<p>He likes to hack into my computer account and browse for porn. I’ve caught him doing it. He doesn’t have the emotional nerve fibers to understand how intruding and pathetic this is. He think this is good how he how he pushes his online Christian sermons onto me, even though I go to church more than he does. He tells me not to wonder about at night, warning me about the devious “night people.”</p>
<p>I want to find the money to get away from home, maybe transfer to another college, and eventually get a PhD. More importantly, I don’t want to end up like HIM. I don’t want to live on bare necessities, “work” from 8 AM to 10 pm doing god knows what, or sneak around my own house spying on my own freaking kid. I want to have good friends and a future wife who likes living with me.</p>
<p>I try to get myself to join clubs and meet friends, but right now I don’t have the confidence or the energy. I work and I play sports, trying to keep myself busy, just as my parents had trained me to do. I’ve grown to be quiet and reserved, which as limited my ability to make close friends. All I want is to have close friends and be happy, and I can’t even have that.</p>
<p>What the hell am I suppose to do?</p>
<p>Go to your college’s counselling center, get an appointment, and talk about your issues with a professional. </p>
<p>Also, figure out what type of “hacking” he’s doing and try to add more protection to your computer so he can’t access pornography.</p>
<p>If your computer is on a home network, your dad may be trying to protect the rest of the computers in the house. Porn sites contain lots of adware, spyware, and other malware. If those get to your PC, they could very easily infect the rest of the house. It’s quite possible your dad is trying to protect HIS data and prevent major problems. </p>
<p>If you really are looking at porn, his actions could be justified.<br>
If you really are not looking at porn, then I can see why you’re resentful. </p>
<p>I agree with Artemis. Talk this through with a professional.</p>
<p>I agree with these posts, OP.</p>
<p>Especially regarding your feelings of frustration with home-life, difficulty of making friends, etc. Those are things it would be good to talk with a professional counselor about.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you are feeling such frustration. I am going to agree with others that you should seek out a professional counselor. Do not assume because they are an adult they will ‘side’ with another adult. Their job (or part of it) is to help you talk about what you are feeling and work out a reasonable way to go forward.</p>
<p>Every family has their own idea of privacy for their teens/young adults living at home. I have a friend that wouldn’t dream of even opening her daughters bedroom door. We have usernames and passwords to all accounts. Our teens know this. We do nothing that they are not aware of, everything is above board. I also have friends that have put keystroke software on their students computers.</p>
<p>When our oldest son graduated hs and turned 18 (about the same time), we let him know a few rules of the house. Although he was 18 and a legal adult we do not allow pornography in our home. We make no judgement calls on what other people do, this is simply what we feel is right for our family. While he is living in our home it is one rule he is expected to follow. It has nothing to do with age. We do reserve the right to search history on his computer. No history (erased) is not a good thing. We don’t go looking for trouble. We are not looking for a ‘gotcha’ moment, but if we had just cause to check it out, we would. We did make this, along with a few other things clear. We feel that as long as we are open and honest about what we expect that it is fair. Others may not agree. Every family has to make their own decisions.</p>
<p>I share this with you only to point out that this type of expectation is not necessarily extreme, perhaps simply the way it is approached. That may be something to talk about with a counselor. When you are ready perhaps you could speak with your father and explain you respect his rule but you would like to find a way to approach it that doesn’t make your feel like you are being accused of something.</p>
<p>I do feel like there is a way you can find middle ground with your father.</p>
<p>Is he using your account to access porn for himself??? Or inspecting your computer and downloads to look for contraband you have downloaded??? Do you have things that you should not have on your computer?? Downloaded using your family’s computer access account? Just curious. I think we need to establish first if YOU are downloading porn onto a computer that your family provided, using your home or high school computer access.</p>