Not being able to have children does not prevent someone marrying in the Church. The issue is with actively preventing pregnancy. Which is why NFP is acceptable. NFP was taught in my pre-Cana class 30 years ago and is still taught in my parish. Most of us ignore it, but it’s taught.
As for someone up thread who said most annulments are based on events that happened before the marriage that is not true. Adultery is a valid reason to request an annulment as is abusive behavior or abandonment. A co-worker recently received an annulment because after several years of marriage his wife decided she didn’t want kids after all.
@jym626 , Catholic rules don’t matter to a non-Catholic. If you’re not compliant with their rules, you’re not married in their view, but why should this matter? You are still married in the eyes of the law.
And even though in the US, a religious ceremony counts, it’s not actually the ceremony that makes the couple legally married , it’s the signing of the marriage license in the presence of witnesses. The night before our wedding, our clergyman had us sign the paper and then jokingly said, “Technically, you’re legally married, so if you wanted to run off now, your marriage would be valid.” He had all of his couples sign the document at the rehearsal because early in his career, he’d had a couple neglect to sign it, and even though they had the ceremony, their marriage wasn’t legal until they returned to sign after their honeymoon.
My daughter and future SIL just finished the natural family planning seminar. It was taught as part of their pre-marital counseling retreat. She said it was very helpful and offered more data points than the so-called rhythm method. When used correctly, which requires a great deal of self-control, I imagine, it’s about 86% effective. Not as good as artificial methods, but not bad for those trying to follow the church’s teachings. And I know a number of evangelicals who use the same approach. It’s not just Catholics.
", it’s the signing of the marriage license in the presence of witnesses. The night before our wedding, our clergyman had us sign the paper and then jokingly said, “Technically, you’re legally married, so if you wanted to run off now, your marriage would be valid.”’
He’s right and unfortunately not joking–but I certainly wouldn’t be happy if someone did that to me (can you sue?)–I think you might need those extra 24 hours…
hate to think someone decides to call it all off only to find themselves already married without any “I do’s”.
Marriage is state law. Some states won’t recognize the marriage until the signed license is returned and filed with the clerk. Other states have different rules. In Colorado, a common law state, all you have to do is hold yourself out as married and you don’t really need to buy the license at all nor does the ceremony (not even required) have to be performed by a licensed minister or judge.
A friend lost her marriage license before the ceremony and the officiant refused to marry them until they got a judge on the phone who said it would be fine and they could get a duplicate license from the courthouse in the future.
Not sure which post from several days ago you are responding to, @Massmomm, but it was a genuine question to understand, as the discussion was talking about the “rules” to “remarry” in the eyes of the church, and not being a member of that religion, it was an attempt to understand from that POV. It isn’t about whether it “matters”. Not sure if you meant your post to sound snarky, but it did. Apologies if you didn’t intend it to sound that way, but that’s how it came across.
My s is marrying a Catholic in a week (first marriage for both, no one is remarrying) , and clearly from the discussion here, their marriage will not be considered “valid” in the eyes of the church. But no, it doesn’t “matter” to most of us in the family. Not sure if it will or won’t “matter” to her dad, based on what he said to his kids a long time ago, but given his behaviors, he doesn’t seem to care to follow the church doctrines, so… if it “matters” to him, oh well…