<p>We have two more days before we take our first to college. He’s got some plans but I feel directionless. I have summers off so I don’t have work to distract me. I don’t really want to make any plans to go anywhere. My husband I were thinking of driving to visit my mom today (2 hours away and he has plans later in the afternoon) but son didn’t really want us to go which was fine with me.<br>
I’m kind of bored. Just waiting until we pack up the car. What can I do to keep myself calm and cool?</p>
<p>Read ‘Letting Go’ !</p>
<p>Cooking pork…which my D does not eat…</p>
<p>Don’t project your anxieties and emotions on your son. Do your normal Sunday stuff. Leave your son alone to finish what he needs to get done. Don’t hover or nag him. Don’t make a big deal about “lasts at home.” If it doesn’t get pack or forgotten, it’s no biggie. He may want to spend his last evening at home with friends. Let your son and his dad pack the car. Go see your mom-your son may get more done in an empty house.</p>
<p>I am not projecting anxieties on my son. He’s calm enough - so am I. I’m staying out of his hair but am here if he has questions. He does have plans today to visit a friend and go to a BBQ later this evening. He still wants someone in the house when he comes home. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I know what not to do. I was just wondering what others are doing.</p>
<p>Ooops! For some reason I read AFTER your kids departure…Nevermind…</p>
<p>My ds was a freshman last year, and I remember this restless, at-loose-ends feeling. I didn’t want to be anywhere other than home, lest I miss an opportunity to spend time with him, yet when I was home I was antsy. I think I was just feeling anxiety over what was to come–and trying very hard not to show that–but you know that there is a momentous occasion at hand. It reminds me a lot of how I felt when my 3rd s was born, and I was going to be induced for the first time, so I knew EXACTLY when that was going to be happening. It’s obviously a wonderful thing to have a baby–just like it’s a wonderful thing to see your child take this big step–but you also know there’s going to be some pain involved, so it’s a mixture of anticipation and anxiety. </p>
<p>I tried to get out a bit–maybe meet a friend for coffee or something, but I never felt content being out for very long. I am actually feeling some of this again this year, though nothing to the extent I did last year. Ds leaves in about a week–he hasn’t decided the day yet. I’m keeping this week open and I’ll be cooking a lot of his favorites. I think last year I did the same thing, but I mainly hung out and watched movies while I waited for him to wander in and out. Funny movies–dvd’s of funny shows–like 30 rock.</p>
<p>Helenback - yes! You described my feelings perfectly. It restlessness. I’m playing computer games now. I know I should really being productive but I just can’t bring myself to do that.</p>
<p>This time last year, I was about to jump out of my skin waiting for him to pack. I didn’t want to go to bed the night before we left because. . . I don’t know why. Fast forward 12 months, and he’s in the next room merrily packing (much less stuff than last year, I should add). I am catching up on some work. I paused to iron shirts (yes, he knows how, but it felt like the motherly thing to do for some reason). As I just wrote in another thread, I’m serene. I’m actually taking him back to school (by plane) and then continuing on a two-day business trip. Life changes, for the better. He’s still my wonderful son, but just in a different time zone for part of the year.</p>
<p>Any good mommy would be making cookies.</p>
<p>^^^ ha ha!</p>
<p>DS will be heading off to his junior year of college at the end of the month. We decided that our family of 4 would get tickets to a major league baseball game the week before he leaves. It’s expensive, but it’s our little “going away” celebration.</p>
<p>It’s so much easier the second year they go. The first year, I felt responsible for getting everything together and making sure he had everything he needed. The next year I figured he knew what he needed better than I did. I offered to go shopping with him, but he decided what to buy and he packed it all up. This year he’ll probably shop on his own and I’ll pay him back for things I would normally buy.</p>
<p>DD will be leaving Tuesday for her senior year (she actually is only here for a two week vacation…will return to her job…school doesn’t start until Sept 21). Tomorrow we’ll go out for breakfast and then for manicure/pedicure appointments. </p>
<p>Both of our kiddos were home last week so we took them out to a favorite dinner spot one night. That’s what we usually do the night before they leave…go out to a favorite restaurant.</p>
<p>I will say…it is SO NICE not to be packing stuff up with DD. It’s the big PERK of having a kid across the country. When she comes home, the stuff stays there!!</p>
<p>Cooking foods we all like but are too much trouble for son to bother with, won’t find around campus and are time consuming enough I don’t usually bother for the two of us. Son home just for a week between summer and school places- getting reaquainted with disappearing food and kitchen messes. Anticipating the last move- with a truck for unfurnished apt- next week. Putting the bug in senior’s ear about doing grad school applications sooner rather than later (he’s gotten the GRE act together) and otherwise doing some last minute parenting. Presume he’ll move from school apt to wherever after graduation next summer.</p>
<p>S2 had a wisdom tooth pulled yesterday and is in his truck headed back to school right now. I had thought he might stay an extra day but he said his mouth was fine and he was ready to go “home”. He’s only been here 3 weeks because he did both sessions of summer sch. at his college. I was just starting to get used to him being here.</p>
<p>He is a soph. and all his stuff is in his off campus house so he just picked up his duffle bag, gave me a hug and drove off. We prob. won’t see him again until Fall Break.</p>
<p>this is the first time in 9 years I am not moving a child into some college on campus or off campus housing. It say it is a strange feeling is an understatement. Older D is well established in her Graduate school hometown (hasnt moved in four years) and S only visited during the summer, kept same off campus apt and roommates for senior year and is going directly from summer internship in one city back to campus in another city.If he needs anything new he’ll have to buy it b/c i won’t see him till October.</p>
<p>So, for those of you who’ve done this many times, am I right in assuming it’s less painful sophomore year? I feel so much calmer than last year because he’s headed back to a place he loves to live with really good people. Last year was the big, yawning unknown. This year there isn’t that anxiety over how it will all work out–but–and as Pee Wee says–everybody I know has a big but.</p>
<p>But, do you still get a little weepy when you leave them? I’m not a woman who enjoys a good cry. I hate it. I mean, I feel really calm about him going back, but I have to say that though I knew it would be hard to leave him last year I was not prepared for the grief on the trip home. I’d just like to know how it all went for you–if it got easier each time. I really thought last year I’d be relieved to get it over with and after the whirlwind of summer activity I’d appreciate the peace of just the younger two. That turned out to be completely wrong in every way. </p>
<p>So, not to completely hijack the thread, but how were the subsequent drop-offs after you got the first one out of the way?</p>
<p>Oops! I see there’s already a sophomore thread going!</p>
<p>I think it is much easier (in every way) when they take themselves back to school rather than Mom/Dad going along to help with move-in. It’s easier to see them pull out of the safe and familiar driveway with a wave and a smile(like they’ve done hundreds of times before) than for us to be the ones pulling away from a curb in an unfamiliar place with S standing there alone waving us off. </p>
<p>This summer was esp. hard when we moved S2 into his off campus rental house for summer school. Four guys are sharing the house but S2 was the only one there for first session of Sum. Sch. It’s a big old creaky house close to the univ. but also close to a somewhat undesirable area. I could tell he was nervous knowing he was going to be there alone for weeks. I felt sick driving away and leaving him there alone.</p>
<p>^^^That would be very nerve wracking!</p>
<p>I’d love for him to drive himself back, but he can’t fit the fridge in his vehicle. Maybe next year…</p>