We usually give a check or gift card to place where the couple is registered. I like it if the amount exceeds my guestimate of reception costs per couple. We tend to give more now that the kids are grown and we have more discretionary funds. Sometimes I will also include a small gift, such as crystal votive holders.
My second son, who I knew well since he was 3 yo, was married, but soon to be returning to a Peace Corp country. His mom let me know that $$$ would be best option. So I happily bought a card and sent the check. So easy for everyone
I’m from CT and we never give cash, nor did we receive any when we got married (in Connecticut). We normally give something from the registry, usually china if they have selected a pattern, because I love china! 
IME the cash thing is not only somewhat regional, but also cultural/ethnic.
BTW, despite the fact that cash gifts are not the norm for me, I would give cash in the kind of circumstance where the couple is moving abroad or something like that where they obviously can’t take stuff with them. I also give a cash gift to kids graduating from HS and going off to college.
DD and SIL had a very small registry. No China, no crystal, no silver. They will be taking mine someday…woohoo!
They registered for things they thought they would be able to use…once they are settled into a home in a year and a half. Until then, their stuff is here. And not much of it.
Like many other younger couples marrying now…they don’t want “stuff” . They want experiences. They received a good amount of cash gifts that will partially be used for a four week terrific trip this spring. They are so grateful to the friends and family who gave cash gifts.
I have no issue giving cash…but when I do, I always give a gift of some kind too…that I think the couple will actually use…and is special in some way.
In HI, cash is a common and very accepted gift for all events and always has been. It is practical especially these days as many young people have already set up a household or two and may live quite far from the wedding and reception (another state or even country).
@thumper1 “They will be taking mine someday.”. You are lucky! I have lots of stuff that I would like to pass down and have done a little of that, but many kids just don’t want the old stuff-
antiques , silver, etc.
My older son and his girlfriend (they live together and will probably marry), did take liqueur glasses that we brought from Scotland for husband’s late parents many years ago, to put on their swanky bar cart (bar carts seem to be big these days!). I was very happy, he also took a painting that had been in the family and has had some smaller things since college days, like great grandfather’s wooden shaving mirror, small wooden tables that look great in his art deco apartment. The big things though are probably not to their taste. I get that but it could be strange to see things in the family for at least four generations leave the family, but that is fairly typical these days. Even we have my mother in law 's silver but have never used it. We couldn’t see family not taking it at the time, but it is one of those things we’ll have to now figure out what to do with down the line. I doubt either son wants it!
I had dinner with a friend the other night for her birthday. I didn’t recognize the china and asked if it was new. No, just old everyday dishes from Target or someplace (note, the everyday dishes they use every day have seen better days and should be replaced - how about using these?). They have some expensive Italian china from their wedding, but only about 2 complete place settings so can’t use for company. I asked her if she didn’t have her mother’s china. Of course, but it is too nice to use. Hmm, she is 62, her husband is 68. What is she waiting for!!! Her MIL lives next door and has a entire china set packed and sitting in her living room, ready to ship to a grandson who doesn’t want it. The MIL turned 96 yesterday.
My mother-in-law had beautiful china, but she only used it for very special occasions. The main reason was that it couldn’t go in the dishwasher. It had to be washed by hand.
I can relate to that.
When my niece got married, I gave her and her fiancé a check. But I also selected a vintage glass bridal basket out of my China cabinet. I wanted to give something tangible as well as cash. The bonus was giving something I liked to a good home. Now I need to find homes for vintage tea cups and cut glass…
I volunteer at a charity thrift store. We get regular donations of beautiful and complete sets of lovely china…and I’m talking even Limoges and the like. We are lucky if we can sell a service for 12 for $100…complete with serving pieces.
The China my daughter is taking is very simple cream colored Lenox dinner plates. The we also have the holiday dessert and serving pieces which she also wants. And she wants grandma’s sterling flatware. Good!! They are hers!!
I can’t seem to find a taker for the Orrefors crystal wine (tiny) and water stemware we got. It will likely just get donated.
@thumper1 I wish I lived near your charity thrift store! I never see things like that up here. I did see an enormous set of a great Limoges pattern at an antique store, but it was priced at over $1K.
We get amazing donations. Yes to Limoge. Right now there are two gorgeous Waterford fruit bowls. We have some beautiful etched crystal. Lots of nice and complete sets that were someone’s wedding gifts long ago…Noritake, Lenox, Royal Doulton, Johnson Bros. Odds and ends pieces as well.
I actually got my daughter a gorgeous Lenox holiday China serving bowl. It matches the dishes we have.
But back to wedding presents. Many couples today do not want multiple sets of dishes or flatware. Some do. I will say, if I hadn’t had my China that my kid wanted, I would have encouraged her to register for good dishes.
But…already she has everyday all white dishes…they can be used for anything…and can be mixed and matched with accessory pieces to dress up a table too.
I try to give something the couple will use…or need. If I’m not sure, I contact the parents of the couple…and ask. I’d rather give money the couple will use towards something they want to use it for than give a gift that they will be donating themselves because it’s just not what they want or need.
@Marian yes on the shipping gifts! My daughter got married last summer at a venue near our house in Maine. They live near Boston. Several people brought gifts, including a huge KitchenAid mixer, and about five boxes containing a nativity set to the reception. Guess who had to deal with those?
I got a Kitchen Aid mixer for a shower and I specifically asked if I should send it to the bride’s house. I was told, “Oh no, you need to bring it because part of the shower was to open the gifts.” I drove over 250 miles for the shower, and the bride had to drive 200+ miles with all the presents.
My kid got a kitchenaid mixer also. We specifically did not have her register for electronic anything as these gifts won’t be used for at least a year. It’s in my basement…in the box. It’s really a high end one…but if it doesn’t work…the warranty period will be totally over before the box is even opened.
I finally got a Kitchenaid mixer for my 40th birthday! That’s when I started making wedding cakes. 