<p>I’ve been reading a lot of job requirements and they always mention, “must have good people skills”</p>
<p>examples? and are there books recommending how to develop them?</p>
<p>it’s something you have naturally</p>
<p>being able to talk to people w/o making them uncomfortable. knowing the right thing to say at the right time, and when not to say anything.</p>
<p>glucose, that’s not true. It’s part natural, but it’s also experience. The people with the worst social skills are usually the one’s that were home schooled, or socially secluded. Social skills are developed.</p>
<p>People skills…skill in dealing with people. Especially important in any job that has a team or customer service component. Being generally socially competent. </p>
<p>Rough summary to give you some idea of what the term means (courtesy of google): [People</a> Skills: Eight Essential People Skills](<a href=“http://ezinearticles.com/?People-Skills:-Eight-Essential-People-Skills&id=12294]People”>http://ezinearticles.com/?People-Skills:-Eight-Essential-People-Skills&id=12294)</p>
<p>And yes, as ironic as it may seem, there are books you can read (perhaps they’ll at least give you a better idea of what “people skills” are and how you can work on cultivating them, but ultimately, I just don’t see this as the type of info you can learn through study alone): [Amazon.com:</a> people skills: Books](<a href=“http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/102-5220453-2594517?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=people+skills&x=0&y=0]Amazon.com:”>http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/102-5220453-2594517?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=people+skills&x=0&y=0)</p>
<p>Having people skills means being able to build and maintain relationships. You must be able to communicate effectively.</p>
<p>all the pop psychology in the world won’t develop people skills significantly… books may give possible ideas, but it mostly takes getting out and actually gaining experience…</p>
<p>people skills, though, can be summed up as skills relating to your ability to communicate clearly, understand and anticipate others and their needs empathetically, manage conflict (NOT avoid it), and work cooperatively with others (teamwork)</p>
<p>Unless (and sometimes even if) you’re working as a researcher or something else that involves minimal contact with other people, those are the skills employers want above all else. They can train everything else they want/need!</p>
<p>meeting new people and not making them feel awkward.</p>
<p>i have this one best friend… he’s not very attractive, but all the girls love him because he’s just very easy to get along with. i don’t know how he does it, but he has many friends and is very outgoing. one thing i’ve noticed though, is that he always approaches people, takes the initiative in saying hi, and is just a really chill guy.</p>
<p>being popular is a benchmark on how good your ‘people skills’ are</p>
<p>that would only be one benchmark…</p>
<p>i know someone who is the class president and isn’t a glamour queen…but shes popular in a sense that she doesn’t hang out with the blondes but takes time to talk to them…shes nice and takes initiative to get to know people…she tries to see what she would have in common with them and from there, channels it in…</p>
<p>popularity, however, does have its pros and cons.</p>
<p>popularity is more determined by one’s physical attractiveness than actual people skills, which makes it only a modestly telling benchmark.
if you have good people skills, you should be likable but may or may not be particularly “popular”</p>
<p>in other words, popularity is over-rated…</p>
<p>I disagree</p>
<p>people skills are naturally developed, not learned from a book</p>
<p>Agreed. Books can provide some tips, but overall it requires experience with socializing. </p>
<p>If you have to ask what they are, you probably don’t have them. :P</p>
<p>"I disagree</p>
<p>people skills are naturally developed, not learned from a book"</p>
<p>I never said they were learned from a book; I said developed. You originally said that they are “something you have naturally.” That implies that they aren’t developed through experience, which is why I responded like I did.</p>
<p>i disagree w/cono. just because she’s asking what people skills are, doesn’t mean she doesn’t have them… she just isn’t used to the definition of what they are.</p>
<p>i think you can learn from them unless you are a really really awkward person. i mean if you’re average in terms of social skills and extrovertness, i believe you can definitely develop and improve them. i.e., one of my friends in middle school was super shy and awkward (esp. around girls) but i just saw him over break (he’s a soph in college now) and he’s totally different-attractive, not awkward, smooth, just a really fun person to be around… but i guess that’s an extreme. I remember i learned in psych that it’s possible for introverts to become extroverts, but not the other way around.</p>
<p>also w/people skills come communication skills, negotiation skills, conflict resolution skills, confrontation, etc.</p>
<p>Sure an extrovert could become an introvert (at least in terms of outward appearance)! …Usually a chemical imbalance in the brain or a tragic occurrence… case-in-point: happy-go-lucky 13-year-old’s dad dies overseas on a supposedly safe flight – totally unexpected. Now she is withdrawn and struggles to trust that other people will be available to her (that’s a critical age, btw… although introversion-extroversion could be influenced at any age)</p>
<p>Social skills have to be developed and will develop most effectively during the earlier developmental years. Like most psychological phenomena, social skills are probably determined approximately 50/50 by genetics and environment. By about age 18-21, your personality is pretty well set for life and will take significant work to change.</p>
<p>People (essentially social) skills are very closely tied to your personality. Of the “Big 5” (O.C.E.A.N.) personality traits, generally openness to new experience, extroversion, and agreeableness are strong positive determinants of good people skills, whereas neuroticism (emotional instability/moodiness/oversensitivity) is a negative determinant. Conscientiousness is probably also a positive determinant in certain relationships but is probably more of something that needs a delicate balance. If this is true, then you could get a feel for how others might perceive your people skills by taking any of the Big 5 personality tests online…</p>
<p>im curious of what your sources are. I’m an engineering student but i read psychology and neroscience on my own time, and from the stuff i’ve read, they don’t exactly agree with some of the stuff you’ve said, yet your post sounds very confident and solid.</p>
<p>you make introversion sound liek a disorder… chemical imbalance? Thats more like depression. Introverted and extrovereted people’s brains are wired differently. I was under the impression that this is ususally determined while growing up. The simplist analogy for this i learned was extro. gain energy being with people, while intro. gain energy by having some quiet time. Thats not to say all introverts want to be alone all the time, thats more like a social anxiety. Everyone has extroverted and introvereted traits. Not all of it is set in stone. </p>
<p>but back to the topic- as far as social skills go, books can break it down to a science, but the rest of it is up to you to make it happen. The more you force yourself into social situations, the better you will become. Have you ever watched The Pick-Up Artist on VH1? In the beginning of the show, all the contendors had a problem with being too shy around girls. By the end of the show, the contenders that remained became very good at picking up girls. It was from being put in the situation over and over again. This is no different IMO.</p>