Regarding response date also see what date your caterer or venue requires a count by. I think for my S they requested an RSVP about 7 weeks prior to wedding. I thought they could have stretched that out a bit considering the invitations went out only about three weeks before that. There caterer wants a final number 4 weeks prior to wedding. The earlier rsvp has given them some time to get the stragglers responses.
My D is planning a June 2019 wedding. The area is a popular summer location and it doesn’t have a lot of traditional lodging nearby. I’m suggesting they send save the dates in September.
@Advmom I don’t think your nephew should be surprised if many people can’t make it. I know I’d be one who sent congratulations and a small gift but didn’t attend. And that may be his plan, but then why do a big wedding and ask anyone to come?
A friend’s son just got married in Mexico. The couple knew it would be a much smaller wedding with mostly just their parents and siblings. No grandparents, no cousins. They did have a bridal party but it was small and they loved it. His sister had had the opposite kind of wedding, very formal at a local resort with hundreds of guests.
D1 sent email and save the date a year ahead. Her wedding website also went up around then with hotels, events. I think her formal invitation went out in Feb for Jun wedding, and she asked for RSVP 2 months before the wedding. The RSVPs were done on the website.