My younger D and a friend put their information on Tinder as a lark. My D met a young man and has been out with him twice. I’ve heard of Tinder but am really not familiar with it. At one time I thought it was kind of a “hook up” site. Any information?
Definitely a hookup app. I’d probably just talk to her about how this specific guy is going rather than seek info about the app itself, because everyone is different.
Tinder can be for dates or hook-ups. It’s whatever the people decide on.
My sister is about to marry someone she met on Tinder.
You put a picture and a short bio up. You then go through others’ profiles and if you’re interested, you swipe one way, and if you’re not, you go the other. If both of you swipe that you’re interested, you’re matched and can then exchange messages.
Generally considered a hookup site but I do know of two people who have long standing serious relationships with a person he/she met on Tinder.
One if my relatives met her boyfriend on Tinder. They dated > 1.5 years and got along well until trey decided they were growing in different directions. That was the only person either of them met on tinder.
Thanks everyone. I’d heard of Tinder but never really thought about either of my kids using it. I can’t say I’m elated but I think I have to trust her. She was honest enough to tell us that 1. she went out with the fellow a couple of times, his name and what she knows about him and 2. how she met him. My paternal radar is up but I can’t say I am uneasy about what she has told me … yet. She has always been a driven young lady who keeps busy and works hard. If her personality changes or she changes her habits I’ll become more suspicious. She is a bright young women who has always been responsible but it’s never easy when you care.
Tinder isn’t any better or worse than meeting random people anywhere else imo. Everyone has to meet somewhere 
Among people in their 20s, there is very little stigma about using Tinder to meet people.
My H used to have similar concerns, @lvvcsf, but his perspective is now changed. My niece, S2 and D met their current significant others on internet dating sites other than Tinder. Each has been together for about 8 months at this point. While my understanding is that Tinder started out as more of a “hookup” site, it’s now used like all the others. And @romanigypsyeyes, I agree. I don’t see how this is any different than meeting a random person in a bar.
My kid said the number of creepy men profiles was proportional to the general sketchiness of different cities, so she used Tinder to estimate the “sketchiness index” of various places.
My daughter met one of her previous boyfriends thru Tinder. It’s no more a hookup site than any other matchmaking site. But I disagree that it’s the same as meeting in person in a bar or party. With a live first meeting, you have context. How does he treat his friends? Your friends? The servers? Is he sober? These things are easier to observe in real life.
^^ True. But with online dating you may talk or text for awhile before you even meet. So you do at least arrive at the first date with some information rather than a blank slate.
^ what abasket said.
This was a topic of discussion with my sister and I today. Her daughter ( my niece ) signed up and met a guy who she liked but he wants to keep it casual, while she is looking for potential serious relationship.
My daughter who is more familiar tells me that tinder is just for hook-ups. I told her that I trust the judgement of my tough as nails daughter ( who exibits way more common sense that her cousin who is 5 years older
My son is in a committed relationship (for about 2 years now) with a woman he met on Tinder. DD has several friends in relationships with people met on Tinder. It’s a way to meet people, and who knows, there might be something to come of it but not an expectation. DS also tells me that if he is embarrassed by the way some men treat women on Tinder.
Talking for a while online is not the same as watching the other person in hus/her “native habitat.” I’ve got nothing against Tinder or By other dating app, but my vote is with meeting someone the old-fashioned way, in person.
My D met her BF on Match. She ended up with two different dates that way, but key for her was she actually recognized the guys. One someone she knew in HS at youth retreats and guy she dating now lived in her apt complex and she had talked to him in dog park. Otherwise she probably wouldn’t have followed thru with either date.
The old fashioned way is great! But if you are 25 or 35 or whatever and there have been no prospects in the places you frequent (be it the bar, work, church or whatever) then online is an avenue where people go for the purpose of meeting someone and you can perhaps sort out possibilities based on whatever is important to you - looks, activities, interests…
I have a niece who is turning 40 this year. She has some social issues (borderline Asperger) and is quite religious. She has never had a boyfriend. She wants a man in her life and a fairytale marriage and family more than anything. The idea of it kind of rules her life. She really doesn’t do or go anywhere - besides her small church - where she would have the opportunity to meet someone. Yet she refuses to try online dating of any sort - even Christian online dating - because she is convinced that a relationship can only be “real” if God puts your mate in front of you in the “old fashioned” way. We tell her “you don’t have to look at any one guy as potential husband - you could just enjoy some dating!” - but she sees it as not natural.
It makes me really sad to see her getting to the point now of perhaps having to give up her dream of becoming a mother - or wife - as she starts her 40’s alone.
Time and place for many things.
Okay I know that it would be better to meet someone in the usual channels. Every time someone posts about online dating, this comes up. I personally think it’s like when people who don’t have kids say things like I would never let my kids do this or that. You never know what you would do when you (or your loved ones) when in a similar situation.
As I have posted in the past my D had a 5 year relationship that she broke off around 1.5 years ago. She thought this was the person she would spend the rest of her life with but it wasn’t to be. She’s out of college and works mostly with older married people. She went on dates with someone from her gym and from friends of friends. She really put herself out there but nothing was clicking.
So she signed up for on line dating. A year before she tried it briefly but it wasn’t the right time and met a few people but again nothing clicked. Dated someone on and off but it didn’t work out. Tried on line dating again.
Went on a lot of dates, there were some nice men. She didn’t want hookups and was careful of who she matched with and who she met. There are people there to hook up, both men and women.
D was ready to stop the on line dating, it’s hard work to sift through who isn’t in it for the same reasons you are and to go on a bunch of first dates. It’s exhausting.
But then, she had a first date that clicked… It clicked with both of them apparently. They never would have met as they had no friends in common. But his sister lives a block away.
They’ve had a bunch of dates since then. He’s cute, he’s hard working,he’s really nice, they have tons in common. He hits a lot of her wishes, kind, has a job, house and a dog.
D has met his parents, he met us when we went to our D’s town recently. He was as nice as d said.
Where this will go is anyone’s guess. But should D and her beau not have met because it wasn’t through “normal” channels? I hope not.
^^ Hoping for the best for your D Deb!
Perhaps a change in how we think should happen. Instead of asking “where did you two meet?” we should be asking “how did you two meet”?