<p>Your earrings and pearls can certainly be worn together. You don’t have to wear only pearls with pearls. Try it out and see how you like it!</p>
<p>Pearl earrings and pearl necklace is more of a Southern-prep look. Classic, but it can look a bit dowdy IMO depending on how it’s worn. But it’s perfectly fine to mix it up. For further instructions, find Alumother’s blog (amidprivilege) and read her entries on pearls!</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, I agree. The men will be wearing business suits most likely. The only reason my daughter wants black tie on the invitation is to avoid casual dress. We are telling our guests that suits are fine, tuxedos are not necessary. But I’ve been to too many events that don’t specify and the guests often dress very casually. Maybe we should switch to “black tie optional”. The invitations haven’t been printed yet.</p>
<p>It should say black tie optional if you don’t expect tuxedos and gowns. I still don’t understand why people get upset about what their guests to their weddings. Are they worried about the pictures?</p>
<p>^My sister-in-law used to print “Medals shall be worn” which is British for “wear your fanciest togs” for their yearly summer dance party. My brother always wears his tux. There are always jokers who come with running medals and Hawaiian shirts, or tux shirts and jeans, but everyone makes much more of an effort than if she didn’t tell them “Yo, this is a dress up party!”</p>
<p>I had a black tie wedding because my mother didn’t want anyone showing up in golf attire. Besides, men look extremely handsome in a tux.</p>
<p>If we get an invitation that says “black tie” - I’m going to tell my husband it means he has to wear his tux. If you call me and say, “most men will wear business suits and that is fine” I’m just going to think you are trying to be nice because you know my husband doesn’t want to wear that tux.</p>
<p>I understand that lots of people interpret black tie differently than I do.</p>
<p>In my day to day life and most other times, I absolutely don’t care what people think about what I wear. The only times I feel concern are weddings and funerals. This has to do with all the rules I was taught as a child. Most all the clothing rules I was taught are completely outdated or not even remembered. Since some of them are now 50 or more years old, that is no surprise.</p>
<p>Next time I attend a wedding, I’m going to make a real effort to wear black. It is good to challenge oneself. :)</p>
<p>mathmom: a friend gives an annual party where “Medals shall be worn” and many have started searching them out at antique stores, etc, so as to be in strict compliance.</p>
<p>QuantMech: I just really want to know the back story to the sister in the wedding dress…</p>
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<p>I wouldn’t want my guests to feel uncomfortable because they are underdressed for the venue and the event I have planned. I also think it’s polite to show up to an event dressed appropriately, which includes the proper level of formality for the event-- though it’s not like it would really upset me if someone showed up dressed too casually, I’d be more worried about them being embarrassed than my own feelings.</p>
<p>My fiance’s brother never dresses up, and by complete coincidence both fiance and the younger brother brought extra shirts and ties to their sister’s wedding last summer just in case big brother showed up inappropriately dressed. He did wear a plaid shirt, which wasn’t really appropriate, but he brought his own clip on tie and everyone was very proud of him. I admit since he’s immediate family I hope he dresses properly for our wedding since he’ll be in the formal portraits, but he so does not care it’ll be a surprise if he comes at all so I guess I’ll have to take him or leave him however he presents himself (or doesn’t!) At least his sister won’t wear white. ;)</p>
<p>with regard to pearls: sometimes I wear pearl earrings, necklaces, and bracelets all together. I’m not thinking southern prep; I’m thinking flapper. ;)</p>
<p>Cartera45, the pictures weren’t even a consideration. And although tuxedos and gowns would be really nice, I do not expect men to rent them if they don’t own them. Which is why we were thinking dark suits, or at least suits. The groomsmen will rent them, although some own them and will wear their own.</p>
<p>Speaking of my brother’s party - the first year they did it - one guy asked his wife, “Should I wear my tux?” She said, “Nah, I don’t think you need to.” They arrived at the party, the guy took one look at my brother (in his tux) and said, “I’ll be right back” which he was, in his tux. I think it’s fun to have some occasions which really are dressed up. </p>
<p>Speaking of which does anyone else think it’s funny in Downton Abbey when the men have to apologize for being informal for wearing black tie instead of white tie?</p>
<p>I am now remembering when my mother and I traveled to England on the Queen Mary. We were in converted cabin class, which meant that one had the best of both worlds: a first class cabin, but the cabin class dining room. That meant that one wore cocktail attire at dinner, as opposed to long gowns. There were, if I recall correctly, at least three waiters per table of 8 or so.</p>
<p>The entire cabin was paneled in blonde mahogany. The bathtub had hot and cold running fresh water and salt water. The stewards entered the cabin each night and turned down the bed and laid out one’s nightgown. The library was replete with British boarding school novels. (The artistic precursor of Harry Potter.) On deck, the stewards would bring tea or bouillon to one’s deck chair.</p>
<p>Ah, civilization. :D</p>
<p>It so happens that I will be attending a black tie wedding tomorrow night here in the sunny (and HUMID) South. It’s been my recent experience that many, many women wear black to the black-tie, Saturday night weddings that are typical in my social circle–but I will be in turquoise chiffon. I’ll report on the “black - to - non black” ratio.</p>
<p>As promised, my update–the wedding last night was beautiful, elegant and joyful. All the men were in tuxes and at least one-third of the women–including all ages from 20-somethings on up–were in black dresses, some long and some short. So there you have it.</p>
<p>dg5052: Thanks for the update. 
How did you decide on a turquoise dress?</p>
<p>We attended the wedding in Bloomington, Indiana last night. My daughter was the Priest. Bridesmaids wore long black dresses of their choosing. Many guests wore black, including MOG ( had a pink shawl). Also lots of pastels and florals and some VERY short dresses.</p>
<p>OK, now I need a translation. Niece is getting married in three weeks. Website says Attire: causal/semi-formal. ??? In CA, casual, for an outside wedding could be nice shorts. for inside, sundress, nice pants shirts for guys. but semi formal is cocktail dresses, suits … Everything is a step more casual than I think the south and east are ( could be wrong about that, just MHO ) </p>
<p>this will be a church wedding, in Idaho. the gown is long, lots of tulle. Don’t know what the groom os wearing. The have a lot of farmer friends… To a farmer, casual might mean wearing the good jeans.</p>
<p>What should I wear? What should H wear. I am thinking my long silky blue sundress thing, it has anhortsleeve jacket, and straps in top. It is NOTHING near to semi formal. I don’t really care what they think. I did not feel very welcome at her sisters wedding years ago, so I just show up, shut up, but I am not wearing beige. H has a few issues with my family so will probably wear slacks and a shirt, no tie. </p>
<p>I’d go with black tie optional if you want, but don’t expect, people to show up in suits and LBDs.</p>
<p>esobay, Your dress sounds like it will be fine. I have a a wedding next weekend. and the attire is “summer casual,” I have no idea what that is either. Wedding is late afternoon outside with dinner in a barn & dancing under a tent. I am wearing a watered silk two piece ankle length-ish dress (there is an under dress with uneven hemline and slit on one side and an overdress also with an uneven hemline.) I have been told flat shoes would be a good idea but I am ignoring that. It’s possible I will be more dressed up then MOB. </p>
<p>DH is going to wear dress slacks, shirt and tie and ditto for my son. They can ditch the ties if no one else is wearing one.</p>
<p>emilybee: you MUST be on the east coast. No way anyone I know would wear a coat and TIE! to a wedding with dinner in a barn. Even the nicer weddings at wineries, for example, where you eat in the cool caverns, no one wears a tie.
But if YOU are comfortable, then what the heck? I say go for it. That is my attitude on my clothes for the wedding.
I am letting my mom (by letting, I mean I am bringing her clothes out of her overstuffed closet to the AL place for her to choose) wear as fancy as she wants. She will be over the semi-formal limit, but she’ll be happy. </p>
<p>It is just the juxtaposition casual/semi-formal. Maybe they were trying to say Anything Goes and that was the range to put it in. </p>
<p>Might be a different thread, but I am here now… So we just bought a very nice scanner and my DH has spent the last weeks scanning in all our photos. Now when we move we don’t have to pack 7ft stacks of binders. Got down to our wedding pictures. Funny, I didn’t remember what anyone wore, except for me and H! But seeing those pics was good. Additional info, I had a very very small wedding, 2 aunts, 5 cousins, parents, siblings, Grandma, and DH had his dad and bro. Grandma dressed UP, one of the aunts wore (what I now see as hideous) a blue pants suit, with a plaid shirt. Funny thing though I still feel honored that she was there and I remember her laughing. Did NOT remember the suit. 35 years later it shouldn’t matter and doesn’t for me.</p>
<p>“No way anyone I know would wear a coat and TIE”</p>
<p>The guys aren’t wearing a coat. Besides the fact that it’s in a barn and “summer casual”, it’s going to be in the high 80’s if the forecast holds. So just a shirt and tie (which they can take off it they want.)</p>
<p>I am on the east coast.</p>