IMO there’s a big difference between mentioning affordability as a factor/check the NPC/have financial chat with parents and asking “How much can your parents afford to pay?” which is unfortunately how that is often phrased in the FA forum.
^It’s done to parents, too. “Putting aside the money issue” gets translated to insistent questions about NPC, retirement funds, loans, and a million other “issues” that are not what the person is asking.
I think “how much can you afford to pay and is that amount smaller than your EFC?” can be a perfectly reasonable question. That way you know whether need based will cover costs, and if not, what kind of schools are likely to give enough merit aid to be affordable. I don’t see why you have to tippy-toe around it; financial aid can be a HUGE part of the college search, and needing FA is nothing to be ashamed of or hide. If I had posted a question on Search and Selection (which I didn’t, but hypothetically), I think it would be almost irresponsible for people to assume affordability.
It’s so interesting to read the different reactions to the affordablility questions. In my experience, as a lurker, reading multiple threads with rather blunt questions about affordability was a much needed injection of reality & gave us time to learn more and be prepared.
We could have easily been one of those families sitting there with acceptance letters, only to get a rude awakening come spring time when the FA packages rolled in and we saw what we were expected to pay.
But, clearly, others have different reactions to those threads.
I don’t get the tippy toeing either. Not enough in the news and in CC about college being unaffordable and kids swamped by loans? What really bothers about asking? A 16 or 17 y.o. kid can get dozens of random colleges shouted out, but money is taboo or too delicate? What if he doesn’t realize the costs?
I agree that affordability is important to assess. The issue is how it’s asked.
Going back to the original discussion - threads where the OP writes “I have a 3.83 (so bad, I know) and a 2280. What schools should I look at? I swear I’m not fishing for compliments.”
If you think your GPA is so low, why the disclaimer…
Honestly, if I thought a question were phrased intrusively, I might suggest a rephrase it to give that asker a clue. Not fume. So you might imagine, the complaint here surprised me.
(trying to agree but still stay consistent with the thread, Jeopardy-style)
Ones where the OP says it doesn’t matter and people still don’t believe him. Asking once is ok. Asking after it has been answered says “you are an idiot” and nobody likes that. Even idiots.
I would say there are some cases where even asking a second time is okay. I remember one time when a poster said “finances are not a consideration for me.” Another poster asked “but they are a consideration for your parents?” - at which point it turned out that the budget was 20k/year. It would’ve been tough for that student to find out that budget mattered only after getting into an unaffordable dream school.
IMO (as grandpoobah of internet), Budget is a major requirement in analyzing colleges. If people are giving advice without knowing affordability, there is no point to CC.
It is a touchy subject no doubt but one can reveal their expected spending without having to reveal their financial status (we all know what EFC says vs what we want to spend).
Absolutely. Anyone taking a brief glance at the finaid threads see the heartbreaking situations of students getting ready to go off to college (often far away), yet not knowing how either the first deposit or beyond the first year will be paid.
So many kids (and some parents) engage in the magical thinking that somehow the funds will appear. Kids are out of touch with reality, and sometimes think that by working during the school year and/or searching for private scholarships, that they will somehow get enough money to pay a steep gap between finaid and their COA. If only they had considered the financial piece of things much sooner!
It is the posters who convey immediately and as if they are pouncing on the op, " what can your parents afford to pay?"
It comes across as not being concerned for the op but as a requirement for themselves before they give of their precious time and advice. ( intended sarcasm)
There is no reason that type of inquiry could not be made after having answered the op’s question. There is also no reason it cannot be offered very respectfully.
Many students and their families have no idea about the true financial considerations. I would expect that most would rather be eased into it versus the manner in which some posters regularly do it here.
There was a thread started here a few months ago by a student who was admitted OOS to Penn State. He had already paid his deposit. He was awarded $5000 in grants, $5000 in loans, his parents could pay $10,000. He asked how he could close the gap given the COA of $45,000. He was told that the gap could not be closed and he could not attend. Perhaps he received advice early on that was too “subtle”.
I’m not saying tippy-toe around; I’m saying it’s not necessary information to answer every question a poster poses.
Making up an example: “Which do you think is better for an art major; an LAC or big uni?” That is a finances-independent question. Modifying it with a FA-dependent answer would not be answering the question posed; it would be answering a different one.
^^ Hence why “Can you afford $45k/yr?” is a part of my initial comment to anyone considering PSU OOS. They are not great with aid, and anyone thinking “Well, I’ll just cover it with scholarships!” doesn’t know how few of those they give out.
I said nothing about being subtle, you can answer the posters question and then provide respectful but straight forward guidance and advice regarding the financial considerations afterwards. It is called tact and decency. If someone is going to communicate with me in that manner they have lost me, I would have no interest in what they have to say. You can convey a point without being rude.
A couple of days ago, someone freaked b/c they had forgotten their college registration user ID and password – and posted on CC for advice on what to do.
He might as well have asked CC where he put his clean socks. Are people that enslaved by input they get from their devices? This person didn’t have the ability to think that he should contact the COLLEGE and instead, made a College Confidential post?
I pity that person’s future employer.
Used to get me when kids would ask how to contact Harvard. It wasn’t a question of which person, level of authority, or dept. They couldn’t look for the phone number or mailing address. Says a lot.
We told D1 no school was a dream school if we couldn’t afford it. Clearly not all parents say that. Just how sensitive do we want to be, when a responding poster raises affordability? Do they really have to wait X posts or phase it just so?
It’s not self-serving to ask a poster to check what his parents can afford. Doesn’t change the asker’s life one iota. It may not be gracefully phrased, but the point is made and the OP can decide how to respond.
Kids have enough trouble researching their targets. Too many seem to give deeper consideration short shrift. And a lot comes through in the title or info in the first post. If a kid says, look, I qualify for the guaranteed X grant at this U and the NPC shows we can swing Y college, which has a better engineering program?, who’s asking how much the parents can pay?
I’m the parent and the second place I look when checking out school websites with my son is the tuition page. The first page is the academic offerings because it makes no sense to look at the cost if the school doesn’t offer the program he is interested in. I have run the NPC’s anId checked out any automatic merit scholarships. If there’s no way we can meet the gap between a SUNY and whatever school we’re looking out, that school is off this list.
I feel badly for kids who have themselves all psyched up for a particular school and then can’t go because that’s what happened to me. I got into some very good programs but when my parents refused to help, it just became impossible and I wound up at a CUNY. In retrospect, all turned out well but at the time, I was heartbroken. That’s why I won’t let my kids get their hopes up.