Too my knowledge, @paul2752, you’ve never represented yourself as anything but a student. Good on you!
Can I get a name for htat poster by PM?
Threads where the OP says “finances aren’t an issue, our budget is 25k/year,” and then when you ask how they’ll pay for NYU if they get in, they get defensive and say that’s not what their question was about.
Threads where a poster sneeringly refers to another poster’s child as “your little genius” or “your special snowflake”
We’ve been using the term snowflake for a long time. It’s shorthand for an assumption of special uniqueness.
Right. I understand its usage.
When it’s condescendingly directed at a specific poster, it is obnoxious and uncalled for.
Ones with “humble bragging alerts” that are certainly bragging, but far from humble .
I’ve been noticing one happening a lot lately-the OP asks a question, and people respond with “can you afford it” when they never mentioned cost as an issue.
I know a lot of people are ignorant about the cost of college (I was), but asking before the OP mentions (it might not be an issue) it tends to sidetrack the conversation.
Several posters on this thread have reinforced my perceptions about annoying CC comments: The failure to be circumspect and preface comments with “I think” or IME, the insult implied by “special snowflake”, the bizarre clairvoyance of “you are thinking” and “you are assuming”.
IMO, it’s a problem that exists with much internet social media. Anonymity provides an opportunity to post biting or condescending comments that one would never say to someone face to face. Anonymity brings out the worst in some people.
You just hit on one of my major annoyances.There is a certain poster who religiously asks the affordability question. Often times the OP’s question is answerable without the financials. You don’t have to know how much someone is able to spend to answer what college fits someone’s stats. I share a lot of things on CC,my personal finances is not something that I am willing to share, other than the occasional kvetch that "___"is expensive.
Over time, so much focus on stats matching- and then the family cannot afford the school, didn’t discuss finances or run NPCs. Which is better: to ask this ultimate question or just focus on admit chances or some other question? No one has to reveal dollar amounts to say either, thanks for the tip or yes, we ran the NPC and it looks affordable, I also have less expensive safeties?
And this often comes up with schools known to gap.
While I agree there are more diplomatic ways to address the affordability issue [“Please run the NPC for each school and check with your parents about their budget constraints” is probably preferable to “What can you actually afford???”], the truth is a family’s financial situation will have TREMENDOUS impact on finding the right fit schools, irrespective of stats.
For example, someone with a 1500 (CR/M) SAT and a 3.9 GPA may be an excellent “fit” at an Ivy or other elite IF he’s an URM or first-generation college student. He may also find it more affordable if his family’s income is $75,000 or less than his local state flagship, which may offer him admission to the honors college and a nice merit award.
Those same stats for an upper-middle-class ORM or white student? You better have OUTSTANDING ECs and write a killer essay to have a good shot at admission and you better be able to pay $60,000 a year for four years, because there’s a good chance you’re getting zero FA.
That’s why the question comes up frequently and often early in the conversation. It’s really a key criterion for recommending schools.
The affordability issue is particularly important for OOS UC applicants since there is no longer financial aid for OOS students. A few years ago someone posted to the effect “Will I get into NYU? I will figure out how to pay for it later.”
@LucieTheLakie So my URM Dwith a >1500 SAT and 3.9 GPA is a good fit for an Ivy or elite school just because she’s a URM? You presume too much and its rather offensive. Why do you assume its affordable for all high stats URMs or that they will get in solely based on their stats and won’t have to have outsanding ECs and great essays? smh
LucieTheLakie only said that being URM or first gen can function as a hook, giving a small bump to an application’s appeal to colleges.
They didn’t say anything else about not needing an exceptional app, or that the only reason URMs get in is because they’re URM.
@itsgettingreal17, I didn’t say ONLY. I said “MAY.” Being an URM OR a first-generation college student is considered a hook. I WAS one of those kids. I was just trying to use it as quick example of different situations. I apologize if I offended you.
ETA: I discovered this document just prior to my son’s applying to colleges in 2013. I already knew about the difference in the process for “special” and “regular” applicants, but I didn’t realize how they weighted various factors. I found it very eye-opening and it caused me to adjust my expectations. Once I did that, I had a pretty good idea what the various outcomes would be:
http://www.manhassetsca.org/HighSchool/articles2010-11/DonBettertonpresentation2011.05.17.pdf
I understand why the affordability question is asked and your examples certainly bare out the importance. I suppose I am coming at it from the opposite direction. The 1st, for me, is “Do I want to get in to this school”, 2nd “Can I get in to this school”, 3rd “Can I afford to attend”. I can certainly see that for some the 1st question is “Can I afford to attend”. I guess I see it as sometimes you can make the finances work where you can’t make the stats change. However, it does seem that “deficiencies” in stats can be overcome based both on lack of finances or abundance of finances although that window of flexibility is somewhat small.
When I see a post asking “list some college for me to consider”, I assume (lol since we are also talking about the annoyance of assumptions on CC) the poster is attempting to see what is possible, and that they either know what they can afford or they will get to whether it is affordable as soon as they know if their even have a shot at admission.
@TomSrOfBoston wrote
yes, that is inviting discussion on the financial side of the question.
But there are people who are like, here are my stats, what school is a good match for me?
In my opinion, if they didn’t post their financial stats then it is not a factor and it’s not something they are asking for advice about.
Asking about the affordability(when the OP didn’t ask for help in that area) and then continuing to argue about it when the poster says “my parents can afford it” is SO ANNOYING.
I agree. Just because someone asks one question, doesn’t mean they are ignorant of other issues. Maybe they are wrong, but one condescending thread is not going to change their lives.
It’s like they can’t take the parent hat off and just answer the question-they take it on themselves to try and figure out what’s best for the kid.
Meanwhile, the kid’s like, I get enough parenting, hasta la bye bye, and misses out on good info.
(to be fair, I’ve done this to kids on here, but usually when they were acting like pompous…jerks, and it was about spelling/grammar/proofreading, not money)