If a child enters foster care I wouldn’t count on having a home once they turn 18. Young people age out of foster care all the time. They’re “discharged” from their foster homes and have nowhere to go. Nebraska has services to try to help, but these young people are essentially homeless. They have no ties with their natural parents and their foster parents have zero responsibility for them. I’d discourage OP from doing anything that might result in them becoming homeless.
A study of Nebraska foster care reported that the goal for the majority of case plans was reunification with the family. Only 10% of case plans had an end goal of emancipation. So, in all likelihood, OP wouldn’t be approved for emancipation and would be returned to his home. How likely is it that his mom would pay for college then? Would she let him return home? There’s no guarantee that he’d even be placed with a foster family. Almost 40% of foster home placements were with relatives or with their own parents (on a trial basis), 25% were group homes/institutional settings, and only 34% were with actual foster families.
Even if OP can cut ties with his parents and become emancipated all we know for sure is that he’ll be eligible for a $6k Pell Grant. Would that cover the gap at any of the schools (incl room and board costs)? He’d have to fully support himself during breaks. He may be better off attending whatever college he can commute to from home and spend all the time on campus that he can. If I were OP, my goal would be to get a degree, get a job and an apartment, then invite the brother to come live with him. It would be a long-term plan, but it would allow him to be self-supporting.
The part of your comment about Foster Care is what I initially thought, which is why I never tried to go to foster care before, even when finding out I could (age 13).
Even if I get an apartment, I couldn’t “invite” my brother to come live with me. The reason for that is even though he’s an adult (21 years old), it was determined that he’s not able to live on his own when he was 18. Because of this, my mom is his legal guardian and he isn’t able to live anywhere else until she dies or unless she decides to stop being his legal guardian (which I doubt she’d do). Not only is he prohibited from living elsewhere, but he still needs my parents to sign permission slips for stuff at his internships due to him not being able to make his own decisions and not being seen as a legal adult.
I appreciate your sympathy. The staying away from home is already what I’ve been doing since middle school. I did the extracurricular activities that I do in order to spend less time at home. I just wanted to be able to leave my house for good rather than keep living here any longer.
Like many other people have already said, make the best of the situation.
Your parents are providing free room and board, take advantage of that. In addition, they are willing to pay for college, even though it is not your choice of college, it would be better than moving out and trying to make ends meet by yourself.
Take control of your financial situation. Open another bank account. Send your wages to the new bank account.
At college, spend as much time there as possible. Look for a job there.
You are soon to be 18, so I believe the abuse is not physical any more. If it is I think it is time to defend yourself.
Would it?
I don’t know all details obviously but seeing advice to someone to stay in an abusive situation just because the abuser is supporting them financially sends chills up my spine.
Note - It’s hard work to do computer degrees in 4 years, even without wrestling. You likely won’t be able to get all the course sequences done in 3 years. At this point, I don’t think you can count on the cost savings of no-4th-year.
Well the way the program works is it assumes I’ve already got at least 9 college credits (I’ll have 27 by the end of this year assuming I pass my AP Tests) and I’ll also have to take classes over the summer (which I have no problem doing). It also assumes I don’t fail a lot of classes (which I don’t think will be a problem for me). Lastly, it assumes I take an extra class during each semester (no problem, and it’s also flexible so I could take more classes in the summer if I want, which means I could take less classes during wrestling season if necessary). With those factors, the program guarantees that I’ll graduate in 3 years with all my credits.
AP credits will definitely help. But… if there are a lot of required sequences for your major (very true for engineering, not sure about your program) then you may have challenges.