What are the consequences of moving b/w soph to junior year?

Parent Cafe
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<p>My H moved from one side of our state to the other (5 hrs. drvie time) after his soph. yr. in h.s. When I read this thread I asked him how he felt about the move. </p>

<p>His take was that the move was harder in the social aspects than the academic. He was a very good student and academics were no problem. He had played football through ninth grade but his parents didn’t move to the new town until Aug. and by then it was too late to try out for the football team. His Mom thought she was doing the right thing by letting the kids (there were 4) stay in their hometown for as long as possible that last summer. Turns out, it would have been better for H if they had gone earlier and he could have a chance for the football team. Since the football didn’t work out, he joined the marching band which helped him make some new friends. He ended up graduating with a higher class rank at the new sch. than what he thought he would have gotten at the old sch. and best of all, he met me,lol! We actually dated in h.s , broke up and then reunited years later when he was senior in college. I’ve always been positive that his family’s move to my hometown was fate!</p>

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<p>That is an interesting story, PackMom. I agree, it sure seems like fate plays a role in such things.</p>

<p>Someone else also mentioned class rank and GPA. That is one of the sore points with our daughter because she is a straight-A student and currently on track to be Val or Sal here. The new school doesn’t rank students and calculates GPA using a different formula that would, if anything, diminish her GPA a bit. If she then takes some time to get adjusted to the new environment and gets lower grades in the new school she is going to be really upset. I am not too concerned about this because a) I don’t think it matters so much and b) she’ll probably still get her A’s. </p>

<p>I think in the long run it is not a big deal to be class valedictorian but it is hard for a 15 year old to share that long-term view.</p>

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<p>I think the biggest problem is you don’t know how it will turn out. You can plan and predict, but in the end only hindsight really tells the truth. I’ve know people whose kids moved in high school and it turned out great. Even better than where they had been. Others wished they had never done it. None of them could have predicted how it would go beforehand.</p>

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<p>Not sure how scheduling would work out, I think NJ probably ends school later in June than Mountain states? But if possible, if there were some way for your D to meet people before the move or over the summer - take a camp, get a job, etc. Packmom’s story reminded me of a friend who told me her mom intentionally moved them in elementary school with only 1 month left in the school year - she did not wait till summer because she wanted the kids to know some people and have friends before summer, and before starting school in the fall. With high school finals, etc, that’s probably not practical, but I’d still be on the lookout for summer music camps, etc in your new town if you do decide to move. </p>

<p>Good luck!</p>

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<p>Lafalum84- thanks for the suggestions, but you are correct. D is in the midst of AP exam prep and then finals in June. The other school will be done for the year by Memorial Day.</p>

<p>I did have a very encouraging conversation with a school counselor today- it turns out the E.C. opportunities may be very good after all, quite possibly better than her current school. It appears the school is used to an influx of new students every year and at every grade level and is pro-active about integrating new students into the community. We are now leaning in favor of making the move. </p>

<p>I would welcome any further comments or advice that people may be able to provide.</p>

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<p>My D had several changed to deal with- she changed for in elementary school when we left an area we’d been in her entire life. The new public was okay, but not great.</p>

<p>She began HS at a “magnet” type school quite a distance away, involving some real creativity in making that option work. Because every one was there from some where else, making friends and getting involved was easy. Grading was tough, classes were rigorous.</p>

<p>For a variety of reasons that option no longer was possible after grade 10 and she came back “home” but there was no way she wanted to go to the local public, mediocre at best, HS., so we tried a nearby private, a K-12 parochial style school. It was wholesome and reasonably good, but no where as intense as her prior HS.</p>

<p>Her grades were very high in the new school, but her rank was crazy low based on her prior school grades- straight As in this school, but bottom half of rankings :eek:</p>

<p>She did a varsity sport, it was fine, but essentially it was tough to break in socially in this small nearby town, small school, where every one had been together for life and had no interest in a new person. It was not horrible, she did make friends, but even the administrators admit is it tough to break in socially. D is very very social, and she did become a very strong, even more confident person going through this transition.</p>

<p>DD had the option to graduate early and took it, becasue doing comm coll was an easier option than continuing there, she just did not feel she owuld ever break in and really care about all the little traditions and things.</p>

<p>It has worked out fine, in her case, she still (2 years later) had friends from all three schools and is heading off to a small private which was willing to overlook the weird ranking stuff. I am not sure how it would have worked at a big top school for applications, but I would think the essays would have made a difference. It also depends on how the GCs present your DD to colleges.</p>

<p>My other Ds would not have done as well, just based on personality. My D who did not want to leave HS because she loved the entire experience would have struggled not to have teachers and friends who have known & cared for her all her HS days, and would have missed the intimate involvement in the entire process.</p>

<p>The way the kids deal with it is very much a personality based result!</p>

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<p>I admire the care and consideration the whole family is giving the decision. It bodes very well for a favorable adjustment all around assuming you decide to move.</p>

<p>On a very pragmatic college note: I wonder whether the advantage of geographic diversity from the move would more than make up for any slight comparative deficiencies in the new school.</p>

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<p>Here are two options worthy of consideration -</p>

<p>1) Figure out a way that daughter can stay behind with a relative or close friend for her last two years of high school.</p>

<p>2) Send Parent 1 who has the good career move ahead and leave Parent 2 with the even career move behind with the daughter for the next two years. (Parent 2 and daughter go be with Parent 1 during the interim summer.)</p>

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<p>Changing schools really stunk for me. I went to a parochial all girls school for 10 years (through sophomore year) when my parents felt that the neighborhood was getting too dangerous and transferred me to the city college prep highschool. They neglected to look into the fact that it was the late 60s and race riots were rampant, including at the tech highschool that shared the same city block with the prep highschool. I can’t tell you how many days we were on lockdown while the police cleared the block. My education at the girls school was fine but well below this prep high school. I struggled academically and socially all year and cried every night. At the end of the year my dad was offered a job in a nearby state in a very rural area. So I was off to a 3rd highschool where everyone (so it seemed to me) was related and had been together since infancy. The work was much easier, and my life wasn’t at risk and I was pretty much happy not feeling like a complete idiot every day. I wrote all my college essays about how adaptable I was (despite the fact that I was totally miserable). I would say moving between sophomore and junior years is much better than waiting until between junior and senior.</p>

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<p>MidwestMom2Kids: We did consider those two alternatives seriously. Neither of the two parents nor our daughter wants to split up the family in the last two years that we are a threesome. Also, parent 2 has a job lined up in the new location now, but may not in 2 years. </p>

<p>billsbillsbills: I am sorry about your miserable experiences. Can I ask you- granted those moves were miserable at the time, do you feel that you had longer term damage that lasted into college and beyond? Or do you feel that you emerged stronger and better prepared to face the world? We feel we have researched the new school well enough to be reasonably certain that the academic levels and social environments are similar. We are leaning strongly in favor of making the move.</p>

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<p>I guess I’ve turned out okay - never robbed a bank, never killed anyone, never needed rehab! I think it influenced my college years in that I was so happy to be in one place and have friends that I didn’t study as much as I should have, getting B’s when I could have gotten A’s. One of my brothers was between sophomore and junior years when we moved and he had a much easier time of it. It could have been his personality but I think the 2 years to get adjusted was better than one. Good luck to your family!</p>