Once you were accepted, what were some things that you felt were positive in terms of helping you get excited and make your decision?
Did current parents reach out immediately after M10? Did you get connected with team captains if you expressed any interest? Swag? Hand written notes?
What was most helpful and impactful? Please share your experiences.
One of our favorites was a hand written post card from a “future teammate” talking about the team and traditions awaiting even though we’d only expressed interest and we’re not at the recruiting level.
Our son was accepted to two schools, no waitlists. On revisit day, in his eyes, Choate’s campus and facilities outshone the other choice. I think he made up his mind before he got out of the car. Both schools far outshone our local options, so either was fine with us though I preferred the other school. Swag, calls, personal touches would not have made any difference to him or us.
Hand written note in acceptance package talking about what had impressed the interviewer and what made him think my son would be a great fit for Groton. When people are interviewing so many kids it really shows the level of personalization that they remember your kid enough to write such a personal note.
Several unique aspects of the school - 1. day students having a room 2. full faculty meeting where they discuss each kid. They come away really understanding the kids (which we know from teachers speaking to us after this meeting). 3. More adaptable curriculum if you’re advanced in a subject
Revisit days, seeing the other kids he knew from sports teams accepted at other schools and knowing they were not kids he wanted to be in classes with.
Not an answer to your specific question, but something we found very impactful in the aftermath of M10. We got into 3 schools. After we accepted at one and politely declined the other 2, the other two diverged enormously in their responses.
One school was incredibly gracious, asked where we were going (of course), wished us the best, emails from multiple touch points, etc.
The other was radio silent. Their complete lack of response, again despite multiple touch points, felt like validation of having made the right choice not to attend.
I’ve posted before that NMH did the most beautiful job of getting to know our son:
At revisit day, they had all the kids get into a circle. Each was given a large envelope with the name of a prospective student on it and they were to continue passing them in one direction until all the envelopes ended up in the right hands. This is how they award diplomas on graduation day, a process indicating that an NMH education is a product of a community of many hands; no one achieves alone. The kids then brought the envelopes back to their seats and read the content with their parents. Inside the envelope, on heavy, suitable-for-framing, diploma-quality paper was a certificate with the NMH logo and graphic of the campus. Below the picture were several paragraphs explaining in specific detail what NMH knew about our son and how NMH and he were a match. It brought a big lump to my throat. NMH was unabashedly courting our son.
I’ve since learned to put this courting into its proper perspective. Every school is wooing every applicant it admits, but understand that they fiercely protect their yields. Enjoy the attention, but remain aware of the context.
At our son’s Choate revisit, the headmaster (not the current one), had a flattering talk with him and did the full-court press closing with a firm handshake and asking outright, “Well (kiddo), will we see you on campus in the fall?” It was all very flattering, but part of the game.
There is no need for further communication after declining. I would read nothing into this. It does not reflect one way or the other on the school, IMO.
All I’m saying is that some schools do not see a need to communicate after a decline—even gracious schools. I don’t doubt that you had a bad experience with one school, but that school was “bad” for the reasons you experienced prior to your declining admission. Their “silence” after your decision was independent of your prior experience, most likely just SOP for the school.
Declining NMH felt bad to me, and I wrote a nice note explaining how impressed I was, etc. No response and none required. I still think highly of that school.
As you point out, “of course” the “gracious” school was following up to see if you’d give up where your child chose to go. That is part of their data collection and future yield protection. Done in a gracious way, of course.
I think it’s just smart long term development of goodwill for any school. Future boarding school applicants will ask current parents where to apply. Bad interactions will just translate into bad reviews—for a long time.
Some of the DC day schools have had some poorly done admissions processes. Parents all chatter about it online within months. But even competitive schools can have charming admissions staff and ambassadors—which parents talk about years later!
For me, I really appreciated that several of the campuses’ clubs reached out to me by email asking me to attend orientation days and said their members were available if you needed to connect with someone for going around campus and see the important places to know, or if you needed any advice in the first days of school.
These emails also came with invitations to join their first week’s reunions so we could get to know each other.
Our experience was Pre-Covid, so not sure if this will now be your experience…
Got swag in the mail (best ones were Hotchkiss (blue & white M&Ms), Emma (bracelet), Porters, and SPS (best official letter and wax-stamped envelope). Others don’t stand out.
You will get a notice about Revisit Days - often this is in the acceptance email.
You might get a call from a current parent who will answer questions you might have……you might also get a call from someone in admissions.
Sometime after you sign the documents and submit your deposit, the school might send your student a link to take an online placement test in math and their foreign language.
What do schools not do so much of?
Communicate often after revisit or after you have signed up. Every year on this CC Prep School Admissions board, we see posts by parents (more than students) asking why they have not heard from the school. The reasons are many - first, they are busy graduating Seniors and renewing enrollments for returning students. Most schools do not communicate enough for parents liking during the months of May-June. Adjust expectations accordingly and you won’t be so worried.
One school just sent my kid a box of chocolates a few days ago. Obviously we don’t know if she got in or not, but it was well and very quickly appreciated.
Our student received Valentines fair trade chocolate from Emma and a handwritten Valentine’s card from Porters. DA swag arrived on Mach 1O…more swag at Revisit. I do calls to accepted students, so you might hear from me😉
The process after M10 carried great weight with our family’s decision. The school we thought was atop our list was so unresponsive to our questions and requests to speak with certain folks after the acceptance that it was our quickest rejection. Meanwhile, the school we eventually chose had a dedicated senior person from the admissions office who answered our numerous questions with alacrity and completeness, or he got us connected to the person with whom we needed to communicate, and that person responded within a day or two. The school set a level of professionalism and responsiveness that we hoped would carry on into the actual schooling, and so far, it has.
I would think a parent call to be valuable. Is that something most schools do? I think there are many questions parents want to ask of another parent, not the school.
Lol. A parent from Kent called and in that conversation snorted at Choate saying it was “too girly” for a boy. That certainly left an impression.
Exeter was sort of impersonal. Hotchkiss was bland. Groton was awesome, with a super personal acceptance, cool activities very personal. Choate was nice. George was nice. SweetBoy loved everything Groton. But the curriculum was just a bit too inflexible and we worried it was too small for a big personality. And Choate had several special things he wanted.
Our favorite gifts were tshirts by a mile although the water bottle from Exeter was very nice and is in regular rotation.
I got a parent call from every school where DS was admitted. It was a nice gesture but I didn’t feel totally comfortable asking questions - wasn’t sure I quite knew their context/agenda so wasn’t quite sure how to “place” responses.
With that said, I agreed to be at the revisit days, mostly shepherding parents around campus to panels, events, etc… Lots of people had questions for me! So maybe I didn’t use my parent call wisely!
The coach called to talk to my son and when he volunteered that his dad had coached his team for several years, the coach offered to speak with him as well. That sold dad!
I think for DS, it was the time he got to spend alone with students that made him feel like it was a place where he’d feel at home. And I have no idea what they did!
I used to make those calls, too. I was given a list of all admitted students from our state (pretty short list) and attempted to reach at least one parent. The purpose was to welcome the family to Choate, answer any questions they had, and make myself available as an ongoing local resource. There was no agenda. It was just a reach out. Some parents wanted to talk, others didn’t. The only thing I reported back was whether or not I had made contact. Some never responded to vmail and that was fine. At least they had a name and number if they ever had a need to call.
I also make those calls and I’ve never once been asked by a coach or AO for feedback on the parents I spoke with. It was purely a service for newly admitted families to ask questions.