Weddings Minus Covid

Parent Cafe
21

I would include covid requirements with the RSVP, not 2 weeks prior to the wedding.
D1 had a 1 year old birthday party for GD in January this year. In the invitation she included
Requirements:

We ask guests to all be vaccinated and boosted.

If you plan to attend, we ask you to avoid being indoors without a mask for the 5 - 7 days leading up to the event (workplace without a mask / indoor dining etc).

We will ask all guests to get a PCR test as close as testing turnarounds will allow (imagine Wednesday / Thursday would be most reasonable)

We will ask all guests to take a rapid test on Sunday morning (we can provide some if needed)

We completely understand that this is a lot to ask of our family and friends whether it be changing your behaviors, finding testing or being indoors in a room with 10 - 15 people. Please let us know if you might be interested in attending or if it is too challenging right now.

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22

I’m a wedding stationer, so this has been a part of my job for 2 years now!

On your Details Card, I’d keep it clear and simple and direct guests to your wedding website for up-to-date local guidelines. There you can go into specifics if you want to elaborate. We’re in the Chicago area and during peaks the protocols change whether you’re in the city or in Cook County and then suburb-to-suburb. It didn’t make sense for my clients to put anything too detailed in print.

I thought this one was great — my client’s parents are both physicians, and the groom’s father was battling cancer, and him being there was a priority. They had a couple of wedding party members bow out at the last minute because they refused to be vaccinated:

For the health and safety of everyone in attendance, we are requiring all of our wedding guests to be fully vaccinated and boosted against COVID-19.
(You could then mention here if rapid tests on the wedding day will also be required.)

For up-to-date local guidelines and for information about travel and accommodations,
please visit our wedding website:
www dot example dot com

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23

But they are reducing serious illness and death. That’s the goal. Keep people alive and keep hospital capacities manageable. So it does matter when planning events like this.

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24

I think at a private event the hosts can ask pretty much whatever they want of the guests, and then the guests can decide whether or not to attend.

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25

At this point in life of this virus, I believe everyone has the information they need to make an educated decision about whether or not they feel safe to attend a wedding or other event. If the wedding couple is so worried about it, perhaps they don’t host the event. I know a 92 year old woman who just attended the same HUGE wedding we attended last week. No masks, No vaccine requirements, “regular” buffet (not individual serving-sized offerings). Where we live, it is a non-issue. Life must go on!

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26

This testing method may not be very effective compared to testing immediately before entry. 72 hours before gives plenty of time for someone who tests negative to get infected after the test, or for a pre-detectable infection to become contagious by the time of the event. Rapid testing immediately before entering the event reduces both of these testing holes, although it is not 100%.

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27

That’s good, my 93 year old MIL was hospitalized for Covid about 6 weeks ago, my 94 year old FIL recovered at home.

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I am sure your at risk relatives will appreciate knowing the precautions you are taking that shows how valuable their presence is to your family. You are also showing you care enough to take steps to allow them to attend in as secure a situation as possible.

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29

@ucbalumnus this isn’t my wedding. They are doing the best they can. They are having rapid tests available at the wedding venue also.

At this point, nothing is 100%.

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30

Actually, that’s a misconception. Perhaps people think they can accurately evaluate their risk, but we all know that humans are very poor predictors of risk for all types of things (like the people who drive cross country because they’re afraid to fly). When it comes to evaluating covid risk, this article explains pretty well how why, outside of experts, the typical person cannot evaluate risk adequately. https://insidemedicine.bulletin.com/are-large-indoor-events-safe-it-s-impossible-to-know-making-personal-choice-a-false-one/

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31

Nope. This is what I said, and it’s a key point that is not being communicated and should be.

In other words: To get covid, the virus has to be circulating. With a vaccine that’s 95% effective, if everyone in the world were vaccinated, covid would not be circulating. Not enough people are vaccinated. Therefore, the virus still circulates and anyone can get it.

The key point is that vaccination is more a a population solution than it is an individual solution. If we want covid to go away, we must reach a population threshold of vaccination coverage, which for a 95% effective vaccine is probably somewhere around 80-85% of the population. This is not hard to understand, but the nation as a whole seems to have forgotten. Smallpox 100% stopped circulating because 100% of humans on the globe got vaccinated. Measles, mumps, rubella … extremely rare because a critical threshold of people get vaccinated. (Graduate degree in public health, so AMA about the population effect of vaccines.)

tl;dr
BUT FOR unvaccinated people, there would be no covid circulating in the population.

As for the wedding: A vaccinated person is less likely than an unvaccinated person to be infected, and, if infected, will likely be carrying a lower viral load. Second: I think that vaccination status tends to be a proxy for how careful the person is about covid mitigation for themselves and others.

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32

True. It won’t be risk-free.

33

I think the most effective thing you can do is to ask for testing on the day of. To be courteous, I would offer to provide free rapid testing on site (a half hour or so before the event) for those who don’t have access to a test (although most people should).

Personally, very recent testing makes me feel far safer than vaccine requirements. I recently got my 4th shot, so obviously I believe in vaccines. But with the high rate of recent cases, I think the whole situation is far muddier than it was a year ago. Now, I’d rather sit next to an unvaccinated person who recovered from Omicron 3 weeks ago than a vaccinated person who had their last shot or booster 6 months ago. It’s just not as clear as it used to be. It seems that most unvaccinated people have recently had Omicron. So require vaccines if you want, but I doubt that adds too much protection these days. One thing I would never do: require guests to upload their vaccine card. I would do that for a work event or other non-personal event, but not for loved ones I’m inviting to my wedding. It seems cringey to me to imply you don’t trust the kinds of people you’d invite to your wedding to be honest about their status. So even if asking only vaccinated people to come, I would hesitate to have an upload feature. I am sure other people may feel differently, but as an event amongst loved ones, that strikes me as icky.

I think the best protection you can offer your guests:
*. Day of testing for everyone (BEST and most effective rule, IMO)
*. Excellent ventilation, including as much outdoors as possible, as much open windows as possible, and pony up for major league HEPA filter air purifiers to put throughout the venue. Perhaps you can borrow some from friends. Very good ones are available on amazon for approximately $250 each; I would think you’d need several of those for a wedding venue.
*. Ample spacing. At my wedding 28 years ago, we got too many rsvps and crammed people in there :joy:. You can pointedly do the opposite. Provide a space far bigger than required for the number of guests, so the tables can be amply spaced (both spaced away from other tables, and hopefully have only 8 people sit at a table that might be able to accommodate 12).

By the way, I love places (restaurants, homes, etc) where people make it clear what the ventilation/filtration situation is. There are a couple of local restaurants that have very obvious air purification units visible to all, with signs that explain their ventilation situation. I love that, it gives me a lot of comfort. So if you do bring like 10-15 units with you, on your card that asks people to do day-of rapid testing, you could mention that you will be providing enhanced air filtration and ample spacing. It seems gracious to offer up what YOU are doing to increase safety, while asking a favor of your guests.

I think much of the safety is under the hosts’ control, especially in terms of ventilation and sufficient spacing. Then, pray for the best!! BEst of luck, this is such an exciting event, I hope you can fully enjoy it, hooray for your family!!!

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34

Thank you! All of these are great suggestions, especially the HEPA units. I can buy a whole lot of them on my credit card, then sell them on my local buy/sell group.

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35

I would think they would re-sell well. I have 2 large-capacity ones in my house that I bought in fall 2020 and love using. Makes me feel much better when we have company over. I also thought they’d be handy to stick by the bedroom door of anyone who became covid positive in the house, but fortunately they have not been called to that duty yet. I never used them before covid, but I love running them even though it’s mostly just my husband and I home—they really do clean the air—there’s an outer fabric filter (HEPA filter inside), and I can see all sorts of dust and stuff the fabric one catches and I need to wash that often. I had no idea all this stuff was floating around in our air!! Plus all of the microscopic stuff.

36

Maybe you can rent the HEPA air purifiers!!

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37

Just read this opinion piece in WaPo. Spot-on and the reason to do the best we can with mitigation measures.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2022/05/12/stop-dismissing-long-covid-pandemic-symptoms/

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38

Agree that testing immediately before (not 3 days before) is part of the first line of mitigation. Having as much of the event as possible outdoors is another part.

Unfortunately, some recent research suggests that Omicron BA.4 and BA.5 are likely to escape immune response from recovery from Omicron BA.1.

Other research suggests that immune response from prior infection is like that of one dose of vaccine, but prior infection and vaccination gives the strongest immune response. Basically:
I + V > 3V > 2V > V or I > none

What that means is that if you want to require vaccination, there are some scenarios that make sense:

  • Basic level: full vaccination or verified prior infection.
  • Basic level assumed: no requirement, assume that any unvaccinated person has gotten infected by now.
  • Higher level: full vaccination + booster to at least three doses (or as much as eligible for), or verified prior infection and vaccination.
39

Yes, I read thiis bummer info coming out of South Africa. And when/if BA.4 or BA.5 become dominant here (and if we see the same), I’ll possibly feel differently. I also didn’t see clear info that they are much more likely to escape immune response to BA2, but I’m sure we’ll know more in a month. So in the meantime, I’d still definitely rather sit next to someone who recovered from Omicron 3 weeks ago (likely Omicron 2.something) than someone with a vaccine that’s 6 or more months old, but you/others could feel differently. I just think things are muddier than they used to be. But I don’t mean to derail this discussion about the wedding planning! Apologies Brantley!

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40

And even with this….folks are testing COVID positive. Two shots plus at least one booster, and have had COVID…and are getting it for a second time.

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