wedding coming up… I want to wear my new sapphire/white gold stud earrings with my LBD, but I also wanted to wear my pearl necklace. Can these be worn together or do I have to wear pearls with pearls? I don’t own any other jewelry besides pearl earrings and the dress needs a necklace… I just really want a dressy enough occasion to wear the sapphires.</p>

<p>Are the earings drop or stud style? If they are drop, you may not need a necklace.</p>

<p>Shellfell - I think your beaded sweater will be appropriate and nice looking. If you want a touch of color a shawl in a pretty color would work well too. I would probably stick with softer colors vs. really bright colors to avoid the – It’s South Florida everyone wears hot pink and bright green all the time— kind of look. Hope that makes sense.</p>

<p>Have fun on your trip to Florida and enjoy the wedding!</p>

<p>They are stud style… They are gorgeous and too dressy for casual wear, i got them for valentines day and have yet to wear them. I get an occasion to dress up maybe once every 5 years, so I don’t know if I’ll ever wear them if I can’t wear them to this wedding.</p>

<p>Someone needs to tell my fianc</p>

<p>Just wear the earrings and show off your plain neck! No one will care! (Alternative: could you borrow a fancy necklace from someone that goes with the earrings better than the pearls?)</p>