<p>Do you ever feel your life is like the child’s game of whack-a-mole? You know, the one where you have a plactic mallet, and no matter how hard you try, you can’t get all the plastic moles into the plastic ground at once? Every time you whack one down, another one pops up.</p>
<p>This is the story of my life. Maybe yours too. Every time I solve one problem, another one pops up. Every time I think things are just about going well, life throws me a huge challenge. Is it ever possible to have a period of calm, where all aspects are in sync and going well? I am starting to really doubt it.</p>
<p>This week, after months of uncertainty, S1 started his first job, post-college. I had exactly one day to feel happiness and relief from worry, and then I was laid off! My entire office of 21 people is closing at the end of the month. I’m getting too old for this.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear about your office closing, rockvillemom! That sounds so sudden. What a tough thing to hear (but great news about S1!)</p>
<p>I’ve been wondering the same thing (if there will ever be a period where things are going well). I read once that it’s not realistic to expect one’s personal life and professional life to both be doing well at the same time. You’re up in one area, down in another, then it reverses. </p>
<p>I think when we were younger, when anything good happened (relationships, school, work), it was all upside – first date? Yay! Got into college? Yay! Someone wants to hire me? Yay!</p>
<p>Now we’re all involved in so many different spheres of life – our kids, our aging parents, our own health concerns, our jobs, our retirement plans – and often, we hit a pothole in one of these spheres (which then bumps the adjacent sphere out of whack). And the pothole can be economic or romantic or health related or some combination.</p>
<p>I think my pothole/sphere analogy is kind of veering off course here…block that metaphor…but I hope you know what I mean.</p>
<p>I’m sorry for the stress. Job worries are tough.</p>
<p>I think that made a lot of sense. I’m including problems faced by my adult children and my aging parents into my calculations - so I guess it is going to be pretty typical for one of these spheres (like that analogy actually) to be veering off course at any given time. So, maybe as we get older, this is simply the new normal and I just need to accept it and move forward. I am just finding it exhausting. Which is not a great frame of mind to be in right now. The thought of looking for a job makes me want to go back to bed and pull the covers over my head.</p>
<p>I know that over the years when I hit a time (day/week/month) where everything seems great, as soon as I rely on that, something changes. It would be nice to just rest in the good once in a while, but I am always aware I could be whacked at any time.</p>
<p>I whole heartedly agree with you about so many stressful things going on. We’ve had so many stressful things going on simultaneously that I can’t even imagine a “normal, boring” lifestyle. I can dream and hope, though!</p>
<p>Hang in there. How long were you at this job? What type of profession is it? Is it easy to find another job in the same field? Part time? Full time?</p>
<p>There are many “out of the box” ways to earn a living…maybe you can step back and re-evaluate what will come next.</p>
<p>We all seem to have our hands full with parent’s issues, kid’s issues, on and on and on…it would be SO nice to have things be steady & boring for awhile!!</p>
<p>Sorry for your lousy news…maybe something positive and different will come out of it! :)</p>
<p>This why we need to enjoy the good times and things in our lives while we can. To me, this means travel to be with loved ones, having good times with them while we’re all pretty healthy, and cherishing great times to sustain us over the inevitable bumps in the road. </p>
<p>We’re so thrilled D has graduated and found some great docs and that S seems to be enjoying his job. Getting mom some PT so she can increase her pace rather than continuing to walk ever slower and she can also work on improving her balance. </p>
<p>We are enjoying this time, before we have heavy caregiving for our folks or any grand kids. No one knows what the future will bring, so am doing my best to enjoy the present and minimize regrets.</p>
<p>I actually remember feeling like this when I was college aged, too. I remember a day when I had several papers due, test, upcoming, then worrying about financial aid and how I was paying for next semester, and my (widowed) mom had a serious health issue, etc. etc. </p>
<p>So it has always seemed like part of life. And I think the whack a mole is an excellent metaphor!</p>
<p>rvm, that’s a great analogy! Yes, I feel like that! The other day I thought, “Wow, I haven’t had to call the boys’ psychiatrist in two weeks!” That’s a record for the past two years! So I guess I should count my blessings. But now my mom is starting to have health concerns. And my husband and I have had to spend so much time on our sons’ illnesses that our home business (we’re engineers) has suffered. We really do have to take one day at a time, and look for the silver linings.</p>
<p>chocchip - I generally work in mortgage banking. And it’s a field prone to layoffs, so not really a huge shock, was just hoping to get another 1-2 years out of it. I tried something different a few years back and worked in the college counseling field, which was fun. I think I am going to look for something different again. I don’t need a huge income or benefits, just want to contribute while S2 is still in college. Truly, I should not be complaining. There were a few people in my office who are single moms, or the primary breadwinner and who need the health insurance who are in a much worse position. I didn’t even like the job very much. Just not in the mood to look for a new one. I think there are few things in life worse than job hunting.</p>
<p>But, I am trying to stay positive. It’s not the end of the world. I am trying to look on the bright side, maybe I’ll find something better! And I am really enjoying having S2 home for the summer. Thinking about living in the present and not worrying so much.</p>
<p>For me, it’s not so much whack-a-mole as a roller coaster ride. After two of the most horrible years of my life, I finally have some peace. After 18 months of unemployment, I changed jobs three times in a little over a year and have finally settled in. I lost my dad back in November, we nearly lost our house and our marriage was extremely strained, but we’re back on track financially and getting along much better. I feel like the roller coaster is coming to a stop at the staging area for the next ride. And there will be another one - life has taught me that much. But you do get better at handling things, and that which does not kill you really makes you stronger.</p>
<p>Whack a mole is a great descriptor. I really feel the same. When things are going really well–like all 3 kids in a good place, renters paying, clients being good, H being good, etc.–then I feel, “Ought oh, what’s going to happen now?” It’s kind of depressing to feel that way, but with so many irons in the fire, the bliss never lasts for long.</p>
<p>Artloversplus, I also thought this was about moles! RVM so sorry about your impending lay off.</p>
<p>Moles- tomkat mole killer. Poisoned worms. Cut them in half and put into the mole hill with a long screwdriver. Kills those stinkers, swear by them.</p>
What s/he said! But at least at this point in my life, I can accept it and be ready for it when it comes.</p>
<p>Also, RVM, hugs to you on your impending layoff. I was there for 18 months. Then I took a job I knew I’d hate because my unemployment was winding down. I lasted six months there, than took one I really wanted, only to find myself with the queen of all bosses from hell. I lucked out - a woman who had wanted to hire me before had something else open and was able to hire me this time, and I can finally feel the ground beneath my feet again. Hang in there and best of luck to you.</p>
<p>I’ve actually never collected unemployment. At this point, I don’t see any downside to it - figure I’ve been working since college graduation and have earned it. So, that’s initial plan. My former bosses still have a year to go on their lease and have told us they will allow us to use the office equipment, computers, etc. to assist us in our job search.</p>
<p>I just want to find something tolerable to get through 5 more semesters of paying for college. If something better turns up, that would be icing on the cake, but I am too frustrated to be optimistic.</p>
<p>Sorry about the confusion with real moles. There’s one problem I have never had! Yet.</p>
<p>Did they say why they are laying you all off now?? Seems to me the time would have been 4 or so years ago at the height of the housing crisis. I thought things are looking up for the housing and mortgage industry these days.</p>
<p>Would you be interested in working for a local college? You certainly have the credentials! :)</p>
<p>Our office is an inbound call center - handling several government refinance programs - like HARP. We are at the mercy of interest rates. Last year - with record low rates - was great. This year started off slower and then as rates started to tick up - even slower. And June was terrible, with July being even worse. I thought maybe they would lay off a few salaried people (I work on commission) and try to last a few more months and see if rates improved, but the two owners threw in the towel.</p>
<p>They are giving the commissioned loan officers a small severance check in August, which is nice, they certainly didn’t have to do that. And the use of the office is also a blessing. I was just hoping that this would be my last job. Apparently not.</p>