<p>A good friend of mine is a real smart cookie, really passionate about learning, has a wonderful attitude towards work (and life in general) and a complete straight A student, headed for valedictorian. He comes not from a family rolling in the benjamins, but middle to upper middle class. Now i know i shouldn’t be judgemental, not knowing the family’s financial situation or dynamics, but honestly I think his parents are closing off a lot of options for him. They basically will not pay anything they do not absolutely ‘have’ to i.e. extra classes for credit etc. Perhaps there are reasons for that (and I do realise paying for college is not an obligation but a privilege to many), but honestly if he were my kid I would at least encourage him and take an active interest in his future.
His parents will not have anything to do with any part of his college education, but nor are they willing to sit down and discuss college (i.e. his options, how he can start preparing, what student loans will entail for him). My friend certainly does not expect them to pay but they are sent into a bad mood about anything related to my friend’s education and plans for the future whenever my friend tries to bring it up. The attitude seems to be overwhelmingly “It’s good, go to college, but it’s none of our business and we don’t want to hear about it.” If it’s a sense of responsibility they are trying to prepare him for, it feels more like they’re just throwing him straight to the sharks without preparing him or giving him advice what’s in store. Also my friend has a mild disability sustained in an accident years ago that affects his mobility not significantly, but will limit his part-time job options.</p>
<p>My question is, what options are there when financially able parents will not pay a cent? Typically with a kid who has such good grades, can scholarships help cover the bulk of funds? how about things like accomodation etc?</p>
<p>I would ask him to consider schools that offer full-ride merit scholarships. The flagship public U might be a good choice depending on your state. Other schools that offer full-ride to National Merit Finalists or outstanding academic students include UMCP or Miami U.</p>
<p>We don’t know enough about your friend’s financial situation to make informed suggestions.<br>
I suspect his parents are nervous about discussing finances because they worry about not being able to pay for an expensive education commensurate with his achievements (eg. HYPSM). What he could do is:
–take a stab at guessing his parents’ income and assets. Does he know how much they make? whether they own their house outright or have outstanding mortgages? how many other children there are?
–check out which schools offer good need-based aid that would be appropriate for their financial situation (such as free rides at HYPS for students whose families makes less than $60k, some financial aid for families with annual income up to $180k at Harvard and a few others).
–check schools that offer good merit aid (there’s a sticky at the top of the parents’ forum).
–check his state flagship school, especially if it has an honors programs.
–check schools that provide good merit aid for NMFs.
Then sit down and discuss with his parents his various options. He might be able to apply to both merit-aid schools, need-based schools, flagship schools (especially with honors programs).</p>
<p>Depending on what friend wants to major in, check out schools with co-op programs. I got through school on a combination of scholarships, loans, and a co-op engineering program. Took me 5 years to get through due to working a couple of semesters, but the money was good.</p>
<p>My D has a friend who’s parents are both medical doctors. They have a huge house, a country property, and expensive hobbies. I am sure the parents do not qualify for anything need based. The father has been adamant that she attend an instate school with the HOPE scholarship. The girl has visited and applied to a number of out of state schools, and was especially excited about some of them. She did well in school and on testing, and has an unusual outside hobby that she excells at, so she was certainly a candidate for scholarships. I don’t know what the various out of state schools ended up offering her. But she will be attending an in-state school on a full ride or nearly full ride. It is a good school, and I’m sure she’ll do well.</p>
<p>It is a completely different path than what we chose for our kids - different values and criteria, but her parents were upfront about it from the get-go, it was well within their rights to do so, and I am sure she will make the best of it.</p>
<p>Hopefully your friend is a JR or lower in HS so has time to research and plan. While many state U’s offer good financial aid, private schools have much greater endowments and can often offer much more. So those should not be ruled out. This has been disussed, somewhat, in a thread earlier on deadbeat Dads, by the way, and there was a lot of good info there. Your friend needs to sit down with his college/guidance counselor early and lay it on the line. Private scholarships can help unless they are subtracted from the overall aid package - have to know about that in advance with the college your friend decides to attend. I have worked in a high school and have seen parents like this. A couple of houses, high paying jobs, expensive trips, boats, hobbies…but when it came time to spend on the children’s education - no way. One even let her child apply ED to a top tier private LAC, was accepted, and THEN the parents said “we’re not paying that”…of course they didn’t get any aid, why should they?? D. ended up at the state university which is OK but may not be her best route to medical school. The other important thing to do is sit down with the financial aid people at the places friend is accepted to…and go from there. With perseverance good things can happen.</p>