It’s been a long time since I attended a wedding and wanted some advice on wedding presents. Soon, some of my nieces and nephews will be having their weddings. Any rule of thumb? If I remember correctly, the amount of money people spent on wedding presents varied greatly by area of the country. The upcoming weddings will be in Connecticut, Philadelphia and Dallas.
I like to give a gift along with a cash gift. The total I spend really varies. But we were invited to four weddings last year…and our own daughter got married.
For the four weddings we went to, I was the only guest at one…and it was a last minute fly in. The bride and groom did not want gifts from out of town guests. I gave them their cookware as a gift anyway. It was on their registry.
Wedding two…cash gift plus a locally made inlaid wood gift. Two of us attended and this was a very good friend. Honestly I don’t remember the cash amount.
Wedding three…we didn’t attend. Sent the couple $250 gift.
Wedding four…very good friends and we’ve know the groom since he was in kindergarten. We got them all of their everyday dishes…including the flatware.
Do what you would like to do.
We have given everyday dishes and flatware to a number of couples…we know it’s something they need…and will use.
For our DD…gifts ranged from a $50 gift card to Target, to checks over $1000.
We generally choose gifts off the couple’s registry in the amount of $200-$250.
There is no rule. You should give what you want to give, although if they are nieces and nephews, I’d probably go with the same gift or amount to each.
I really like to give a gift (on the register or not) that they’ll think about me when they use it. When my sister was married many years ago, her office mate joined together and bought the silver flatware she’d registered for, and she always remembers them when she uses it. A group of my co-workers bought all the accessories for the dishes for one getting married. A friend bought so many salad spinners for shower gifts one year that she swears the sales person would just get one ready as she walked into the store.
My kids will both (probably) marry in the next year and they are not in the same position in life so it would be difficult to find one gift to suit both. One is a yuppie with a good paying job and she can buy anything she wants or needs, but is a minimalist, and doesn’t want anything. The other is poor and needs everything but doesn’t really have room for anything. Her boyfriend might be joining the military so lugging everything around the world may not be the answer either.
This always varies based on so many situations/reasons/abilities. My mouth will drop at many of the amounts floated by in this thread for sure. 
I think you should think of what you would be a nice gift from YOU. If you normally give a $25 gift for a birthday you probably aren’t going to be comfortable giving a wedding gift of $250!
You should think about what amount is comfortable for you and your family but would be considered a “nice gift” for you to give. If you have to stretch your budget to give the gift you have in mind then it’s probably too much.
That’s my opinion. And that CC often (often, not always) does not represent “middle America” in terms of disposable income. Upper middle maybe!
We are invited to several weddings. No gift registry. In that spot it says “we have everything no boxed gifts please”
Most people give money here. Give what you are comfortable with that won’t go beyond your budget limit.
Just don’t be offended or get a physical present anyway if the couple doesn’t have a registry and requests no things.
I can’t tell you how many people were angry and offended that we didn’t ask for anything other than one’s presence. Cash was lovely but we’d lived together for years before getting married. We didn’t need more stuff!
I’m lame I guess. I just went to my nephew’s wedding. I sent him a $200 check ahead of time.
Are you going to travel to all of the weddings?
I would pay just NOT to attend the weddings LOL. Venmo for the win.
It’s absolutely regional.
I’m from Long Island. For the CT wedding I would suggest cash. I have no idea on the other two.
The last wedding I went to was my cousins’ son. They invited my husband and I and our two children. I gave $250 cash.
It happened to be the most beautiful wedding I ever went to with the most generous open bar the entire time, food galore and an amazing celebration.
I buy a gift off of the registry for the wedding shower (if I am invited), but I give cash for the wedding.
So many couples have been living on their own or together that they just don’t need more “stuff”. In urban areas young people frequently live in small apartments with little storage
The amount you give is up to you and your budget.
D1 has been going to a lot of weddings. I asked her recently how much they gave. She said they generally gave 300-400 for 2 people.
For her own wedding, my friends whom have known D1 since she was a baby and family members gave D1 in the thousands. The groom’s side didn’t give as much, but I think they have their own giving standard (amount). In the future when they go to the groom side’s weddings that’s what they would give too.
OP, for your niece and nephews I would ask your family to see how much everyone is giving. If you give too much, when your kids get married they may feel obliged to give as much. In the future when my niece and nephews get married I am going to have to reciprocate.
I think if adult kids are invited they should give their own presents instead of being part of parents’ total gift. My sister’s kids gave very thoughtful (inexpensive) gifts to D1 and D1 very much appreciated it.
Agree with @abasket …the posters on CC are not a fair representation of the average “middle America” families. I was married six years ago, most of my friends are middle-aged, and the average monetary gift was $100/couple. To put it in perspective, my guess would be that most of my friends household income with two adults and two kids is just about $100K/year, give or take $25K.
The last wedding I went to my ex and I gave $150. It was a lavish affair with open bar on the ocean and the parents were fairly good friends of ours, it was about 5 years ago. Today I’d probably gift $200.
It’ll be interesting to see how my S and his fiancee fare. They are getting married in September and having a very nice ocean front, open bar event. I would say that her side of the family is wealthy while ours, well…not so much. They were talking about a registry but then said that some ask for honeymoon excursions on the registry and were thinking that might be appropriate because 1) they need nothing and 2) they can afford anything they want. I thought that was a good idea.
@oldfort, I agree that adult kids should give their own gifts. I know that one of my nieces (about 20 at the time) did give my ex and I a separate gift and it was very thoughtful imho. None of the other 20 somethings (a couple 30 something with their parents) did this, they latched on to the parental gift.
I still remember as soon as I graduated from college I was an adult on my own. I just wouldn’t expect my parents to pay for my share of gift. Not sure why do many young adults now still latch on to their parents when it comes to gift giving. I am speaking about my brother’s sons here.
Agree, the young adults should give their own wedding gift, and not hook onto the parent gift. DD received many very thoughtful gifts from her cousins. None were particularly expensive…but all were thoughtful. The aunts and uncles gave their own gifts.
My D just got married at the end of December. It was a small wedding, even the siblings did not bring a plus 1. I saw no presents or envelopes being given at the wedding. They do have a registry and perhaps some gifts were sent directly to them.
I do know that D’s MIL suggested that they put on their registry a way for people to contribute to their education fund so that student loans could be reduced. D is a 3rd year medical student and SIL is in his first year of a 2 year MPH program. I should ask her if anyone has contributed to that…
I do not expect my D’s young adult friends or adult family friends to be lavish. Nor do I think she does. She will have the wedding she and her almost-fiance want and guests can give what they want. No competition.
@oldfort, I think college graduation is a good milestone for becoming your own gift-giver, or early 20s if not a college graduate. If the parents want to be more generous for wedding gifts because their adult children are attending but are still young(ish) thats fine but those kids should be gifting according to their financial picture as well. I’ll bet my one niece’s gift to us cost less than $30 but it was the thought that counted and I really appreciated it. Apparently she considers herself more an adult than her two older sisters do LOL.