My husband’s niece is getting married on Martha’s Vineyard in June. Her fiancé’s family is well to do, so it will be a very nice affair, to say the least.
There is a welcome dinner at the house of the groom’s parents the night before the wedding. The invitation says, “Attire: Summer Festive.”
The wedding is at 2 PM, and the invitation says, “Attire: Summer Cocktail.”
What does this mean my husband and I should wear? Ack, we’re engineers and need help.
For those of us unfamiliar - what are the average temps there at that time of year?
Here’s my interpretation…for the welcome dinner a pretty floral dress would work for you and slacks, button down, and unstructured sports coat for your H.
Cocktail attire to me reads just a step down from formal, but since it’s the summer, can be in a fun color. For your H - I think a suit.
Good question. I looked it up - average high for June is 73 and average low is 57. The wedding is on June 22 so it might be a little warmer. The wedding appears to be indoors, in a church. The reception is at a farm on the water.
To me, “summer festive” means like a nice sundress, cute palazzo pants outfit - summery before fancy.
To me, “summer cocktail” means a step up from above. A little more formal but not a full length fancy gown. Maybe a midi or floral print that is summery or a knee length dress that is not overly formal but DRESSY.
I think it could still be chilly at night on MV in June, but warm during the day if the sun is out (there will likely be a breeze).
For the welcome dinner, I would do a casual floral dress for you and a nice light -colored pair of pants & sport coat for your husband (with maybe a subtle masculine floral dress shirt or a summery color one).
Summer cocktail, I would do a summer color cocktail dress for you, no longer than midi-length and a light colored suit for your husband (linen, maybe) with a summer-color dress shirt (maybe even no-tie!)
I’m going to my friend’s daughter’s wedding in July. She’s a fitness influencer. Her invitation says “Black Tie - Dress Fabulously - No Black”. The wedding dress codes these days - Oy!
ETA - my friend’s daughter is marrying a somewhat controversial young man from the reality TV world, so there could be photogs from Us Weekly/People Mag there (they’ve run bits on them before).
Oh, my gosh, I am going to be stressing about this. I think I need to find a friend whose fashion sense I admire to take me shopping. It doesn’t help that I’ve gained back the weight I lost last year. Time to get serious and at least lose what I can again.
And I know, nobody will be looking at ME but I still want to look decent.
What @abasket wrote, for sure.
You could also wear linen – pants, top if you prefer that over a floral dress.
You can remove some of the stress if you accept the body you have now. I mean that in a very nice way! Maybe just determine that you are going to look for a dress that is flowy as opposed to fitted. You’ll be more comfortable overall. Relax, what a fun occasion place to get to go too!
Editing to say, while I’m sure you want to fit in, I think we often put too much pressure on what we SHOULD wear rather than what we choose to wear that really represents YOU! Are you a floral person? Are you a midi person? Pants over dress? Don’t spend $$ on something that is a costume. Buy something you’ll want to put on and wear again!
100% to abaskets comments! And remember it’s easy to dress up an outfit with accessories and shoes so don’t buy something you’ll only wear once.
If you are more a pants person, maybe something like this for the dinner before the wedding:
And then something like a tunic over light slacks for the wedding (from Coldwater Creek):
Tell us what you like to wear - favorite colors, prints or not, floral or geometric, length, fitted or loose, sleeves or not, and how much you’d like to spend.
You know this group will get right to work. 
Lilly Pulitzer website includes specifics samples of dresses for wedding guests.
Check it out for a variety of ideas.
“Festive” in my area is WASP-speak. So to me, Lily Pulitzer, J. McGlaughlin, Vineyard Vines, Gretchen Scott Designs etc is the vibe I’d be channeling.
Thanks for all the advice! I will respond later - I have to actually get some work done now, ha.
I am seeing a lot of requests for guests to wear long dresses at weddings, even if they are not formal. So you might see more long dresses than knee length depending on the crowd. Sounds fun!
My mid 30’s daughter loves farm Rio. It’s fun, brightly colored clothing. I see this vibe for the welcome dinner.
For the wedding, I see a bit dressier.
I’m also confused about all the dress codes for weddings.
Agree that midi and maxi dresses are what I’m seeing also.
I was also going to say Farm Rio or Anthropology dresses seem to really fit this bill…but I don’t think they always fit the bill for people who are used to more traditional dress wear. And the pricing is often more than what many want to pay for a one-time occasion.
But I agree that that vibe is really, really in right now and fits the bill for Martha’s Vineyard.
This is the dress I am wearing to D1’s welcome drink party the night before the wedding.
https://www.anthropologie.com/anthroliving/shop/the-somerset-maxi-dress2?color=080&source=CATEGORYPRODUCTTRAY&utm_medium=paid_search&utm_source=Google&utm_campaign=US%20-%20NB%20-%20Apparel%20-%20Dresses&utm_content=US%20-%20NB%20-%20Apparel%20-%20Dresses%20-%20DSA&utm_term=DYNAMIC%20SEARCH%20ADS&creative=674398324288&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&utm_kxconfid=vx6rd81ts&gad_source=1&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0v3NitKAhQMVs4jCCB2szgesEAAYASAAEgIMx_D_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds&type=STANDARD&quantity=1
D1 has asked female guests to wear sundresses and male guests to wear Hawaiian shirts for welcome drinks. I think something like this could work for the welcome dinner you are attending.
Love this dress for a welcome party!
I love that dress. I love Anthropologie and think they have a great selection of dresses. The sizes are all over the map.
I have a knock off version of that Anthro dress from Quince. They are less expensive and I think they also have some linen dresses.
