I often like to decide on the shoes first (from the closet or bought new). Or at least the style - for outdoors, I like wedge or low/big block heel.
This wedding is in Boulder, so I’m thinking barefoot (and a flower crown)
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You could go with the general dress code and step it up or down with fabric. As an example, you could wear a shift dress, but it could be dressier if it is silk rather than cotton. During the day a linen dress is nice.
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For man, I would go with seersucker or blue jacket and pants, at night a nice suit.
The Martha’s Vineyard wedding dress shopping sounds like fun possibilities- and abasket has great advice. Adrianna Papell has some good options on their website and Nordstrom and Dillards usually have good online options too! Filter options are handy for shopping. This is a good time to look for those types of dresses!
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I’m not much of a dress person. I wear variations of this sort of outfit instead. https://www.macys.com/shop/product/r-m-richards-3-pc.-sequined-lace-pantsuit-jacket?ID=6044671. https://www.macys.com/shop/product/r-m-richards-3-pc.-sequinned-jacket-necklace-tank-top-pants-set?ID=10436874
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I think this is a cute dress for a summer occasion.
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/7733163?color=359
I keep seeing all kinds of cute dresses for the vineyard wedding. Especially for non petites
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I have a wedding coming up in Gloucester MA at a beach resort, most of the guests are from the NJ/NY area, dress code cocktail/formal. I’m struggling, I own sundresses and funeral attire. I’ve been looking at Nordstrom, with free shipping both ways. Any have any favorite shape wear that is effective yet somewhat comfortable? I have month.
I bought this recently to wear for my daughter’s wedding based on a similar recommendation from @ChoatieMom - it is more SMOOTHING than shaping. I cannot do a tight corset like garment! This fit me well, I think you could also size down a bit and have it be MORE smoothing/shaping. Snaps on the bottom! I didn’t want to spend a fortune for a rare wearing.
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I thought this dress was beautiful and seems glamorous beachy to me (free shipping):
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So pretty, but my body issues are more apple shaped, carry everything in the gut, no hips. Back in the day (50+ pounds ago) I still never had a nice hourglass figure, just straight up and down. I’m definitely wearing shape wear, but not counting on miracles! 
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(I often think our clothing “asks” should ALWAYS include a little about your preferences, including preferences for your comfort in your body and budget!!!) It can be defeating to fall in love with a outfit you can’t afford or are willing to spend on a possible one time occasion - or in some other way doesn’t work out for you!
Signed,
People All Over The World In All Shapes/Sizes/Dollar Desires
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Just ordered, will give it a go.
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I have a short, pear shaped body. Not overweight (bmi 22), but definitely bottom-heavy. Finding the right MOB/MOG dresses was hard with smaller sized top half…. made worse by the need for Petite. Normally I don’t wear shapewear, but for son’s wedding I did get some mellow shapewear briefs for smoothing and a padded bra. Never considered trying to find a one piece shapewear ideal for both halves (if I still wore bikinis, I’d shop for those pieces separately too.)
Just a heads up. I have one of those smoothers @abasket linked. It’s heavier and not as stretchy as the lacy one. I’m more aware that I have that one on than the lightweight lacy smoother which is not tight at all (based on the size you order, of course). I’ve tried so many of these because I prefer a one-piece, but I landed on the lacy one for stretch, breathability (it gets hot here in AZ), and light weight. Both do a great job of erasing all lines, though. I just find the lacy one more comfortable (don’t know I’m wearing it).
ETA: A plus on the one @abasket linked is that the bra is more solid if you need more support.
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I would have probably ordered yours but my size was not available!
And in the end, I can use more bra support so it’s all good!
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Totally agree that the one that meets your preferences is best. I just wanted to comment because I have both and that’s how I compare them.
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I have so much to consider! I’m so unstylish I don’t even know what I like. I look better in dresses than skirts, that’s about all I know.
My sister in law is coming in a few weeks for the eclipse. She used to work in the fashion industry. I’m going to go through this thread with her, and then she said we can go shopping! Yay! She will be honest about what looks good or not.
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In your area do you have a Dillards (or Macy’s or other local store with a mailorder option)? Sometimes it can help to order a few starter ideas, try them on for style and size at home. Then you can return at your first store visit.
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