<p>Every day, it’s the daily grind for me and definitely for countless others who pursue similar endeavors to those of myself. I am only a teenager, why the hell do I have a daily grind? To prepare me for the work force, they will say. To be ready for the long hours of studying one must put in during college. I am only a teenager and I am burned out everyday. The gargantuan workloads are counterproductive and thus paradoxical; they achieve this combination through grueling hours spent completing tedious tasks to “master” a subject or through trying to wrap one’s head around a concept that the teacher did not commit what his/her name implies for an upcoming exam that is meant to gauge one’s proficiency in that area (but ultimately how well the teacher teaches). If you are ambitious in your perception of your acceptance to a university that has a glimmering reputation in the work world, however, the daily grind is not at all sufficient. One must push themselves even harder to succeed in all facets of his/her pursuits, even if those pursuits are meant to be pursuits of passion or enjoyment. Thus, what was made to appeal to humans becomes another stress-inducing competition-machine.
What does this Godlike test of willpower that spans 4 years prove? Hell if I know, everything that goes on in an admissions office is completely arbitrary. I find no sign of logic in the offices of elite universities and other universities the like - if there was any present, the white man wouldn’t have to work so much harder than the black man to achieve the same results. This is not racist at all, but it proves the aforementioned point simply through some rational analysis:
There is one position. The goal is to fill that position to whoever deserves it the most. Deserving of a position is derived from how hard a person has worked and how much effort a person has put into achieving scholarly and nonacademic excellence - excellence being derived from, on a general consensus, achieving greater results than any certain number of surrounding peers.
2 Applicants for the position. A white man and a black man. The black man has a relatively high GPA and a great SAT score with a very rigorous school schedule. The white man has a 4.0 GPA and a 2400 SAT score with a very rigorous schedule. No need to go any further, the black man wins in the admissions office. Technically, the white man has achieved more excellence and is thus suited more to the position, but the black man has achieved excellence as well, although not as much, and because blacks are considered to be underrepresented in the college community, the black man is chosen over the white man. On a pure basis of logic, this is racist toward the white man, because the white man has clearly achieved a greater degree of excellence, but the black man has won simply because of being born a different ethnicity. </p>
<p>That was quite a lengthy tangent to go off on but it proves my point that admissions is not based on the most trustworthy method of decision-making, logic. And yes, I understand there are variables, but when there are so many variables, there are no variables at all. Just like if everyone is unique, they are all similar in the fact that they are unique, so they are no longer unique. There are paradoxes everywhere; sadly they are present even in some of the most important places, such as college admissions offices that can make an impact on the rest of a person’s entire life. </p>
<p>Aside from all of this illogical logic, there is one pertinent point that could use some elucidation: what are we doing? This question, of course, not being so literal as asking a deeper question, perhaps why we are doing what we are doing in conjunction with what we are doing? What is it that we are trying to achieve? One is the same person whether a janitor or a CEO of a fortune 500 company. Money is paper. Emotion gets old and life is no soap opera to begin with. You can climb the ladder, but whenever you get to the top, you are still on the same ladder you were on when you were at the bottom.</p>
<p>sorry it’s such a grind for you :(</p>
<p>with respect to what we are doing, I think a lot of us don’t ask ourselves that question. I like how you emphasize that we are all on the same latter, this is true. It turns out that even after winning the lottery and receiving millions of millions of dollars, or getting that amazing promotion one’s strived for for years, the initial spike in happiness is only that - initial - one’s happiness returns to the pre-event level quite fast. So just as moving up the latter doesn’t do anything dramatic like move one above the latter, it doesn’t lead to an increase in the long-term fulfillment as well. Your life ends up feeling the same.</p>
<p>Anyways, whether people realize this or not (or realize something else) most people like striving for things. It’s actually the striving that sustains them (not the end result) even if they don’t see this. For you, the striving is not sustaining. I wonder if this is because (as you say) you’ve realized the futility of striving and the illogical ways of the system that determines success, or if there are some other causes. Because a lot of people do see the same things you do, I think (even if they’re a significant minority) and somehow come to terms with it (or don’t), and regardless find contentment despite it. So I’m wondering why that’s not the case for you.</p>
<p>btw: I like your writing and illogical logic (and I like that you realize it’s illogical) and I also like your phrasings of certain things. Even if the logic is illogical (which I would say a lot of it is) I still appreciated it.</p>
<p>TL;DR version</p>
<p>P1: Standard School rant.
P2: Standard AA rant.
P3: Standard AA rant.
P4: Standard Admissions rant.
P5: Standard Life rant</p>
<p>Deep. So Deep. How philosophical. How sad for you poor,poor white man that you had to work so much harder than the average black kid. How tragic that you have to spend long,long hours studying. At another time I would have agreed with you and/or tried to make you feel better; but then I looked at how bad you have it and realized there was no way to help.</p>
<p>Sorry.</p>
<p>You don’t have to grind if you don’t want to. But the most competitive colleges are just that–competitive. There are people willing to grind, and those are going to be the best-qualified people, so they will be the ones accepted.</p>
<p>What am I doing? Personally, I don’t mind grinding. Huge workloads are stressful, but I don’t see how else I’ll invest my time. And I do enjoy my main EC immensely.</p>
<p>"Why work like a dog so you can pant for a moment or two before you die?” - The Night Thoreau Spent In Jail</p>
<p>I understand the thread poster’s point completely. You all can snicker if you want, but I wondered the exact same thing for awhile, so I took a step back and figured out how I could make myself happy climbing a ladder. I ultimately decided to choose a different ladder. I was on my way to taking AP Calc BC and other insanely advanced academic classes just for the sake of feeling “as good as” those around me and having a “financial fallback” for my music career. I worked long hours in previous years trying to understand advanced pre-calculus and physics, and I realized that it was making me absolutely miserable. Why the hell would I put myself through more of this when I could just take a few AP classes that interest me and focus on what makes me truly fulfilled and still able to inspire others? Is my ultimate goal a paycheck? Not in the least, and if it is for you, you may need to reassess. </p>
<p>Here I am, senior year, and I’m not taking a math class. OOH, THE HORROR. I am, however, taking honors govt, honors science, honors musical theatre (2 credits), psych, AP Lit, and AP music theory. I’m writing songs with a band and I was just in a musical. I’m not going to double major in any “academic” subject because that’s not what I want to spend four years (or more) of my life stressing over. I’m going to college for music and I’m going to perform, produce, and write a rock opera. If I work hard and do what makes me and others around me happy, am I any less respectable than the CEO of the big company? No, not at all. So work the hardest at what you like to do, and you’ll be more successful. You’ll be more inclined to continue to push yourself, because it’ll be something that makes you happy. You won’t spend time wondering how you got into the godforsaken habit of pulling your hair out over a science project or essay on a Saturday evening when your friends are out having fun.</p>
<p>As for the bit about the white student and the black student, though, nobody ever said life was fair. If you keep working hard, it’s going to pay off in the long run whether you get that one Ivy League acceptance or not.</p>
<p>Read existentialist texts (e.g. Fear and Trembling, Myth of Sisyphus, The Stranger, The Metamorphosis) if you’re taking the “What am I doing here?” question seriously. What you’re encountering now is what several philosophers/writers have dubbed the “Absurd,” which is basically the gap between a universe that doesn’t care and a humanity that demands meaning. (I didn’t read your entire rant, but it appeared as if you were questioning the purpose of all your work).</p>
<p>Spoiler alert: YOU get to pick that purpose, if you can handle the consequences. YOU make meaning in the world, and YOU decide your life (outside of what you’re thrown into, obviously, such as race, family, birthplace, etc.).</p>
<p>You started off pretty promising (I was going to recommend Thoreau and Into the Wild), but then you went racist. A pity.</p>
<p>
Pretty much, though not sure about how many parts there were; I’d rather not stare at the formatting of that first block, so I’ll take your word for it.</p>