<p>I have one child in flagship state U and another at a very selective LAC. My LAC child actually put thought behind her decision and took care to understand the differences between a college and a university before making her “I want to go to an LAC” decision. When I was her age, I didn’t know the difference. But my child made her college decision with three key filters in mind:</p>
<ol>
<li>Class sizes (small --even Cornell was too big)</li>
<li>Political leanings (must be very liberal and not in the South–eliminating the Washington and Lees and Davidsons)</li>
<li>Greek life (there should be none --this killed at least a dozen very good LACs)</li>
</ol>
<p>Obviously she had other criteria (preferred a school that de-emphasized intercollegiate athletics) but these three were non-negotiable. Apart from financial aid considerations, what was absolutely non-negotiable for your child?</p>
Good social life, which may have included Greek life.
Negotiable
Urban
Warm</p>
<p>My kid got all non-negotiables, and is very happy. Her school is in a middle of no where and is very cold. OP - is your daughter happy with her decision?</p>
<p>Plainsman, my twin daughter had the exact same three stipulations as yours. That narrowed things down quite a bit — almost too much in fact, as #3 is difficult to get away from.</p>
<p>My twin son was less picky (in a way, read on), and his goals, grades, and scores would have allowed him admittance to several top-notch schools. But he wanted one in particular and that one only…so in a way he was way more “filtered”. At the time I did not understand why he wanted that one school, but now that I’ve seen it, I get it.</p>
<p>It’s a very interesting process, one that I immensely enjoyed observing.</p>
<p>Non-negotiable for me (student):
-small student body and class sizes (preferably under 3,000 total students)
-focus on undergraduates (none or very limited graduate programs)
-social life is more focused on the arts than on sports/frats (my way of figuring this out was asking current students at every school I visited whether they and their friends would be more likely to see a performance or a sporting event during a typical weekend)
-there is something to do in the town/city. There are some more suburban/small town schools on my list, but they’re interesting small towns (i.e. Northampton, Williamsburg). I visited Grinnell and simply couldn’t get over the location, and then crossed all the extremely rural schools off of my list.</p>
<p>Non-negotiable for my parents
-maximum distance from home is that it can be reached within one three-hour flight.</p>
<p>I would not go to a small school. I wanted at least 20,000 students. I wanted lecture hall classes. I needed enough alternative social activities that my decision not to drink would be a non-issue. I refused to look at womens colleges and regret it, but a non-negotiable for my parents was that I had to stay in Michigan so I don’t know that I could have considered that even if I had been more open minded. Had to accept my stats class from my CC as a math requirement or have no math requirement for poli sci majors. Had to have a hockey team. :P</p>
<ol>
<li>No LACs</li>
<li>no smaller than “midsize” university.</li>
<li>Research opportunities from the get-go.</li>
</ol>
<p>For my daughter: </p>
<p>Specific pre-vet programs. This meant not just majors that covered the bases, but on-campus or local opportunities to meet the other ‘requirements’, such as a lot of hours working with animals and experience in vet-related work. She ended up turning her back on her favorite school and location because it would have been difficult to meet those two requirements.</p>
<p>kids’ stipulations:
Big state u. in a warm place with a football team (and NROTC for S1)
Parents stipulation:
In-state public u. unless scholarships earned to make COA comparable</p>
<p>Luckily, our stipulations coincided making the choices pretty easy.</p>
<p>For my son: No commuting. Not extremely high-pressure academically. Good computer science department.</p>
<p>For my daughter: Not small. Northeast, Mid-Atlantic, or Midwest, but no farther south than Virginia, and Midwest was less desirable than the other choices. No core curriculum (thus, no Columbia). No theology requirement (thus, no Georgetown).</p>
<p>Plainsman, as I recall, those filters were mostly what YOU wanted for your daughter. Sorry, I just couldn’t let that one slide :). Nonetheless, I’m glad to hear that it’s working out well for both of you. And don’t blink - graduation will be here before you know it; time goes by quickly.</p>
<p>Criteria for DD…non-negotiable…all…and in this order.</p>
<ol>
<li>Student body less than 10,000 undergrads but preferably less than 5,000.</li>
<li>Strong Science programs.</li>
<li>Ability to play in student orchestra AND take instrument lessons as a non-music major.</li>
<li>Warm weather…aka…no snow.</li>
</ol>
<p>She got them all.</p>
<p>Non-negotiable for us…</p>
<ol>
<li>Had to be either a 3 hour drive or less to our home or within one hour drive from a close friend or relative.</li>
</ol>
<p>We got that too…close friend in the same town fulfilled this critieria. Relative about 1 hour away by plane was a good thing also.</p>
<p>One of my children had a non-negotiable that it had to be somewhere warm, where it doesn’t normally snow. (There were other non-negotiables but her college decision really came down to that one.) So off she went to a U of Arizona, only to return one year later when she found out that her one true non-negotiable was living in or near a major city. I think sometimes they don’t realize that some of the things they took for granted growing up are non-negotiables to them. We live outside a big city in a very diverse area and, so far, the loss of that has probably been the biggest hurdle for each of my kids when they went away to college. One by one, they have been surprised when they are followed in stores, stopped for questioning by police or meet kids who have never met someone black. College is about learning; I think sometimes, they’re surprised what they learn.</p>
<p>Yup, my two had a non-negotiable that they had to be within an hour of skiing and water and that there were no buildings over 4 stories and no major roads running through campus…after that LOL they were wide open.</p>
Excellent music program (either within a university or conservatory).
Excellent and preferred private music instructor on his instrument.
Urban location with a good music scene (i.e. lots of music performances so SEE and also opportunities to play.
Excellent public transportation.</p>
<p>He got them all.</p>
<p>Us…3 hour drive or less from home or a one hour drive to a relative or close friend.</p>
<p>Got it all…2 hour drive from home AND several relatives located within the city.</p>
<p>I gotta add…our kids grew up in a semi rural environment a 25-30 minute drive to the nearest “city”. BOTH wanted (and loved) their urban college locations.</p>
<p>1) stellar academics, and in particular an excellent Classics Dept.
2) a university rather than an LAC, so there would be grad-level courses to take
3) not a rural campus</p>
<p>Second child:</p>
<p>1) No LACs - a big university with 10,000+ students
2) a vibrant sports culture
3) in the east, anywhere from Virginia to Mass.
4) a journalism program of some kind</p>
<p>My S non-negotiables
Warm, but not the South - so that pretty much leaves CA
good facilities and nice looking campus
good psychology and/or neurosci programs
must have photography program so he can pursue his main interest</p>
<p>My non-negotiables
He must have a range of financial and academic safeties
Smaller or small program
Really trying to talk him out of the “warm”, I think limiting your choices to CA from OOS limits a lot of options. But he did say he would consider Hawaii! we met a girl from our town who went to U of H. Financially feasible, but apart from the weather, campus didn’t look too exciting from the site. And then the airline tickets to the NE!</p>
I think sometimes they don’t realize that some of the things they took for granted growing up are non-negotiables to them. We live outside a big city in a very diverse area and, so far, the loss of that has probably been the biggest hurdle for each of my kids when they went away to college. One by one, they have been surprised when they are followed in stores, stopped for questioning by police or meet kids who have never met someone black. College is about learning; I think sometimes, they’re surprised what they learn.</p>