Could someone knowledgeable in the legal area inform OP about the legality of recording mom’s abuse inside their home?
And can others help address foster care details? Would this be run through the county or city or state? What level of abuse evidence would be required to give OP confidence to move forward with claiming abuse?
You do seem quite set on Doane in particular, and it makes me wonder why. Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/friends going there? That’s nothing to sneeze at; community is important. But know that you will build a new sense of community wherever you end up.
You can absolutely finish high school and graduate as an emancipated minor. Email your guidance counselor and do a quick Google search–laws differ from state to state. In Mass, you are basically considered an adult at an earlier age, so you can get an apartment, etc. without a parent’s consent. You will usually have someone appointed to your case for guidance. I wouldn’t worry about foster care. Anyway, talking to a guidance counselor about it doesn’t mean that you have to do it. You’re just gathering information to make an informed decision. If you don’t feel safe in your home, be sure to bring that up as well.
You’re not eligible for need-based scholarships because your parents’ money is the deciding factor. If you’re emancipated, only the money that you make will be counted, and you could be eligible. Again, talk to your guidance counselor (because at the end of the day, I’m just a stranger on the internet that doesn’t live anywhere near Nebraska).
Classes at SCC are regionally accredited, and it actually looks like they work with UNL as a bit of a pipeline for transfers. Here’s a link to their Academic Transfer Program: https://www.southeast.edu/academictransfer/
I even found a STEM scholarship that you might be eligible for that’s worth up to $8 transfers from SCC to UNL (deadline to apply as an SCC student is March 31st): https://www.southeast.edu/stem-connect/
Often, schools have transfer equivalents right on their websites so you can be sure that your credits will transfer. Here’s Doane’s transfer course equivalency guide: https://www.doane.edu/transfer/guide
Hey, if Doane wanted to give you money to wrestle and play in the band, there’s no reason to think they wouldn’t want to pay you to do those same things a year from now. That said, don’t be afraid to talk to them about it. I know it seems like colleges are these giant, impenetrable institutions, but they’re really just a bunch of regular people doing their jobs, ready to answer your questions.
Regarding my full ride: many of these were need-based grants from the state and the university, but they gave them to me because I got great grades, am somewhat articulate, and had fantastic recommendations. I applied to UMass just as you’ve been applying, but as a transfer instead of a freshman. I did apply to four different state schools, and I got into all of them, but I just so happened to get the best offer from the best university in our state. I didn’t hedge my bets–I covered my bases.
Won’t let me edit, but that was supposed to read:
I even found a STEM scholarship that you might be eligible for that’s worth up to $8k per year and transfers from SCC to UNL (deadline to apply as an SCC student is March 31st): https://www.southeast.edu/stem-connect/
I don’t really know a lot of friends going to Doane. I mainly wanted to go there because I get to wrestle and do band. I can do band anywhere, but I can’t wrestle anywhere. My high school coaches talked to a lot of college coaches to help me get on a team and ended up getting me connected to a coach at a good school with a decent team. On top of that, I do save money by going to Doane compared to other colleges (not including community colleges) because of the 3 year graduation program, and I just got accepted into it yesterday afternoon. I know I did a bad job explaining everything in my original post, which led to a lot of confusion since everyone assumed I was planning on doing the regular 4 year graduation thing, which would make it more expensive, but since no colleges in Nebraska (that I applied to) have a program like that, that would make Doane the cheapest option (besides community college).
Other users have brought up the fact that I probably won’t be able to make a living off of Walmart alone at this point since I only make $11.73 an hour. I don’t know whether or not I would, because as low as that amount is, minimum wage in the US is $7/hour, minimum wage in Nebraska is $9/hour, and Nebraska is also a fairly cheap state, especially when compared to those more populated states like New York or California. I’ll definitely have to do some more research and calculations before deciding whether or not I want to be emancipated.
By the way, if I’m emancipated, do my parents still have to fill out my FAFSA until I’m 24?
Do you think your high school grades had anything to do with your full ride at all? I have a 3.5 unweighted GPA (3.9 weighted) and got a 1240 on the SAT (equivalent of a 26 on the ACT) and am in the top 75% of my class, but that wasn’t enough to impress any colleges in in my state to give me a full ride (except for one small college that doesn’t have the major I want). Or is community college like a fresh start that colleges pay attention to?
Your high school counselor may be able to get you information on foster care, recording abuse, etc. But be aware that he/she is probably a “Mandatory Reporter,” which means if you say some thing that leads him/her to believe you are being abused, he/she must report it.
Don’t switch jobs now. Working for a large company that is allowed to be open is the place to be. (If you don’t know what I mean, it’s coronavirus.)
Does anyone here think there is any chance of OP’s wrestling coach helping to get him some additional scholarships for wrestling at Doane? (I admittedly have NO idea how athletic scholarships work, but it appears we have located another possible adult resource for OP.)
There’s one simple solution to all of this. Enlist in the military. Once you’re out, you’re emancipated as an independent student and you have a full GI bill to pay for your college.
Ohhh, gotcha. Well, yeah, okay. I think that being able to do wrestling and band are important if those are things you’d like to do. And an accelerated degree is definitely attractive. I get the appeal of going to Doane now.
Being emancipated is like being legally divorced from your parents, so no, they would have nothing to do with your FAFSA.
In addition to your work at Walmart, you would probably be eligible for Federal Work Study to make more money on campus, which could also help you pay for expenses (and often, you’ll get valuable work experience within your own major). And school loans aren’t the best, but with the Fed cutting interest rates to 0%, there’s never been a better time to borrow money if you need to. You’re going into a high-paying field of abundant employment, so repayment shouldn’t really be all that difficult for you.
My high school grades were terrible. I barely graduated, then worked for a couple of years before before I decided that I really needed to go back to school to do what I wanted to do. I mean, maybe they helped, in that the university could see where I came from and where I was headed (kind of a “Most Improved Player” situation). But no one is impressed by my high school grades. Ha.
If you do become emancipated, you would be considered an independent student. That means only your information goes on FAFSA, so your parents would be completely out of it. Then, you would qualify for much more in the way of need-based aid.
Typically it is not easy for a minor to become emancipated. Perhaps start with your guidance counselor at school, but ultimately you will need an attorney.
If what OP says is pure unvarnished truth …telling it to a mandatory reporter may not be a bad thing.
From what I’ve read I’m on the side of get out of the house. I think that’s going to be hard to do full time at college for all the reasons stated, and it may mean taking a longer term view. Maybe wrestling and band need to take a back seat for now if things are that critical. Moving out, working as close to full time at Walmart at possible while starting college via community college is one option. (I haven’t properly followed if OP at this age can open his own bank account but obviously that would be key.)
The option of enlisting is an interesting one. I’ve known people who’ve done it for similar reasons, got out of home, and had college paid for. I don’t know if being a minor is an issue here?
Leaving home without addressing the abuse may put autistic brother in greater danger. Dad is an adult, and has options. But who can help defend brother if OP just leaves?
I know you mean well but this responsibility doesn’t need to be on this student.
Emancipation was suggested precisely to sever ties economically with the birth family. FASFA included. I am sure the prospect is scary though.
The father is an adult and the parent of the brother. To be honest, although he may enjoy attending the community college and not working full time, sometimes you don’t get to do that once you have a family and responsibilities even if it will get you a better job later.
https://nebraskalegislature.gov/laws/statutes.php?statute=43-4809
Realistically, it is March. You do not currently qualify for emancipation because you live at home. You’d have to move out, support yourself, and then apply for court emancipation. It is unlikely you will get an order of emancipation before August.
If you are in danger, go to the police. You will most likely be sent to foster care or a group home setting. You will have very little control where you will live unless you know someone who will take responsibility for you (this is called kinship care but it doesn’t need to be a relative - a coach, a teacher, a scout leader, a neighbor can all be considered kinship providers). If you aren’t in danger and just want to leave home, you are going to have to provide for your own support.
You have a computer. Look up foster care in Nebraska, look up emancipation, look up ‘running away’ and you’ll find some options and maybe some help.
Getting into foster care at the age of almost 18 may not do much for you, as you would not have the money for Doane with no parental support. Is it likely that you can approve the abuse is bad enough to be removed from the home? This would also end your relationship with your dad. Would your parents paint a different picture or your behavior (not trying to minimize the abuse, but given the lack of records to date, what can realistically be proven in court?). What are the likely placement options for an almost-18 yo? Would you want to live in a group home or institution? How would that serve your college plans?
Again, so sorry you are in this position. But you need to look at realistic solutions. Emancipation seems difficult and foster care may not be likely and will only help for one year; you would age out at 19. I don’t see how foster care will get you to Doane. Not clear that your parents wouldn’t still be required to fill out the FAFSA. Foster care does not terminate parental rights or responsibilities. That is a long process. Most of the older teens in foster care in Nebraska are reported to end up with family unification.
Are there any options for living elsewhere? I know you don’t have family in the area, but as the previous poster mentioned, is there a family friend or religious group member you may be able to live with?
OK, I’m going to come out and say it.
Teenager is dead set on going to a school that he can’t afford and is consistently miscalculating the actual tuition costs, even after math is corrected numerous times.
Teenager is angry that mom won’t let him go to the school he REALLY wants to go to. Conveniently, mom now happens to be a “serious abuser” though that is a completely unrelated issue.
Seriously abusive mother lets teenager participate in numerous ECs, appears to have taught him a healthy work ethic with a good GPA, and mom wants son to go somewhere affordable, because she seems to understand the math as well as the other contributors on this post.
Abuse allegations are extremely vague and contradictory.
“Abusive” mother is still married to father, yet no resentment toward father who never seems to step in to stop said “serious abuse.” Father just happens to be OK with teenager going to desired school.
What’s going on here is toxic teenage drama. And I’m suspecting that this whole abuse scenario is fiction. If this were my kid, I would probably send him to community college for his first 2 years.
I’m thinking the only sane person in this scenario is the mother.
Well, I certainly don’t think that making assumptions and allegations is going to help anyone in this scenario. Offering facts and experience-based suggestions–not one-sided criticisms–so that OP can make an informed decision is probably the best route to take if you’re looking to help.
And isn’t that why we’re all here? To offer information and be helpful?
Based on all these replies, I’ve concluded neither foster care nor emancipation would not be a good idea. I think my best bet is getting out of the house, which is what I was trying to do in the first place.
I do agree that job-wise, I should probably stick with Walmart.
I don’t know how good of an option the military is. I know it can pay for college, but I don’t really want to fight in war. I know there are some other options besides the war type stuff, but I don’t know much about those or if it’d even be worth it. Plus, I thought scholarships from the military had a deadline for applying (though I could be wrong).
I’m not really here to argue about the abuse. This is the internet and I can’t really prove the abuse is going on to anyone here unless I record it (and I still don’t know if that’s legal). I made this post for information, and I’ve learned quite a bit from all these posts, and I appreciate all the help everyone is trying to provide.
You can contact and talk to a military recruiter at any time. At 17, a parent would have to sign allowing you to enlist. Once enlisted, a minor is emancipated. However, recruiters are always happy to assist in paving the way. You’d no longer answer to your parents, but to the superiors in your chain of command.
Understand, however, that enlisting in the military is first and foremost an oath to “God and Country” to serve in whatever capacity the Commander in Chief sees fit. You’d be agreeing to turn your life over to the government for the period of your enlistment. It’s a both serious responsibility and an honor to serve your country. An excellent way to earn educational benefits, learn critical job skills, learn to manage your own finances, possibly see the world, etc…
The GI Bill isn’t a scholarship, it’s an educational benefit that you earn with your time in service.
Foster care services don’t always end at 18. In Colorado, services can last until age 23 (not necessarily living in a group home or with a foster family). Check the Nebraska rules.
If a student was in foster care or is emancipated, he should be able to fill out the FAFSA as an independent student and the parents would not have to complete it.
One of the benefits of foster care is that there is help for the student in completing a lot of these forms.
Not sure that is true^^^. The goal of most foster care placement is family reunification. If the courts determine that the parents simply need some counseling and want the student to return home, the parents would still be required to fill out the FAFSA. There may be some support beyond age 19, but my guess is that a kid from an in-tact home with parents who are willing to pay for college is not going to be at the top of that list unless the abuse is substantial and can be proven.
OP - I’m very sorry for what you are going through. I don’t have any advice on how to convince your mom but if you do have to stay home, get as involved on campus as you possibly can. There is no reason why you can’t keep yourself busy from morning to night and just use your home to sleep. On the weekends, go to the campus library, meet your project teams, go to the computer lab, continuing working etc… You can make this a much different experience than you have now once you are in college, with minimal contact with your mother.
Best of luck to you.