I recently attended a wedding held in a lovely outdoor venue, conducted by a Catholic bishop, assisted by a deacon. The officiants wore long cassocks with beautiful overlays and the bishop wore a red skull cap. I was surprised at their dress, given the venue.
The ceremony was in contrast to other Catholic weddings I have previously attended. It was obviously not a mass and there was no promise to raise their children according to Catholic doctrine, as I remember from the past. There were Scripture readings from the Old and New Testaments.
I know the bride is a baptized Catholic but I’m unsure about the groom’s spiritual background. Her mother insisted that her father convert to Catholicism before she’d marry him, so the bride’s background is rather conservative. I expected a secular wedding when I read the invitation and saw the venue.
Can anyone enlighten me about changes in the Catholic Church? Is this the norm nowadays? Maybe I’m simply behind the times!
Perhaps I should have prefaced this by saying it’s not my intention to step on anyone’s toes regarding their faith–Simply seeking information!
The outdoor ceremony surprises me but I haven’t kept up with protocol on weddings in the Catholic church. Back in the day, mass or not, ceremonies had to take place in a church. I do know thinks can really vary from diocese to diocese. Back in my day, converting wasn’t necessary like it was in my parents day.
It’s possible to have a Catholic ceremony without a Mass but extremely unusual.
The bishop officiating is a also extremely unusual. It could happen but is very rare. It makes me wonder if the family is connected somehow.
The combination of all these unusual factors makes me interested…like it makes me wonder if it’s a particularly liberal diocese or even if it’s some rogue group.
I don’t know all the answers but I do know that when I was married 20 something years ago, we could have chosen not to have a full mass at our wedding.
The priest has some latitude in what he considers a Catholic marriage and is willing to officiate. My wife and I had to say we would raise our kids as Catholics. Some friends getting married at their college had to get letters of reference from their home priests stating that they were in good standing and regularly attended Mass. Other friends had an outdoor Catholic wedding with full Mass where only the groom was Catholic.
When my grandmother married a protestant (scandalous !) they couldn’t get married at the altar, they had to stay behind some area. When I married my husband he had to sign an agreement that the children would be raised Catholic. We couldn’t have any secular music, couldn’t have a photographer at a certain distance.
I have never heard of a Catholic wedding outside. You can marry a non Catholic at a different venue, and get it approved by the church, but I think you’d have a hard time finding a priest, let alone a bishop, who would do that. I don’t think it’s biblical, and I doubt it’s in the catechism, I think it’s just some kind of we don’t do that kind of thing.
That’s a really odd combination of things- outside, Bishop, maybe only one Catholic? Are you entirely sure that this was a Catholic Bishop? There are several different Christian leaders who wear those red skull caps.
Generally speaking, catholic weddings must be in catholic churches, but bishops can approve a different setting. As others have posted, there seem to be a few places where this is being allowed. But still very rare. Marriage is a sacrament in the chuch, so having it in a church reinforces that.
At least one bishop is acknowledging that many young catholics are deciding not to get married in a church in order to have the wedding the way they want it to be. My friend’s daughter had a small wedding in a church but did an entire other ceremony at the wedding venue to have the wedding where she wanted it to be.
If the bishop was there, he probably granted permission for the wedding to be out of doors.
My mother did not convert, nor did my husband. In her day, they could not be married in the cathedral, but were in a chapel. We were in the church and even had a non-Catholic assisting the priest on the alter.
My guess is that the groom is not a baptized Christian, so the wedding in the eyes of the Church was a valid ceremony, but not a sacrament. Sounds like they went through all the proper steps with any dispensations that might have been deemed necessary so the Church would not say that the Catholic party completed an “irregular” marriage. If the groom would later become baptized, most likely the marriage could be blessed and considered sacramental.
Presumably, the couple completed pre-marital counseling with Catholic priest or designee. This is where the raising of kids would be covered - not included in the vows or service. The Catholic party is generally urged to make every effort to raise the kids Catholic. I’ve been told that things have relaxed since earlier days with the explicit “promise” required by the non-Catholic - but I’m sure there are individual differences around.
For two Catholics or one Catholic and a baptized Christian from another denomination ( exception of a few Protestant baptisms not recognized like those for Mormons), I believe it is still generally expected that the marriage will be conducted in a consecrated space. This can be, with proper dispensation, a Protestant church with a Catholic clergy member blessing the marriage. Of course, things can vary diocese by diocese depending on how the letter of the law is interpreted.
If both parties are not Catholic, many couples do not have a full Mass. With a few exceptions, non-Catholics are technically not eligible to receive Communion at a Catholic Mass potentially making for awkwardness.
Or, maybe it was Old Catholic. Or maybe an Eastern Catholic Church (I don’t know their rules) Or maybe a rogue Roman Catholic diocese!
Or, my information is all wrong based on other responses and news articles! Interesting to see the changes and decisions by different Bishops in different diocese.
My Protestant daughter is marrying a Catholic man in December. The ceremony will be in our church with our pastor presiding. His bishop will give a blessing and the homily. She is not converting and she can not/will not receive communion in his church. They are required to go through the entire pre Cana process, as well as the counseling process in our church.
OP here…I’m certain they were Catholic. The deacon introduced himself and the bishop by name and clarified where they were from. Interestingly, the couple had no connection to the diocese from which the officiants came–they were from a diocese that neighbors the venue area but in another state. Perhaps it is a “liberal diocese”? Another ‘different’ component to the ceremony was ‘hand-fasting’. The groom has Irish roots and the priest mentioned it was a traditional part of Celtic weddings. He literally tied the couple’s hands together. No unity candle but suppose it had the same symbolism!
My marriage to a non-Catholic, technically pagan, (since he is not baptized anything) was and is part of the sacrament of marriage. We were married 30+ years ago and had the option to make it the wedding ceremony only w/o the Mass, but chose the Mass.
There is plenty of latitude, but much depends on where the parish is located; some areas are far more conservative than others. Also, some parishes are far more conservative than others w/in the same diocese.
I thought a red skull cap was for Cardinals, not an ordinary Bishop.
For those who aren’t clicking on the link posted previously, yes, it is now possible for a Catholic wedding to be held somewhere other than a Catholic church. Here is the excerpt from the WaPo article about how the Archdiocese of Baltimore is handling such requests:
*The code of canon law, straight from the Vatican, says that marriages performed by a priest are meant to be celebrated in the bride or groom’s parish church.
But some U.S. dioceses are starting to test the boundaries of that law, which says that with permission of the proper Catholic authority, a priest can perform a marriage in “another suitable place.”*
There are limitations such as no bars or clubs, but it can be done at the discretion of the diocese and parish.
As far as the questions about whether a Catholic ceremony needs to be a full mass or not, that has been at the discretion of the couple for a very long time.
Often as a courtesy priests from other parishes/dioceses will be allowed to perform ceremonies in a different parish/diocese if there is a particular connection with the couple to be married. For instance, we had one priest officiate at the wedding of his granddaughter in a different state (yes, the priest was a grandfather - he entered into the priesthood some years after becoming a widower).
When my Catholic mother married my no-religion father in 1956, they were married by a priest in her home church, but the ceremony was conducted at a “side” altar. My brother and I were raised Catholic, but my father never agreed to that (or cared). Mom later “converted” to an evangelical faith and bro and I were kicked out of the Catholic school and sent mid-academic-year over to the (gasp!) public school.
I think it’s nice to see the church changing a bit with the times.