<p>Diana66-I think it IS most definitely a sign of the times-of “kidults” taking longer to grow up. My parents did NOT pay for anything on a regular basis once I was living on my own and working. Nor would I have asked.</p>
<p>My kids want to pay their own way, and I appreciate that they do. If something happens to me or their father, they will not be in a position to have been relying on us. My ex keeps D on his insurance because it’s very cheap for him to do so. My S has his own insurance and pays for it himself. I should hope so, as he’s nearly 30!</p>
<p>I have several nieces in their 20’s and two saved up and bought homes on their own even though their parents COULD have helped. Their parents do not regularly pay any of their bills. The one whose parents are still subsidizing her can’t quite seem to live on her own. That is, she makes plenty of money, but never seems to have enough to pay all her expenses. I don’t think that’s a coincidence.</p>
<p>So many parents seem to be paying adult children’s’ cell phone bills. Stop paying their phone bill and they won’t be able to call you asking for money!</p>
<p>I helped DS quite a bit over the summer while making minimum wage. Certainly health insurance, plane tickets (on another coast), a dental bill, cell phone, and about $300 in start-up household and job hunting expenses. </p>
<p>He now has a decent paying job and doesn’t need my help. We do pay health insurance. Long story, but we have a family plan and it’s the same cost with him or without him on the plan. I did pay for plane tickets over the holidays.</p>
<p>Never faced this issue. We pay pretty much everything for ad because she doesn’t have a job. We let S stay on our medical until he aged out, as it cost us nothing. We kept him on our cell phone plan, about $55/mo. He earns much more than he spends at his full time job and part time job/hobby.</p>
<p>I find this thread interesting as on another thread yesterday everyone was positive that having $30k in student loans was no big deal because that is only $300/mo and by the time these former students are 30 they will not only have paid off all by $7200 of the loans, but will also have saved $20-40k for a downpayment for a house.</p>
<p>I didn’t follow the math on that thread, and it seems that many students aren’t earning $30k and paying all their bills and saving for major life purchases.</p>
<p>Our S earns many times the highest salary I made and is only supporting himself and saving ALOT of $$$$. Hopefully, D will eventually be self-supporting too.</p>
<p>We pay …nothing, on a regular basis. He has no student loans, he will age out of our insurance but it doesn’t cost extra to have him, anyway. He pays his car insurance, rent, cell phone, heat, and gas. and food. I will confess to sending him grocery store gift cards, and having him for dinner on occasion. His security deposit came from the “rent” he paid us while living at home, looking for a job. He makes less than 30K so when he needs help with medical/dental, I’m sure we’ll give him a loan. It is really hard to be 20-something in this economy, especially regarding rent. He pays 50% of his take home for rent, but really, really, really is done with the roommate life.</p>
<p>Diane66, The economy is partly responsible for the job crisis. I don’t understand why that is surprising. My husband and I got jobs immediately after college and we each were self supporting, couldn’t wait to get our own apartments. It was so much easier then. I have seen some adult children staying with their parents because their parents have encouraged them to do so and they are taking care of all their needs. I don’t particularly feel that is the right thing to do. But, there are plenty of graduates who venture out, with little resources, only their determination and their degree and they make a go of it.</p>
<p>We just had " the talk" with our D who will be graduating in May. She likely will be working a starter job for $10/hour while auditioning (theater major). We told her that we would pay her cell phone, health insurance (school insurance runs out in August so it will be Obamacare) and student loan ($50/month). Her grandmother will give her $5000 for graduation to be used for security deposit and 1st month’s rent. Other than that, our fingers are crossed!</p>
<p>I don’t agree that it’s just the economy. I think a lot of it is attitude. For example, pretty much everyone I know has internet and cable in the house. Those are NOT necessities (unless you have a job that requires working from home). I have a cell phone and use the internet on there as well as the free hot spot feature, which is very slow but works fine enough. </p>
<p>My first apartment was 150 sq ft. Again, it was a trade off. I wanted to live in the city and not have roommates.</p>
<p>I am pretty lucky in the job I have, etc., but I definitely think that there is a reluctance for people my age to move out. For me personally, job or no job, I was set to move out after graduating. If it meant part time jobs or couch surfing until or anything else, that’s what it would have to be. There are different circumstances in life, I understand that, but I am a big advote of independence and self-sufficiency, and I see a lot of people my age who simply don’t value that.</p>
<p>Even in NYC, here’s an example of a very basic budget, which IS doable
1300 - rent (you can find something much cheaper if you don’t live IN the city)
140 - food
30 - laundry
60 - electricity
100 - cell
100 (a little over) - monthly subway pass</p>
<p>Everything else is extra (big exception, of course insurance - if it’s not provided through the emloyer, I don’t know how much that would cost).</p>
<p>Get a cheaper place, and you’ll have spending money!</p>
<p>Fo S1, who is 29 and in grad school as a FT student, we pay a lot of his stuff. In fact, we bought a [very inexpensive] house in the city where he’s going to school so he can live there rent-free; we pay the taxes and the insurance. We also pay his medical insurance (the school plan is not appropriate for him) and, several years ago when he had a serious trauma, paid $5,000 for a surgery that insurance didn’t cover. </p>
<p>His younger brother, OTOH, is earning a very good salary right now and is handling everything himself. However, he might be in grad school also next year, and then we’ll just have to see.</p>
<p>Very much agree here that it is attitude. The culture has shifted, a lot, and expectations are high. The Starbucks, the I phones, the eating out frequently, the alcohol use all are luxuries I’d not allow myself back in the day. On the other hand, it is hard to expect that they will say no to many things peers take for granted. </p>
<p>However, I pay the cell phone bill for 3 these days, and need to start billing, as the cumulative bill is quite a chunk. They’re all making money, finally. Still, I have been paying some medical bills for my 25 year olds, as they are on my insurance for another year.</p>
<p>My parents paid for my health insurance the year between college and grad school. I got health insurance fairly early on after grad school by working part time at Caltech before I found a real job with no health insurance, but was able to stay on the HMO from Caltech. Totally unplanned, but it worked out great for me.</p>
<p>We’ll keep our younger son on our plan until he’s covered. We’ll probably pay for the phone and I imagine we’d offer to pay for trips home because we’d like to see him. He’s very frugal - he’d planned to take the bus back to college from a job hunting trip to DC. We offered to let him fly. A lot quicker, a lot safer and really not that expensive.</p>
<p>My parents paid for a few Thanksgiving trips long after we could have afforded them ourselves, but it was really, really nice not to have to put them in the budget.</p>
<p>We’ve never had to pay anything for our older son who had a job offer by the fall of senior year and has better health insurance than we do, and makes more than I ever made, though not more than dh!</p>
<p>My D is 22 and got an entry-level job right after graduation. She shares a tiny 1-bdrm apt with another girl in the Bay Area, where rents are ridiculous. We pay the car insurance because it’s much cheaper that way (group policy), and she is still covered by my health insurance from work, which is free, until age 26. Other than that, she charges the occasional gas or supermarket charge on our credit card but pays for everything else herself. I slip some money into her former college savings account every month in case she decides to go to grad school. Fortunately, we were able to pay for her undergrad degree so she has no student loans. I don’t mind helping her out because she is my only kid, and she’s shown herself to be thrifty and responsible.</p>
<p>I would certainly rather help out with some expenses for my adult child living on their own and trying to make ends meet, than have them live in my house. As acollegestudent says, it fosters the wrong attitude. Plus, I think I might be critical of any money they spend for entertainment or what I consider optional expenses. </p>
<p>acollegestudent - you need to figure taxes in your budget. Payroll, federal, and state. Few employers pay the full cost of insurance so you need to add about $150 to $200. Plus, most need startup money for toiletries, cleaning supplies, clothing, and maybe furnishing.</p>
<p>Diana…yes my parents did do similar for me. I graduated with a job (1982) that was probably equivalently low (broadcast). I lived at home for several months to save for apartment, utility deposits and to have some savings. Parents paid car loan for about 6 months until I had a roommate and figured out my budget.</p>
<p>We have one graduating in May who will live with us while in grad school to save money (will not really be able to work while in her program). I think the big thing with cell phones is how much cheaper it is to have an extra line on parents account than to have a single line plan…this seems to be pretty common these days.</p>
<p>My parents seem to have covered a lot of expenses for me compared to others in those first few months. They wanted to help get me onto my feet since they did not help me pay for college, I paid for the entire thing with loans. I don’t see why giving me a bit of money to help me out now is any worse than giving me quite a bit of money two years ago like most parents of college graduates would have done for tuition… I’d have rather they paid some of the tuition, but since they didn’t, now I really need some help. Or at least, I did the first year. After that I was able to start figuring things out for myself. If my student loan payments weren’t almost half of my starting salary I’d have been a lot better off.</p>
<p>None. I gave them a good education with no loans. If they choose to be in an occupation that makes that little then that is their choice. But I will not pay for their cell phone, car insurance, rent, or any other expense including health insurance. I would consider that to be a failure on my part to not have successfully raised them to be self sufficient. </p>
<p>I also believe that they CAN support themselves on $30,000 or less assuming they make the right choices. They can live with a roommate, take public transportation, no cable, etc. But if they choose a career where they make so little, then they will have to learn to live with it because I am not going to support them forever.</p>