Weight loss - now regaining - help!

Parent Cafe
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<p>Last spring, I lost 40 pounds. A lot for anyone, really a lot when you are 5’1". I thought I had my lifelong battle with my weight finally licked. Everything had finally come together - exercise, portion control and the all important mental component. Kept it off all summer, was pretty good in the fall, then realized a few pounds had crept back on by year-end. I can’t even explain what happened the past few weeks - bad weather, work stress - I hate making excuses. I realized I was sliding - headfirst - into my old habits. Noticed pants that had been loose now feeling tight, but remained in state of denial until I finally weighed myself today. Have regained 14 pounds! </p>

<p>I am so disappointed. This has been my pattern my entire life - lose weight - then regain it all with an additional 10 pounds for good measure. I am terrified of ending up back where I was or even heavier. I am desperately trying to get back on the wagon - had a good day in terms of food and exercise - but I really feel like an alcoholic who has lost months of sobriety and is back at day 1. </p>

<p>I know there are a few weight loss threads on here - for those of you who have been successful - how do you deal with this situation? I am just so angry with myself. And I know that anger is a huge trigger for me to overeat. I need a way to feel positive again - but am at a loss, no pun intended.</p>

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<p>Does not help to be angry with yourself. Does help to analyze what went wrong? Did you stop weighing yourself every day? Stop tracking your food? Start eating a cookie with lunch? Start eating lunch with colleagues or going out to dinner with DH? Write it all down and start trying to change ONE tiny thing every four days. I just went through this (at only three pounds up, though) and decided to go with this approach: <a href=“The New Way to Love Food - The Atlantic”>The New Way to Love Food - The Atlantic; as a jumpstart. Five pounds down and feel great, it’s very easy to do.</p>

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<p>The number one mistake people make is they change their frame of mind when they switch from weight loss to maintenance. There is no, “hooray, I’m done!” You’re never done, even if you are done losing the same habits have to stick. It is easy to slowly backslide without noticing the subtle changes if you don’t stay vigilant, and most people do-- it is normal for your weight to waver a bit. You wavered a little more than a bit, but that’s okay-- you caught it. You have to stick to the old routine-- measuring your portions, not eyeballing, doing your exercises, etc.</p>

<p>Think of it this way-- 14lbs is a lot easier to lose than 40! You are not starting all over again! You are not at day 1! Day one is 25lbs away, that is still a lot of weight lost. It is a GREAT step that you caught it only 14lbs in, especially if your pattern is to regain all of it and then some. This means you BROKE your pattern! You can still do this!</p>

<p>Go back to what worked before, keep a log to track your behavior, and I bet the weight will go back down before you know it. If you continue to struggle, see your doctor just to make sure nothing is amiss-- sometimes weight gains are not our fault. But if you know you got lax about your routine, start there. This is a tough time of year for everybody, and we are human. Weight never stays fully stagnant, there will always be ups and downs. 14lbs is not 40lbs, remember that. You are not starting from scratch. You only have a little way to go to get back and now you know how to do it. Get to it!</p>

<p>ETA: And just one extra note I want to add, try to forgive yourself now. If you punish yourself it will be harder to stick to the new routine because you will feel bad about it instead of feeling GOOD about it. Weight loss only works when you let yourself feel GOOD about it. Try to tell yourself you are a human, not a machine, and weight fluctuates. Your weight fluctuated, which is normal, and now you are going to work to bring it back down, which is also normal. It’s all okay. Give yourself a pat on the back for recognizing your backslide and ending your denial, forgive yourself, and feel GOOD! You are on the right track again just by posting this.</p>

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<p>Send your husband who can eat a gallon of ice cream a night and keeps the fridge stocked to the Canyon Ranch so his metabolism can be analyzed.</p>

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<p>Thank you! Good pep talk. I realize I have stopped daily weigh-ins, was eating out more, was not walking daily due to weather, etc. I am very glad that I caught it now. I just have to put this issue back as a top priority in my life and keep it there. I really thought I had “solved” my weight issue and now I am realizing that it is here to stay and that is so disheartening.</p>

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<p>Your loss was fairly recent, too. I am still trying to lose, but the bulk of my loss was over a year ago and now I am just slowly whittling away the last few. Something I have noticed is that when you give yourself enough time to adjust to the changes you’ve made to your lifestyle, you no longer notice you are making them. It is no longer a sacrifice to me to not go out to eat every week, or to only eat sweets once or twice a month. It’s no longer a bother to actually get the food scale out and measure a portion instead of just guessing, it takes 1 second longer. You get used to it. In that sense, I have “solved” my weight problem in that I never have to think about those things anymore. But nobody ever except the very metabolically blessed gets to go about their adult life doing whatever they want without having to worry about gaining weight. It just doesn’t work that way. And I think it must be almost nobody whose weight doesn’t occasionally creep up, especially in winter. Your weight will always be in a state of flux, just like everybody else’s. Maybe a 5lb or so variance would make you happier-- that’s certainly attainable. But you have to expect variance. Your weight occasionally creeping up doesn’t mean failure, it just means your body is human and you are alive and body weight is not an exact science. Where you get into trouble is when you are gaining with reckless abandon and it’s completely out of your control and you either don’t know how to fix it or don’t have the strength or inclination. That’s not you! You are not that person anymore!</p>

<p>I think your weight problem IS gone, in the sense that you know now what you need to do and that you are capable, and you are willing to see the signs that things are slipping and make the necessary changes. That’s all ANYBODY can do. That will be a lifelong skill, yes-- you’ll never be able to stop doing that and expect your weight to stay the same. But the “problem” of out of control gaining and lack of ability or skill to bring it back down, you have solved that problem by stopping at 14lbs and getting back into gear. You actually should be really, really proud of yourself today for being able to slam on the brakes and get back to business. That is really hard to do. It is so easy to get discouraged and quit and you’re not doing that.</p>

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<p>The hard part is that, unlike alcohol, you NEED to eat some food. That’s the challenge. How much is too much? I think it’s just plain hard to know you have to change your habits forever. Who wants a forever? But now that we have beautiful weekend coming in, despite the cold snap we’re expected later this week, it’ll be time to get out there. And vent here if you need it.</p>

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<p>Thanks for the encouragement. Have already laid out exercise clothes for morning walk - back on the plan! And I am glad to have caught it now - just have to refocus and rededicate and get motivated. </p>

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<p>So glad you started this thread! I need it. This is a terrific reminder: </p>

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<p>I weigh myself pretty much every day. It’s a habit. What surprises me is that the day after some pretty intense exercise for me is that my weight is usually up. The next day it’s down. Being able to track that and see where I’m at helps me nip any gains in the bud. Maintenance is where I always struggle but I’m trying to stop any creep by the daily weighing. </p>

<p>RVM, I’d love it if we could keep this thread going to support you in your weight loss and then to focus on maintaining a healthy weight. It would be a huge help for me too. I’m so afraid of regaining weight. </p>

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<p>I’m with you! Back to the daily morning weigh in, back to planning every meal the night before, back to my hour long daily walk. Clearly I need support/accountability - so let’s do it!</p>

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<p>Tracking food from time to time really helps. But Emaheevu is right, you have to realize you are on a life long eating plan. You may find it easier to lose less quickly, but be eating at the level you want to be eating for the rest of your life. That means you have to have a plan for how to deal with meals out, parties etc. FWIW, for most restaurants I only eat half of what they serve, the rest comes home for the next days lunch. For parties, I’ve been making a concerted effort to drink as much water as I do wine. Despite my best efforts I always gain a bit in December - just too many temptations. </p>

<p>For me the hardest piece is exercise. For me it makes a surprising difference to do 5-10 minutes a few times a day. A set of kettleball swings, some goblet squats and a set of pushups gets my heart pumping and seems to make a real difference to my metabolism.</p>

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<p>Best advice my bff gave me, when we were dieting for a reunion: if you fall off the wagon one day, get right back on it, the next. No guilt, just get back on the plan. </p>

<p>Sabaray, good point about tracking- each of us has to know our own patterns. I’m good with occasional harder exercise, it’s like a jump start. Can cheat very cautiously and be ok. But for heaven’s sake, I can’t eat broth based soup when I diet- I always gain the next day or the 2nd day after. Odd.</p>

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<p>Try using my fitness pal app. Seeing just how many calories are in that one lousy bag of cookies, and how big a chunk it took out of my calorie bank was really key for me. I too lost 40 lbs last spring, after a bad fall/surgery. So it came off in all the wrong ways, and now I’m battling the weight creeping up again. If I am diligent in logging, it’s kinda in your face therapy…do I really want that cookie enough to reduce my dinner portions? Usually the answer is no. And btw, I log my entire day in the a.m. So I know, bite for bite, what I can have. I’m lazy and don’t like going back and correcting my log, but I’m OCD so I have to if I indulge. This too, helps keep me from wavering. Good luck!</p>

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<p>I find if I start slipping that keeping a food journal helps me see where I’m going off track. It only takes a few days to see what I need to change. I’ve lost 98 over almost three years. If I do it slowly, it will be an ingrained habit (I hope). I still have to watch every bite. My metabolism just stinks. OTOH, every pound you lose helps your overall health.</p>

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<p>I worked so hard to lose 90 pounds that I have a personal commitment to never let that happen again. I have a five pound window. When I hit the top of that window (seems like every year right after Christmas – I am starting to suspect that there’s a seasonal aspect), I know its time to tighten up I track my food for a month so I’m confronted with all the little places I’ve let things slip – for me, slipping is extra handfuls of nuts and two apples instead of one a day, and just generallly letting portions creep up.</p>

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<p>The other piece of advice I would have. If you are someone who puts on weight easily, there’s a high likelihood that you are insulin resistant. To the extent that you are insulin resistant, you’ll tilt the odds in your favor a bit if you can take a hard look at your diet and ditch sugar and grains. Just pick something and kiss it good bye. For example, I stopped having a tortilla when I make fajitas. I missed it at first, but a little extra cheese and brown the plate under the broiler and now I don’t miss the tortilla at all. That was just empty carbs that wasn’t doing me a bit of good nutritionally.</p>

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<p>In the same boat. Lost forty five and have regained twenty. Am struggling to get back on track and even with clean eating the numbers seem stuck. I haven’t tracked the food so I must do that starting today.</p>

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<p>Wishing you good luck! Years ago I could never relate to weight issues, I actually had periods where I was trying very hard to gain weight. I have had significant stress in my life and my response to it is to eat everything in sight and to eat unhealthy foods. I know better as a former athlete and life time exerciser and clean eater. My point being that I am totally sensitive to this struggle. When you know better and do things you shouldn’t do anyway it is especially infuriating/ discouraging. I will agree that self loathing has no purpose, if you stray, don’t beat yourself up just get back on the path that has worked for you previously. Best Wishes!</p>

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<p>Thank you all for the advice and encouragement.</p>

<p>IntetestedDad - I am prediabetic and my physician has asked me to really focus on cutting down on carbs and sugar and to focus on a diet high in protien and vegatables. I think this is an area I have really fallen down on in past few weeks… The lousy weather - death of our dog - I have been spending too much time on the couch and have been craving/eating carbs. </p>

<p>I cannot honestly say that I have no idea how the weight gain happened - I see the factors very clearly now, which is good. Corrective action underway. Heading out for walk now.</p>

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<p>What you need to remember is that as you were losing weight, and eating less, your body starting requiring fewer calories. If you start eating the normally required calories a day (for instance 1,800) you could start gaining weight, even though that amount of calories SHOULD be the right amount to maintain your weight.</p>

<p>How do I know this? Been there, done that. I hate it, and know what you are going through.</p>

<p>Here’s what I have learned to do. It’s not fun, and it makes me feel like I’m on a diet for a longer period of time, but it works. Keep a notebook of what you eat each day, and keep track of the total number of calories you consume each day. As you are trying to ease into maintenance eating, increase calories by about 300 a day, being careful that those extra 300 are still healthy foods. Then on the third or fourth day, cut those 300 calories for a few days. Keep rotating- 300 more for a few days, not adding them a few days. Weigh yourself each day to see how you are doing. Then, and this is the fun part for me, really shake up your metabolism, and have a 2,000 calorie day. Noice I said day. Just one day. Go ahead. splurge. I usually do this on a day we are going out to dinner. Those glasses of wine really add up. <:-P Not to mention the fried pickles. However, it is critical that you cut your caloric intake the next few days.</p>

<p>From my personal experience, I started to keep a notebook of my daily intake of foods about six months ago. (Thank you to the weight loss thread for this idea.) I lost 15 pounds, and then plateaued. So I decided to use this plateau to try to maintain and get back to eating about 1,800 calories a day. I have been doing the “trick your metabolism” method for about 2-3 months. So far so good.</p>

<p>After my metabolism gets used to 1,800 a day, and the weather gets warmer so that I can walk a full hour a day, I’m going to start dieting again. But I know I have to factor in the extra months to get my metabolism back to normal again.</p>

<p>Another trick I have learned, is to never go more than three hours without eating. This is to keep your metabolism working. So I’ll eat an apple or some other healthy snack, three hours after a meal. I also eat as soon as I can when I awake in the morning, and eat a healthy snack a few hours after my evening meal.</p>

<p>You can do it!! I know you can. PM me if you want more details.</p>

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<p>Rockvillemom, I also started off as prediabetic and my DH and mom already had diabetes, so that was powerful motivation. I am a carb addict – I have tried to replace the junk carbs with whole grains and fruit so at least if I crave them, I am eating healthier. Have noticed that I gain weight with white carbs.</p>

<p>I have tried to eat in a way I can live with rather than feeling deprived, because I am going to have to live with this the rest of my life. I also have to count sodium, fat and Vit K because of my cardiac issue. Finding low-fat alternatives that are delicious are a lot easier than they used to be (0% Greek yogurt is my friend). The hardest part is finding low sodium stuff. Everything in the pantry has salt! </p>

<p>I shop around the periphery of the grocery store – that’s where the healthier food lives.</p>