<p>Not sure if there’s anything to take away from this, but your post made me think of the son of a friend of mine. Always fairly socially awkward. He went off to a small school and my friend (with the best of intentions) tried to shovel him into things <em>she</em> thought would be good for him. Made him apply to be an RA (he didn’t make it), made him rush a fraternity (he was not selected by any), . . . . During his freshman year he expressed interest in joining the local volunteer fire department. She pooh-poohed it. Late in his second year he still hadn’t found a close group of friends, but he finally persevered in joining the fire dept. He’s happy has a clam. Joined another volunteer fire department here at home this summer. </p>
<p>I think the takeaway is that you need to let him find his own thing. I don’t believe there’s a “magic bullet” that will make a kid more mature/more socially comfortable. I also do <em>not</em> think it’s a good idea to let your son think <em>you</em> are concerned about this. Chances are he’ll figure it out. <em>All</em> college freshmen are a little out of their element. I’d try not to worry about it, and just try to make sure he chooses a school where he feels comfortable with the student body. (Re-visits to the top contenders in the spring–including an overnight–can help him get a real feel for the kinds of kids at the schools.)</p>
<p>And in my experience, all boys are slow to mature. ;)</p>