<p>Don’t separate guests from extended families at wedding reception seatings. Many people come from far and wide and use weddings as a form of mini-family reunion. I’d much rather reconnect with my farflung family members than make small talk with the bride’s family’s neighbor, whom I’ll never see again.</p>
<p>What about seating groups by table rather than by actual seat? That is a nice combination of direction and flexibility. Walking into a reception without anyone to sit with is a bit like walking into the cafeteria as the new kid on the first day of school. (as Chedva says upthread)</p>
<p>I would not seat the vendors with the guests. The party is their worksite and it’s a strange mixing of categories.</p>
<p>S & DIL’s rehearsal dinner was totally a free-for-all. No seating assignments. Worked out well – half of them had been staying at our house, so there was a lot of mixing and mingling that had already taken place. The rest of the folks jumped right in and started chatting.</p>
<p>I’ve been to two weddings where one or two couples got to be “odd men out.” Not pretty. In one case, it was so obviously the less liked adult couple (relatives.) Tables for 10, 10 of us together and those two at another, by themselves. Of course, we all just pushed our own chairs aside and made room. And, in OP’s case, if someone just has to sit near cousin Bobby they haven’t seen in a while, they’ll find a way to interact, over the course of the reception. They can join a table when others get up to dance or pull up a free chair. if you have these extra numbers, just sit a group of them together- 4 plus others. Not two plus no one, as I saw. Or two plus 6 or 8 strangers.</p>
<p>With all it takes to put together a wedding, just do the best you can. It’s about the B+G and their parents.</p>
<p>I’ve also been to weddings where there is no seating assignment- and by the time you’re ready to sit, there are solo seats here and there, nothing for the two of you. You can’t always ask wedding guests to just move down a spot, like in a movie theatre. Best wishes.</p>
<p>It appears I’m pretty much alone in the idea of free seating but I dislike formality and dislike being told what to do - especially about silly things like where to sit for some dinner. I’d rather just skip the dinner than put up with that but no doubt I’ll be the only one with that attitude as well. ;)</p>
<p>I’m obviously not helping much here so I’ll leave the comments to the more informed wedding aficionados.</p>
<p>Spouse and I were once the ‘odd men out’ that lookingforward to refers to, above. It was the wedding of younger friends from our church and we ended up at a table with all groom’s relatives - complete strangers to us. All the other church friends were together at a different table. We chatted politely with our assigned group, then squeezed in with our friends after the meal and toasts were over. I did sympathize with the bridal couple’s problem, tho, as we were on the other end of things trying, sweating, over the seating chart for DD’s wedding a couple years later. We had assigned tables, not seats, but it was horribly difficult and we actually didn’t complete the last few assignments until about a half hour before the reception was to begin! It added unnecessary stress to the wedding day, certainly. Still, guests told us later they were glad we had put together a seating list. Reception seating, and the whole issue of who to invite to the wedding (cousins, yes or no, and if yes, all or some?) as well as plus-ones for the kids’ friends who weren’t engaged or anything – it still gives me nightmares!</p>
<p>^The kids sweated over the table arrangements at D’s wedding. Tables could be 6 or 8 person, which gave some flexibility. Had four sets of people to sort–D’s family, SIL’s father’s family, SIL’s mother’s family, and their friends. We made some odd sorts of seating to try to keep everyone at a table that would make them happy. As soon as dinner was over, there was a lot of switching around, but since many people were up and dancing, plus there was a lovely terrace overlooking the sunset over the water with caf</p>
<p>. I don’t mind just having assigned tables, but what often happens is couples sit together talk to each other and don’t mingle. I agree that relatives will want to see each other and if they don’t quite all fit at one table you should relegate just one of them to another table. I don’t think I’ve been to any large party where tables haven’t been assigned - for lab things we are usually with at least one other professor couple, but I always enjoy meeting the family of the bride and groom if that’s where I end up. I don’t need to talk to my husband, I see him every day.</p>
<p>I am sometimes invited to the receptions of weddings that I have performed. At some of them I’ve been assigned to sit with the undesirables (figuring surely the pastor has to be able to tolerate them, I guess). At others I have been seated with the photographer, DJ, etc, sometimes with guests at the same table.</p>
<p>I enjoy watching people look for their name cards if there is no seating chart available. Most start looking up near the head table, assuming that they have places of honor. I can really see where Jesus came up with the parable using that same situation! I</p>
<p>I’m a big fan of assigned seating. If well done, it makes it nicer for everyone.</p>
<p>I went to a friend’s wedding years ago at which there were not enough seats at tables for everyone. The caterer or event planner or whatever had convinced her that the party would flow better if people couldn’t just plop down in a seat. What happened was that the older people nabbed all the seats, and put coats over them if they got up so that no one else could sit there. We ended up sitting on overturned flowerpots to eat dinner, which was a buffet. (It was in a large greenhouse with trees: nice setting.)</p>
<p>My beef at weddings is with people who are so lacking in social graces that they cannot or will not make pleasant conversation with other people at the table, and who don’t dance with people other than their SO, leaving singletons or people with non-dancing SOs to be wall flowers. But that’s another thing altogether. :)</p>
<p>^Do people need a partner to get up and dance, especially an opposite sex one? Most weddings these days I see people getting up to dance pretty much as they want to, except maybe for the slow dances. Lots of group dancing, women together, line dancing, etc. Don’t think anyone needs to be a wallflower.</p>
<p>At the weddings I’ve been to, people dance with another person. In any case, it is simply good manners to ask other people at one’s table to dance, especially if they are alone.</p>
<p>Good grief, can’t type! No don’t put one odd couple at a table. Make two tables both of which are half locals and half relatives and then think about what the locals and relatives have in common so they can enjoy each other. No one seems to ask other people to dance much any more - my husband is pretty good about it. My brother and sil give a dance party every year and I think my borther manages to dance half the dances with his wife and half with other women at the party. At their parties there is a lot of swing dancing, so it really is nice to be asked, though there are plenty of girls who will dance with each other. My brother also has given dancing lessons to most of his kids’ friends so they all can dance and not just shuffle on the dance floor.</p>
<p>I have already discussed with my son (23) that he is expected to be a co-host at his sister’s wedding, and extend himself to all those at his table in particular. I have also told him that while his long-term girlfriend will be there as his date, he should make sure to dance with his sister, his mother, the mother of the groom (who will be attending on her own but likes to dance) and possibly others.
When I mentioned this to a good friend of mine, she said her husband would be sure to invite the mother of the groom to dance as well. (Her H is a real prince!)
But I have also seen what **garland **described, groups of women dancing in a small circle, etc., freely, and am of course fine with that.</p>
<p>Contra dancing has partners, but because you wind up dancing with everyone in your line, it doesn’t matter who it is – male, female, old or young!</p>
<p>I did enjoy dancing with my S as part of the father/daughter dance time! He and sis were both good at getting their grandma out on the floor. S did not have a date at his sis’s wedding ( has one now, two months too late), but I’m pretty sure he danced with all her friends.</p>
<p>^ I would say that the contra dancing well covered that base, CountingDown.
You couldn’t do everything, and you did WAY more than most!!
I remain in awe of all you did for your S’s wedding.</p>
<p>My father was a wedding photographer and he always appreciated having a meal, but he never expected - or wanted - to sit with the guests. Usually, he ate with the band.</p>