For me, I suppose it comes down to control of my choices. If my kids unknowingly gave it to me, I’d be OK with that. I chose to see them. If I got it at work where nobody wears a mask and tends not to social distance, I will NOT be happy. More like forever bitter.
Truthfully, we are all pretty low risk. H & I are ~50 (if you average us) but in good health. Some would say amazing health, but I think everyone has something odd going on. I worried most about younger S, but he caught it and recovered while at school. His symptoms would have been called mild, but this mom doesn’t consider any illness mild, lol. (OTOH, his friend was not so fortunate and hospitalized, though since recovered.) Older S is probably the heartiest of us all.
All of us are within a 3-5 hour driving distance. No air travel required. But even if we did, I doubt we would do the quarantining thing. I’d take my chances with them. But we aren’t a huggy, touchy feely family either. We have a big house and we all tend to do our own thing. Historically, when one of us gets sick, we are pretty good at not spreading it to anyone else. I know COVID is a different animal, but still.
On the flip side, I haven’t seen my parents since Christmas. They don’t want to see me. I’ve offered to drive (1:30) and have pizza on the deck, but they don’t trust restaurants. They are in great health for their age, but they are in their 70s and don’t want to take any chances, especially with my work situation.
We hope to see DS sometime around Christmas. He will Covid test before he leaves his state (which keeps getting taken off and then added to our naughty list). And he will test when he gets here.
Our house is large enough that he can really isolate in his own room…and use the hall bathroom which no one else needs to use.
The only rub is when he comes, he also likes to see his friends and I’m guessing that just won’t be happening this year.
He might wait until March to come here. Really, if travel is OK by then, we would want to go to him!
We are taking a risk with med school lad (and his GF if she comes this time). We are willing to do this because he’s my boy and I want to see him. He would not come if he were symptomatic. H and I are young enough to not be super at risk, but we aren’t without risk either. We’re just willing to take that chance. It’s a non-stop drive from his place to ours, so no risk associated with travel. The boy takes risks every single day working in the medical field. Coming to see us is low risk for him.
My youngest and his wife live with us. Back at the beginning they agreed that if they were to move in they would have to distance from the rest of the world (not us). They do it - as much as we do - meaning grocery shopping or take out is the main thing we go out for and it’s always masked plus timed to happen when there are fewer crowds. There are, of course, the occasional need for the post office, feed, or hardware store, but those are quite limited compared to before. Church for all of us is remote - either listening on the radio or online. All meeting of friends happens here, outside, and well over 6 feet apart (across the road from each other usually).
This past weekend DIL had her family getting together for likely the last time that they can all see her grandfather. This is definitely risky, but he’s not going to live much longer due to kidney function and not wanting dialysis. “My” two should not be in a risk group if they get it. We worked around it as a family by H and I going to FIL’s for two weeks+ afterward. They will be isolating at our farm and watching to see if anyone in her family gets it. We debated testing, but I think we’re just going to watch unless someone comes down with it. There are a few in her family that are at super high risk and it’s unlikely all would be asymptomatic.
Youngest and DIL sometimes come down here with us to see FIL, but usually they take care of the farm while we’re gone.
There’s no way med school lad would come to FIL’s unless he had time off to isolate for 2 weeks first. He doesn’t have that time, so won’t be coming. It’s way too risky for FIL.
Oldest is too far away to visit - doesn’t work with his work schedule or ours, but we didn’t see him more than once a year or so prior to Covid anyway. Our last visit was Feb - right before Covid.
Best wishes to anyone looking to visit family. I totally understand and wish you the best.
@Marilyn I would go to see your S. You can stay in the other apartment when you get there and he can get a Covid test and keep isolating until you and your H arrive.
My parents in their late 70’s drove across country from CA to PA in June and back at the end of July to see my mom’s brother who has cancer. They stayed in motels where their room door was outside and they didn’t have to walk through a lobby to get to it. They brought their own bedding and towels to use on the trip. When they entered a room they sprayed/wiped everything down and changed bedding. They brought food in a cooler or only ate takeout on their drive. When they arrived at their destination where they stayed in and Airbnb for 2 weeks they did the same things. I was very concerned about them going, but they were very careful and stayed healthy.
Just curious, and this may not be the place. But everyone talks about getting all of these tests. How long do they take you and how much do they cost? I have never gotten a kid (or myself) a flu/strep test without waiting 2-4 hours even with an appointment. Minute clinics don’t exist here. When younger S got his COVID test in late August, it cost me $180. The test was free through insurance, but the “office visit” which entailed waiting for 4 hours in a car and being swabbed outside was not. I assume that cost would be the same for all of us around here, so I’m not apt to get tested unless I have to.
Bradley Airport in CT has set up a Covid testing center at the airport. If your insurance covers the test, fine. If not, it’s about $150. If our kid wants to come here from AZ, he will have a test prior to his departure there to make sure he isn’t sick before the trip, and another at the airport. We will pay. And another a few days after he gets here. We will pay. We doubt that his OOS insurance will cover this test here.
Since we aren’t traveling anywhere ourselves, these tests will come out of our travel budget.
@ClassicMom98 - D2 has had a couple of scares during the past 7 months and she has paid to get tested with results the same day. Both times it was at a drive thru set up at a lab and she paid $85 out of pocket for same day results. Luckily it was negative both times.
Hugs to you, @Marilyn. Our son, who a week or so ago told us that he thought Christmas would be doable, walked back a bit on this yesterday. It’s a three-day drive out to him, and we were planning to eat, sleep, etc. in our SUV, but he says we really need to play this by ear and not make any plans until December. Part of the problem, for him, is the Army’s current quarantine rules affect his ability to go into the office (he is on a one-week-in/one-week-home schedule). At best, he’d have to take leave to be with us and then quarantine for 14 days after we left before returning to the office and that doesn’t work with his rotation. So we wait and see, but he also doesn’t want us taking any chances with his unavoidable contact vectors.
Walgreens, CVS, Rite Aid - all have drive through tests - you make an appt on line. Results largely in 1-2 days. Some local urgent cares have the rapid test - S took one last week - his insurance will cover it but it would have been $75 if it didn’t. Results in like 15 minutes. I believe he made an appt.
Appointments are the key to no wait.
Check your local health department webpage - they should have details on where in your area you can get tests.
Since son is not comfortable with us doing the drive, I’m not going to add to his stress of work and moving. He’s a worrier. California, Oregon, and Washington have had good COVID protocols, but travel is always a chance. Son obviously thinks seeing us in person is not essential but he wants us as safe as possible. Hard to argue that one.
Husband and I are both age 69 and I have two of the ubiquitous underlying conditions. Husband is already going some places that I personally would avoid so best not to increase his potential contacts on a road trip. He’s one of the people that talks strict protocol but has personal exemptions like going into his gym for short periods to use some equipment that he needs for PT (I do somewhat understand this one). And meeting the same group of guys for a few beers each week in an outdoor venue (not as understanding but can’t stop it).
So I’m resigned to waiting. We certainly have been communicating much more, both voice and video, so that’s a plus.
This may not pertain to your situation @Marilyn but in my case I have a child who struggles with anxiety.
She was very unsure and became very upset with the prospect of seeing her parents. Even though her father and I reassured her that we were doing absolutely what we could to be safe. That seeing her would be fine because both of us are being careful. A low risk situation, especially as we went at a time when cases in both of our states were doing ok.
She is working out of the house and has very few inactions with others. She does live with her boyfriend and he works out of the house but always with a mask and he was being tested once a week.
Anyways once I figured out that it was her anxiety talking and not her not wanting to see us, it made me feel better.
But me being me, I insisted and went to visit her. She needs to work on her own mental health issues and face some of her fears. It worked out well and she (and I) felt better seeing each other.
We are in Augusta, Georgia right now. When we visited in July and September, most people wore masks and socially distanced. This trip, we have seen few masks on folks (other than restaurant and store workers). We wear ours and folks stare. Whatever! At my in laws’ assisted living facility, we have to visit outdoors. Most people keep their masks on, but some don’t (including my FIL). H and I maintain a good distance from people, but we seem to be the odd ones. We are staying in an Airbnb that is part of the advanced cleaning protocol pledge. It is very clean, and we much prefer it to a hotel stay.
It is very clear from conversations I have overheard on this trip that one’s response to Covid is a political statement in these parts.
@Marilyn It is very hard not being able to see your son at this time, but it sounds like a good thing that you are respecting his wishes. He surely is worried about you and doesn’t want to endanger you.
We had a similar situation earlier in the year. I wanted to see my son at university at the end of March when the university closed campus, but he was quite insistent that he wasn’t comfortable with me travelling to see him (4 plane rides away - I am overseas). By August he felt that things had slowed down enough and I was able to see him - we social distanced and wore masks every time we saw each other throughout the whole visit.
I hope your son feels comfortable seeing you in the not too distant future as things improve. In the meantime, I think your respect for his outlook and feelings is very meaningful to him.
This thread makes me a bit sad. My philosophy is probably more life is short and bad things happen without notice, so go see your important people when you are able to be reasonably safe.
Peep2 had a travel exposure scare. Flew on a small jet with open cockpit for work, pilot tested positive day after. Passengers wore masks the whole time, none of 8 onboard were positive 14 days later.
Other peep still flying weekly w a mask and care and also been lucky. He does not quarantine after every flight, he would be in never-ending lonely quarantine.
@deb922 thanks for the comments. This trip is for my daughter’s mental health, not mine, though of course it will boost mine too! Due to her health condition she is far more isolated than peers, and lives alone. Luckily she is working (Zoom). Another factor is her grandmother, who could die at any time. (Originally I was going to fly to her and get an airbnb, but she wants to see other family.)
I understand about the 5 days versus 14 days but many people have recommended testing at 4-5 days. I think deciding on that will be a work in progress. I hear you and am going to keep checking medical advice with my doctor. I had been told 5 days was good. I think it will also depend on what she experiences on the plane.
Since she and I have both been isolating, the only known risk comes from airport and plane. I spent a lot of money on the suite on Jet Blue. It is a large compartment with plexiglass barriers on top of the partitions, a door and the ability to lie flat which means some distance between the row ahead. It is also in the front of the plane and she can choose the safest time to board and unboard. She will wear two masks, glasses and a face shield. I also bought her a hooded Tyvek suit which she may or may not wear. Technically, the virus particles are small enough to go through the material, I read.
She is flying in early Dec. and mid-Jan. to avoid holiday crowds, hopefully.
Cases are rising in our state. We may still cancel. If it was not possible to change flights or cancel for credit, I don’t think we would have taken the chance. I am pretty nervous.
For now, there is mental health benefit from having the plan, so current isolation does not stretch on and on without a break.
She is resilient and strong, so if we cancel I am sure she will be okay.
Anyone else on the timing of testing after flying? Our tests would be PCR.
I can’t believe how many people I know who get an antigen test in the airport and think they are ready to go. The virus wouldn’t even show up yet and antigen tests are even less reliable before symptoms.
@compmom I’m willing to take the risk b/c the doctor’s appointment and the information we learn from it are very important in terms of getting the proper treatment for my son. He’s only 19. We will be wearing masks when we are together.
We both live in places where social distancing and mask wearing is taken seriously so I feel comfortable about the situation. I’m not as concerned being around him as I am being in the medical facility, but we have been there before and they have excellent precautions/practices in place.
We have not seen our 21 y/o daughter since she left for spring semester of college last January. She left home thinking she would be back home in May for the summer. She decided to stay at school for the summer once COVID hit, since she had a job there and wasn’t sure she could find one at home for the summer. She was then going to come for a visit late summer before fall semester started, but we canceled her trip as we got nervous with the uptick of people traveling/flying. However, she must get her wisdom teeth out now before the end of the year. She’s also been really stressed out lately with things out of her control, so we are biting the bullet and flying her home for Christmas. None of us are immuno-compromised, nor have underlying health conditions. She is flying SW, so at least I know middle seats will be empty.
We haven’t quite determined how we will handle testing/quarantine. We do have PRC testing readily available w/quick turnaround for results, but honestly, I’m not sure we should be worried about her being contagious anymore than one of us. Two of our kids are in hybrid high school, and both of them work, but everyone is fully masked w/all kinds of precautions in those settings. Our holidays will just be my immediate family (my husband and kids). We normally celebrate Christmas with my parents and my brother’s family but we won’t be doing that this year.
Our kid will likely test before he leaves his state…and have negative results before he goes to the airport. He will isolate here and test probably 3-4 days after arrival. Results typically are available the next day. If negative, fine.
As with others, his risk is during his travel and he will be as careful as possible.
On the other end, he will test about 4 days after he gets back to his place.
He is WFH so not an issue when he gets back.
@compmom it sounds like some airlines have outfitted business class with the suite you are describing. Is that what it is? You get your own little spot, fully reclining, very comfortable and nice.
