<p>So sorry RVM. And I totally get what you mean. There always seems to be some brushfire to put out. And just when things seem to calm down a bit- another shoe drops.<br>
I miss the days when I felt my life was “boring” (in a good way- ie stable, predictable and relatively secure). Parents were fine back then, DH and I both had stable jobs, kids were doing well, etc. But we’ve now been through more than our share of stressors and challenges (caring for aging parents long distance, dealing with their illnesses, deaths, estate issues, etc, job losses, problems with home contractors, car accidents, you name it.) But when I step back and look at the big picture, we have weathered it all (so far). Tomorrow is our 29th anniversary. We have been though a lot together and that makes us stronger.</p>
<p>The real estate market is rebounding, so hopefully some better opportunity will come along. Keep up that positive attitude and enjoy some time off this summer.</p>
<p>Oh gosh OP, I feel like this too. I realized that the “bumps in the road” ARE the road! As for whack a mole…sometimes I think I’m the mole We have been through a lot, as I’m sure everyone has, and I seriously feel sometimes that “enjoying the moment” is just putting a big arrow over my head that says “whack here”.</p>
<p>RVM, I know exactly what you mean. When I was young, I sometimes complained - half-heartedly - that my life was boring; now my mantra is “boring is good.” Job losses, long-distance elderly parents (and those associated problems), an infuriating chronic medical condition of my own: it sometimes seems that as you age, you’re always waiting for the other shoe to drop… and drop… and drop.</p>
<p>Good luck RVM; I’m working on a new career myself.</p>
<p>Thanks, scout.
So sorry about the diabetes. A chronic medical illness added to the stress doesnt help, because the stress causes the illness to flare up.</p>
<p>I have to confess, difficult as it has been the last few years with a parent dying (terminally ill for several years) and then one moving in with us, I felt more stressed when the kids were in HS & university as those decisions I made then seemed so much more critical and could be thought to be forging a path, the outcome of which I would not know for years. As when you see an out of control toddler and wish that parent luck with their teens. I felt an inner tension making decisions, handling the ups & downs of the teen years and not knowing if I was doing it “right.” </p>
<p>My parents stuff has been difficult and it’s all on me, but I have felt that I will easily do it right or if I make a mistake it is not pushing a 20 year old on the wrong path. I am not sure I am saying this well, but the long term consequences of most of the work with my parents is not an issue and that was a worry when my kids were younger. I am enjoying that they have reached a point where they are responsible for their decisions!</p>
<p>Well add me to the “just when you thought things were settling down” group. Was supposed to go to a concert tonight. Wend down to get the picnic basked thing from the basement to discover (and keep in mind we are in tee middle of a remodel down there) that the A/C pump broke and there is a flood. UGH! Pulled up carpet, pad, tried to salvage stuff, including the poster boards full of photos from DS’s eagle scout ceremony, etc. My skis/ski bag are mildewed. Lovely.</p>
<p>I think you could write a book titled, “Life is nothing but a game of Whack a Mole,” and it would be a best seller, no matter what you put in it! Because we all know exactly what you mean. I think you can’t take the parent health issues too hard, because it just is going to happen at our age, our parents will grow ill, mentally and physically. It just is going to happen, no matter what we do, so you just have to not be tormented by that. Kids, well, anything bad with them will always torment us.</p>
<p>Being laid off really stinks, I feel for you, what a helpless feeling. It probably doesn’t help, but I’ll bet you that many of us here have been in that situation, and in the end walked away with a better job. I really hope that happens to you.</p>
<p>The other description that sticks in my mind is parts of my life is like herding cats (it sure isn’t pretty). Fortunately when I get discouraged, something will often occur to perk things up and give me hope again, so on I go. </p>
<p>I’m relieved that usually things aren’t too overwhelming all at once, more sequentially. ;)</p>
<p>Thanks, busdriver. While this was not what I wanted to face in the basement, the couple we were going to go to the concert with came over with their wet vac, helped us clean up the basement, and we stayed here and ate all the stuff we were supposed to take to the picnic at the park. Oh, and it rained (though apparently they still held the concert).</p>
<p>Then a friend, a friend, who went through an ugly divorce, posted that she is having electrical problems at her house and asking for guidance. So, as much as a mess as the basement is, I have a wonderful DH and great friends to rely on. It could be worse.</p>
<p>Those are really good friends. Kind of shows you what people are made of when they are there to help out when the bad stuff happens, and foregoing the fun to help.</p>
<p>Life has ups and downs for everybody, but some get luckier than others. On many counts we have been lucky. But there was a dark time when DH lost his job of 18 years. Most people respectfully left us alone (which is what we tend to do). But one dear and gutsy couple rang the doorbell with a bottle of very good Scotch in hand. I will always remember their kindness sitting and talking with us during that first night of shock.</p>
<p>Yes, I guess we all go through this. I just need a break from it, as it seems like the past few years it has been non-stop. </p>
<p>At least the layoff is my entire office, plenty of people to commiserate with. I actually have not told anyone in my real life yet, other than DH. Easier to talk about it here. So, thanks for letting me whine.</p>
<p>RVM - I have often used that phrase to describe my life these past six years. Just the other day I was looking forward to a week of blissful nothingingness. I had a presentation to do in the morning, but then I was going to have lunch with a friend and enjoy a couple of days to just help D get organized for her move to NYC. </p>
<p>I finished my presentation, stepped out of the building, checked my email to discover that two minutes earlier I had a voicemail telling me one of my senior citizens was heading to the hospital in an ambulance. </p>
<p>So much for relaxation. </p>
<p>There are days when I step back and look at things philosophically, but there are others when I honestly don’t know how I will survive the level of stress I have felt these past six years. Then I realize you just put your clothes on (dressing young, of course), your game face and head out the door! :)</p>
I was just thinking about this thread. Funny, it’s almost two years old and I thought you’d started this recently. Time flies. And the moles keep popping up their nasty little heads.
Yes they do! Funny to go back and re-read this thread. I have been on my new job almost 2 years, and after some initial adjustment issues, it is going very well, including recent promotion and raise. But my whack-a-mole theory of life holds true - as it was only a few days after receiving my good news at work that S1 called to tell us of his job loss.
I’m a worrier and it’s exhausting. I realize not everything is about me, but it would be wonderful to close my eyes and not have some issue gnawing away at me. Hoping that S1’s job situation and relocation is sorted out by the end of the summer.
Re-reading this thread - I realize everyone our age is in the same position - between issues with our kids and our aging parents. Throw in our own health and financial issues - and of course one area or another is going to be giving trouble at any given time.
I need to work on coping skills and not worrying so much. Although I don’t see changing now as too likely.
I’ve been known to ask when will it stop? Answer. …when im dead. I feel like Roseanne rosannadanna. If it’s not one thing, it’s another. I own a heavily regulated business where the demands by regulators is nearly comical if it wasn’t so serious. Having employees is always a stress. But then work can be great and growing and exciting but then my mom flares up with issues. Or the kids have something happen. I don’t know if it helps to count your blessings or see these issues as short term. Usually it has been my experience that these situations can be opportunities. And I can almost always look back and know if it weren’t for what seemed so awful at the time I wouldn’t be where I am now.
We have been through a lot, as I’m sure everyone has, and I seriously feel sometimes that “enjoying the moment” is just putting a big arrow over my head that says “whack here”.</p>