When would you send out invitations for a wedding on a major holiday weekend? Some guests have started asking for the invitations pretty early in order to book travel. Thoughts?
We had family friends send out “save the date” cards nearly 6 months in advance and then the actual invitation at a normal time ; )
We sent save the dates months ago, but people are still pressing about formal invitations. This particular wedding has a lot of elderly people from out of town.
That seems weird to me! Are they afraid they aren’t going to be invited?
In any case, I would send out invites 10-12 weeks in advance so there is plenty of time for people to RSVP and to set up seating charts.
Our DDs wedding was on Memorial Day weekend. We sent an email out one full year in advance to all those invited to let them know…because we know folks make plans on holiday weekends.
We sent the Save the Date about 5 months before.
Invitations were sent out about 90 days before.
Website was created when the save the date was sent that had room block info, and air travel possibilities in terms of airports. Folks could access that immediately.
We did our room block even before the Save the Date went out.
Can these folks be contacted some way to let them know that the invitations will be sent by whatever date… but they can make reservations sooner if they would like…because they ARE being invited.
Either that…or just let it go.
I’m thinking we might copy you and send the actual invitations 90 days before. That sounds about right to me.
Sticking with the invitation topic, what has worked best for you all as an RSVP date - 3 or 4 weeks prior to wedding? We are kind of thinking 4 weeks?? Is that too much? I am probably overthinking this! 8-|
I love the “save the date” cards. It helps me plan and let’s me know I’m going to be invited to a wedding later in the year.
@momofsenior1 My dad (90) was angsting about D1’s invitations because he had a present picked out, but felt he shouldn’t buy & send it til he had the invitation. D had them, just not stuffed and stamped yet, so she dropped his in the mail early. 
I assume people have more other options for a holiday weekend, so want to be more sure that the wedding is really on. Guessing older guests may have seen wedding plans fall apart near the wedding before, too…
…or that they are really being invited.
For my nephew’s wedding that will be Labor Day weekend, invites were not sent out until 6 weeks before - save the date cards probably 4 months before. IMO this was not nearly soon enough, especially since nobody knew it was black tie until the invites were received so some are left scrambling for attire. I would have liked to have received the invite about 3 months before and save the date 6 months before (with black tie stated on save the date card). I think the bride was following some “rule” without taking into account that many of her out of town loved ones needed more of a heads up to travel to a formal event on a holiday weekend.
D’s wedding was in a travel heavy area in early June. She sent out ‘save the date’ cards in September and the invitations in February. Even then, some people had to cancel a charity event they had already booked in order to be at the wedding. The earlier the better, I say, for best air fares. We had the hotel rooms blocked but the blocking expired three weeks before the wedding.
I’ve gotten save-the-date e-mails way in advance and then save the date cards many months out. It was helpful for planning, making travel arrangements and flights. The actual invitation wasn’t so important, as the save the date info with link to website with info about travel.
My S and DIL sent “Save the Dates” in January for a Labor Day 2017 wedding and the invitations were sent 10 weeks in advance. The RSVP date was 3 weeks before the wedding. It all worked out fine and, as usual, there were last minute revisions.
I think that (in my experience) that some older people tend to obsess over things that don’t need to be worried about.
Like receiving a save the date and then worrying that they won’t receive an invitation. Or that they don’t have a whole lot going on and ask things just to have something to talk about. Like when they are going to get an invitation.
I think I must know quite a few older people and that worrying tends to be more pronounced as they age.
It may not be that the guests necessarily need the engraved invitation, but they would like more details beyond that it will be “holiday” weekend. I have a nephew getting married at the end of September. We have not even received a save the date card. We have just been told verbally what date it will be and a general area that it is in. The wedding is approximately a ten hour drive from where we live, and ninety minutes from the closest major airport. Not knowing specifics on where it is has made it difficult to reserve hotels. I guessed and picked one, but it may be as much as 25 miles away from the wedding since I don’t know a specific location. I also had to guess how many nights I needed it since I don’t know what time the wedding is. By the time I get the details it will probably be too late to get a flight so we are planning on driving. Other family members wanted to fly because they are limited on how much time they can take off, including college students. I don’t think they have bought plane tickets because we don’t know the details. Of course the gift registry details are readily available for those that want to purchase gifts. And yes everybody including the groom’s grandparents and parents have asked for more information so we can make plans.
Note that the above is my vent and absolutely none of it may apply in OP’s situation.
Wow, @AdvMom , that is very odd if even the groom won’t tell his own parents any of the details. The location is pretty basic stuff. What’s the big secret? Might be more to this story in terms of what’s going on with this couple. Hope you get the details soon.
I think there may be an issue with which member of the clergy is marrying them as the bride and groom are of slightly different religions. That doesn’t matter to me, but may very well matter to his mother.
Other than that, this same nephew told his parents three days before graduation that he wasn’t graduating and they had to cancel a large graduation party last minute. So who knows what is going on this time.
Hopefully this nephew does not tell his parents three days before the wedding that there is no wedding!
Regarding responses…we had folks send in responses by 3 week’s before the wedding. TBH, I wish I had done the response date a week sooner. I think responding quickly gets it done. The longer you give them, the more likely folks will put off to the last minute…and then forget.
I think send the invites, and ask for responses within four weeks. That gives YOU plenty of time to track down the folks who don’t respond.